the partners' club

Last week there was a bit of a discussion (on my other journal) about what sets partners of MBA students apart from other graduate school partners. Sounds like a bad joke, I know (how many MBA partners does it take to screw in a light bulb…). You see, a friend of mine who already has her MBA told me that being the partner of an MBA student is probably one of the most bizarre worlds anyone could find herself (or himself) in. Each day I come to a little better understanding of this statement as curiouser and curiouser my world becomes.

Everyone told me that B wouldn’t be around once school started. I nodded my head in agreement, trying to let those words (and what they meant sink in). I should explain that for most of the last five years there has been very little time that B and I have been more than several hundred feet apart. We worked together. Then we lost our jobs together. Moved across the country together and now back again. In between we became even closer and even more united as a couple. It is what helped us survive the nay saying as those lovely rejection letters arrived – it’s important when everyone says you are crazy to have one person in the world who believes and stands behind you no matter what.

So now we are here. Each off on our own. No longer spending every minute of every day together. This certainly isn’t unique to the MBA partner. All grad school partners experience this on some level, along with all the other sacrifices made: moving away from friends and family, tightening belts, putting careers on hold, taking on even more responsibility on the home front, etc. Still there is something more in store for the MBA partner.

My first thought was that it was because we tend to be older, as most MBA programs require some work experience between undergrad and starting the MBA program. With age comes a certain understanding about the world. Let’s just say it becomes more difficult to put up with certain nonsense. But really it is more than that.

Truly what it boils down to is the fact that from the time the program starts, it essentially becomes an 18-month long job search. And probably one of the most important factors in reaching that goal is networking. There is a very social aspect to these programs, and it is not optional.

In addition to classes and study groups and individual class preparation, MBA candidates are required to meet on a regular basis with potential employers. The schools make a substantial effort to bring company representatives on campus to give students the opportunity to interact and learn and land that summer internship and ultimately the dream job. In between the students are expected to network with fellow classmates and find opportunities outside of what career services provides.

This is the differentiator. While it one thing to not see your partner because he (or she) is off studying at the library or meeting with a professor or attending lecture, it is completely another to not see your partner because he is say in Fiji or having dinner with his mentor or working a room. And of course it is highly unlikely for any of the other graduate program partners to have discussions about spending the summer in say Minnesota only a few weeks upon arriving in your new location as you look around at the unpacked boxes and want more than anything to feel settled where you are before you start thinking of the next stop in this journey.

At times you just want to scream, but don’t because you also want to be supportive. It is a fine line that we tread. And while efforts are made to include partners, the truth is that we sit out on the sidelines more often than not. And so there you are dealing with more craziness in a city that doesn’t feel like home, trying to find your way, having no idea where you will end up.

It makes sense that the partners joined forces and started these organizations to offer support, as who else would understand this madness. It wouldn’t surprise me at all though if it were the universities that had something to do with starting these groups too. Another part to that being older is that many of the partners have advanced degrees themselves (there is at least one doctor, lawyer and college professor among the group of partners I have met), and it seems that the universities do try and tap into that resource in terms of filling jobs on campus.

Of course joining the partner’s club can be its own Pandora’s box. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the opportunity. At times though I feel like I am back in high school. There can be a certain cliquey quality to it. And let’s face it; with fifty or more (mostly) women all finding themselves (and in many cases their youngsters too) in this predicament it can be a little chaotic at times. That only seems par for the course.

Rumor has it though that if I stick it out and make an effort, these days are the days that I will look back fondly upon. I, too, will leave here with a network of new and close friends. Opportunities are knocking, if I just listen and am willing to open the door. Stranger things have happened, to be sure.