rummage sale alert...file under "good intentions, hell bound"

I want to believe that their hearts are in the right place, but sometimes you really must wonder about the brains of social committee*. (Perhaps they are a little too social when they hold their meetings -- that isn't coffee in that flask is it, Mildred?) Case in point, the upcoming rummage sale.

Sounds like a good idea. Bring the community together, with the added bonus of getting rid of some unwanted junk, um, I mean items, that might be cluttering up your space. Solid start that goes downhill quickly -- hold onto your luge!

To begin with, this is a "closed" rummage sale. That means that only tenants and owners can participate in both the selling and the buying. So much for getting rid of the junk. Let alone the potential issues this could cause: "knock, knock, this toaster you sold me that you said works, burns my bagels -- gimme back my six bucks." [Remember, these are the folks that need security to get involved when they do their laundry and had the radio from the gym removed because no one could agree on a station. Oh yeah lets sell our junk to our neighbors, sing along.]

Of course, they have made arrangements for sellers to donate unsold items to a local charity, which leads me to my next point. If you should sell your stuff, 25% of the sale goes to said charity. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for giving to the needy, but this seems like one of those barriers to getting people to participate. I mean, haven't they heard of eBay? I could be wrong, but I don't think their take is anywhere near that much. Also, this could backfire. What if you sell nothing? Then the charity gets nothing either. Why not make a set fee ($5-$10 like most places do) to set up a table. (Of course as I write this I realize that if you sell nothing, and had to pay $10, it would suck -- but hopefully the idea is to sell stuff.)

I just have a bad feeling about this. There is something about living in close quarters. Psychologists have studied this in great detail. The bottom line is that the more you know about said neighbors, the less you want to socialize with them. So seeing the 70's era lamp that the guy on twenty wants to sell, or his cd collection, or knick knacks (or oh my god, please tell me those aren't his knickers), let alone haggling for a stained sweater from a woman on six, probably isn't going to increase the likelihood that I want to say hello on the elevator, let alone invite them over for tea.

Plus, and here's the real scary thought, there's just something weird about selling stuff to people you might see again. Let's say as an example, that a woman on three sells her pants to a woman on seventeen. One day while walking the dog, the seller sees the buyer in her old pants, except she looks so much better in them! Is this going to make the woman on three feel better, or might security have to hold her back as she lunges for the woman on seventeen?

Of course, this could be marble magnet heaven. Cha-ching! I am so evil, sometimes.

*I know that this could be read, and I could become quite hated in this building. But you know what, part of me really doesn't care. Some people find this funny in a hee hee sort of way. I write for those people that get it.