twenty-four hours to go

I am still not done, but two funny things did happen today. The first was at the post office.

I decided that I wanted to go to the post office. I may not get my Christmas cards in the mail by the 25th, but I wanted my friends to get their presents before then. So the first thing I did today was pack up the mail. I got three packages ready to go, and headed over to the post office. I got very lucky and snagged a prime parking spot. There was a bell ringer, acting as a doorman. When I heard his bell, I snagged two quarters from the ashtray and then locked the car doors with the packages still inside. So much for being efficient.

The line inside wasn't too bad. It ended at the inner door of the post office. While I was in line I noticed a woman who had moved to the side to fill out a form or something. She was done, but the postal worker was helping another person who had also stepped to the side to fix something. He told her he would be right with her.

When it was finally her turn, she handed him her forms and he asked her what she was mailing. What he meant was how she wanted to send her package. She pulled out another form and said this was the address she needed to send it to. It turned out she was mailing an American Express check for $44,000. She wanted to send it regular mail.

The guy behind the counter was beside himself. He explained that that was a large sum of money and the with regular mail, there was no way to track it, if it got lost. He strongly advised her to mail it certified or at least delivery confirmation. He went to the back to finish the transaction, and when he returned she was gone. Want to bet she just dropped that check in the mailbox?

Weird incident number two happened in the kitchen.

When I returned home, after redeeming our recycling check and grabbing lunch, I did the dishes. The disposal side was backing up, so I decided to run it. After a few seconds it started to make one of those noises you don't like to hear. I thought for sure another spoon had gotten stuck down there. I was quite stunned to find my sock!

I was not sure initially how my sock could have ended up in the garbage disposal. Someone suggested that the washing machine was backing up into the sink. The only thing is that the washing machine is clear across on the other side of the house. If that were the case, I probably shouldn't flush any of the toilets, or who knows what would happen.

I decided to pour all the liquor in the cabinets down the sink. I haven't been drinking. But B said I could toss the stuff since most of it has been sitting in that cupboard for a very long time.

That's when I figured out that I had recently pre-soaked some white laundry in a plastic tub in the sink. It had included a couple of pairs of my socks. I guess when I drained the tub, one of the socks went into the disposal. I am just glad I found it and not B's mother. Can you imagine? And this one time....



on the night stand :: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road

not there yet

I am really surprised that I am not more panicky. I look around and keep seeing things that need to be done. Honestly I don't know why I didn't get more finished today.

I keep telling myself I can do this. It will be okay. But I guess I am tired of it. I don't know.

It doesn't help when I see things that I thought were finished, need to be redone. I "polished" the new fridge a few days ago. It came with this bottle of stuff that did an amazing job. Left it like it was new. Today I noticed a big smudge on the door. Oy!

The perfectionist in me is having a grand old time. Everywhere I look I see little tiny details that need to be tended to. I think it is because I am using my super judgmental eyes. I remember growing up and I would do something like clean the kitchen. My Mom would go over my work, and grab me by the arm and bring me to the counter and show me some speck of something that I had missed. It is weird the stuff the sticks with you.

I guess I am worried that even after everything I do, it won't matter. Something will be found that I have done wrong, and it will completely negate what I have done. Never good enough. Never right.

I have less than two days to pull this all together and make it work. I was reminded today that I need to be positive. I need to go in and not have expectations. This is my holiday too, and it is my job to have fun and enjoy it. If others don't want to, I can't make them.



on the night stand :: Cooking with All Things Trader Joe's

and then there were three

I am down to the final three days. There is still much to do. All the little details.

Big event of today was cleaning the oven. Thrilling, I know. Oven cleaner has come a long way, but it still stinks. And because of the pouring rain, I could not open the windows. I only had these disposable gloves meant for keeping your hands clean when working with food. I think I changed them about ten times. Maybe because there were 500 of them in the box? It was like a surgical procedure. I am still not sure why they are there. I kept calling them OJ gloves, although they are not quite the same.

