not there yet

I am really surprised that I am not more panicky. I look around and keep seeing things that need to be done. Honestly I don't know why I didn't get more finished today.

I keep telling myself I can do this. It will be okay. But I guess I am tired of it. I don't know.

It doesn't help when I see things that I thought were finished, need to be redone. I "polished" the new fridge a few days ago. It came with this bottle of stuff that did an amazing job. Left it like it was new. Today I noticed a big smudge on the door. Oy!

The perfectionist in me is having a grand old time. Everywhere I look I see little tiny details that need to be tended to. I think it is because I am using my super judgmental eyes. I remember growing up and I would do something like clean the kitchen. My Mom would go over my work, and grab me by the arm and bring me to the counter and show me some speck of something that I had missed. It is weird the stuff the sticks with you.

I guess I am worried that even after everything I do, it won't matter. Something will be found that I have done wrong, and it will completely negate what I have done. Never good enough. Never right.

I have less than two days to pull this all together and make it work. I was reminded today that I need to be positive. I need to go in and not have expectations. This is my holiday too, and it is my job to have fun and enjoy it. If others don't want to, I can't make them.



on the night stand :: Cooking with All Things Trader Joe's