state of me
I think I am slowly withdrawing. And yet I see small steps of progress. For example, today I got up (without prodding) at a decent hour, and made breakfast before B went off to work.
I feel like I have nothing to say. Part of that, I am sure, is because I am so isolated.
I finished all the laundry today. But I still feel like I got nothing done.
I was proud of myself for not freaking out when I realized that the bottom of the new quiche pan was missing, but felt like something was wrong with me. How does something like this not come home from the store?
I want to read and write, but haven't made any progress on those fronts. I did do my morning pages (in the morning even).
I feel guilty. And lonely. And mostly just very lost.
on the night stand :: Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman
Labels: about me, nablopomo, nablopomo 2009, random, things you might not know
posted by Chris @ 8:47 PM
2 Comments:
I'm sorry you feel so alone. I wish we lived closer to each other. I have a tendancy to isolate myself, too, often to the point of agoraphobia. I don't know your circumstances well, whether you have friends in driving distance or not. But whether you visit a friend, volunteer somewhere, attend some kind of religious service or support group, or just go walk around a mall full of people, it's vital that you force yourself to get out and be around other people. It's the only way to break the cycle.
Hang in there. I wish we were closer (in distance not in hearts). It's getting to be the holiday season and I know it's hard for you. You're very often in my thoughts.
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