The dining room table is like excavating an archeology site, and the thing I have been avoiding. All these layers of the weeks and months gone by. Where does all this paper come from? The goal is to not get sidetracked by a find (like an address for those Christmas cards that might just become New Year's cards). At the same time it is hard not to get overwhelmed with where everything needs to go. I am trying not to micro-organize.

The linens are about finished. At least I think they are.

Friday is still going to be a make or break it day. Why didn't my alcoholic parents teach me to drink?! I am not sure how I am going to survive this sober.


on the night stand :: The Way We Work by David Macaulay

that is what it is all about

Four days to go! Made more progress, but probably still not enough where I won't be freaking out Friday night and yelling. At one point I went and crawled under the covers. That's when it hit me - I haven't seen, spoken, heard, touched, hugged, smelled, or felt my Mom in nearly ten years. That took a few minutes to recover from.

Yet here I am driving myself crazy, trying to get this house (that isn't mine) ready for the arrival of B's family. Today I spent the day washing the sheets and blankets while putting away things so that there isn't anything on any surface in this house. I also went out to Target and tried to find a replacement bulb for the one I broke. No luck. Came home with another string of lights, which turn out use less energy, but also are smaller than the other strands I bought. I put them on anyway. Somehow I spent $75 so I could use a coupon I had for $5 off. I feel like such a sucker.

I think part of what is going on with me is that I am becoming one of those people who dreads the holidays. There are all these messages telling us that the holidays are a time to spend with your family. Well, what do you do when you don't have a family? Feel like a total loser.

It doesn't help that watching B's family interact (or lack thereof) with one another makes me want to scream. The last time they were here, they couldn't get it together to come to the table at the same time and share a meal. It made me want to smash something (typically my head into a wall). The worst was when they asked me to make dinner for them, and then wouldn't eat with us.

B's sister, who is only a year younger than B, seems to regress to a teenager with serious emo issues when she is here. If she isn't off with her parents, then she is in her room. B has tried invited her out with us, but she turns him down. She doesn't drive when she is here, so that does make her a bit of a hostage. There really isn't much within walking distance of interest from the house. I feel for her, but am at a loss. It also tears me to bits to watch, having lost my sister.

B's other sister, also younger, will be added into the mix this time around, along with her husband. Last time we saw them was at B's graduation. It was pretty clear his sister didn't want to be there. She wore jeans and a zipper down fleece. When B introduced her around, people didn't believe she also had an MBA from a top ten school, and worked for one of the most prestigious firms on Wall Street. Again, truly bizarre behavior. I almost asked her if the airlines lost her luggage, because that was the only explanation that made any sense.

And as if all of that is not interesting enough, B's almost 5-year old nephew will be joining us too. His not quite 2-year old brother, will not. I don't know why beyond the fact that he is with his paternal grandparents, 6000 miles away. We originally thought the reason for this trip was to reunite the child with his parents (being brought back by his maternal grandparents), but we guessed wrong.

In other news, B asked about Christmas dinner, and got a reply from his mother. Apparently she is busy doing stuff that needs to be done before they leave, and hadn't really given it much thought. She said that she would like to have it here and that perhaps her brother and his family would join us. Of course she didn't say if she wanted to have said dinner on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. She also left the menu up to us.

It is a start. But B couldn't get ahold of his Uncle today to see what his plans were. We were thinking of doing it Christmas Eve so that we could do what we usually do on Christmas - go to the movies and eat Chinese food.

So how do I keep it together when all I will probably want to do is go somewhere and cry? And when will I find time to clean the oven, finish the Christmas cards, and wash all the linens?




on the night stand :: Paper Towns by John Green

five days to go

Now would NOT be a good time for a panic attack, but I feel panicking. B found hooks for the ornaments at K-Mart - from the Martha Stewart collection no less. Two packs for a buck. Simple and in two sizes. Of course while he was out, I decided to move the string of lights around. In the process a red one got smashed. I cleaned up the glass, but now need to find a replacement bulb if I want to light the extra lights. Ugh!! Why didn't I buy replacements when I was out last night?! I feel so stupid, and like I am seriously losing this game.

