Christmas Cards

It seems like I just finished sending out my change of address cards, and now it's time to send out the Christmas cards. The current issue of Real Simple suggests not sending out holiday cards, or only sending them every other year! Now, how un-Christmas is that?

While I agree with the article that doing the she didn't send me a card last year, so I'm not sending her one this year trick is a bunch of nonsense. You shouldn't send cards out of obligation either. But to not send cards at all. That's one tradition I am not ready to give up.

Of course, I am not a big fan of those "what the family did this year" letters that get enclosed in said cards. I had a friend in college whose mother apparently had received several of these letters that year from various friends and family members: "Jenny made the honor roll every semester, Roger can't decide between Princeton and Yale, the twins made the state swimming finals, and Mutzy, our dog, is being considered for a Purina commercial -- aren't we great?!" She ragged my friend the whole holiday break about why she couldn't be more like "them".

I recall telling my friend that these letters were silly, and just the mother's attempt to make herself feel better about her miserable little life. If she read them more carefully she would realize that there was a lot that wasn't being said. For example, Jenny was probably attending some public school where if you were a six grader and not pregnant they gave you an award. Roger was trying to pick which fantasy school he was going to apply to because his parents were only going to give him $50 for his college applications (they know he is really JC material). As for the twins, they are afraid of the water, but the neighbors took them to watch the state championships that one weekend she and her husband had to themselves. And the dog, well, someone did say he looks a little like the lab in the Alpo commercial.

Also, I said to her, if they had to tell the truth, you might not want to read it (of course, if written correctly, it could be good for a laugh). The fact that Jenny got her period this year and turns into a real monster for a week each month, or that the twins could outwit Roger any day of the week because all he wants to do is join a band, or that her biggest fear is that her husband is having an affair, would probably get her crossed off your Christmas card list. No family is perfect. And shame on all those people who send those over-the-top bragging letters. And even more shame on those who believe them and berate their own children about it.

On that note, I should get started before they turn into Valentine's Day cards.