The laundry has caught up to me as well. I thought this would be a week to do the sheets, but forgot we brought back two bags of laundry from San Diego. The real issue is the rain. The house feels damp, meaning the clothes that I line dry will take twice as long.

Meanwhile, I still have not gotten the kitchen entirely under control. We really just need to stop eating. I think it is in better shape than I give myself credit for, but there is still work to be done. Remember, every surface of every counter must be empty, or the things on it will get moved into places I would never even think of looking.

I am not sure if I should focus on a room until it is done, or go about in the way that I have been. The scary part of the way I have been going is that it looks like nothing will ever get done, and I get a bit freaked out. It is still doable. I know I can get everything done. I just need to focus and be like a Nike commercial and Do it!



on the night stand :: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

it is beginning to look like christmas

We got a tree today! This is a huge deal. Aside from an ornament tree, in the 20 years we have known each other, this is our first tree. It is 6.5 feet tall, artificial and pre-lit. We got the floor model, half price, at Lowe's. It has a bit of Charlie Brown flair to it.

Growing up, once we moved to California, it was rare that we had a Christmas tree. This broke my heart in ways I can't explain. My paternal grandmother loved Christmas. She has a 9' tall tree in her living room. She often left it up until Easter. She had boxes of ornaments and a little village that went around the bottom of the tree.

One year my Mom's on and off live-in boyfriend, affectionately known as Bozo, decided we could get a tree. I think this may have been because the previous year, I managed to get a tree on my own. Our classroom had a tree, and I asked if I could have it when I realized it would just be tossed before we left for the holiday break. I even convinced the mother who had donated it to drive it to our house.

Bozo decided the tree we got should be real, and we should chop it down ourselves. I decided I wanted the "perfect" tree, and we went to three Christmas tree farms before I was coerced into agreeing I had indeed found the "perfect" tree. Then my sister and I each took a handle of the saw and tried to cut it down, sawing back and forth. Honestly, I was lucky Bozo didn't take an axe to me. We didn't have the strength to actually complete the tree cutting, and in the end, he had to step in. We got it home, but didn't have any decorations.

We did get him to agree to buy three strands of lights. It really wasn't enough. And I don't remember what else we found to put on the tree, but it was perfect.

Now all I need to do is find ornament hooks. Didn't they used to sell these at the check out aisles? Now it is all gift cards and candy. Witnessed a woman buy over $1000 worth of gift cards at the grocery store tonight. She said she was giving them as presents at a party she was having.


on the night stand :: The Lump of Coal by Lemony Snicket

one week to go

A week from now, the insanity officially begins. We spent the last two days in San Diego. Work commitments gave us the opportunity to get away. Unfortunately we ended up in a room next to some serious partying. They didn't call it a night until the wee hours of the morning. I almost called the front desk around 1am, but feared that might escalate things. It was a bit of a bummer. It is a nice hotel.

Overall though we had a good time. Practically had the hotel restaurant to ourselves on Thursday night. Loved that they served tea from Forte. It also showed up on our breakfast tray.

I made some progress on the holiday cards. Made a list. Got most addressed. Still need to look up a bunch of addresses though. I forgot how much work this is. I complain, but I truly do love sending these cards.

Another highlight of the short trip was finally getting to meet a friend's baby girl. She is now 7 months old, and born exactly a year after another friend's son. The last time we were in town we were at the baby shower! San Diego really isn't that far from Los Angeles.

Per usual, we overpacked. We had computers and library books. The staff helped us out with our stuff. In the confusion, the bag with the cows got put in the trunk! I had driven about a mile when I realized they were not in the back seat. I pulled the car over to a yellow zone, and B got out, stepping in a puddle, and moved them. Yes, we really did.


on the night stand :: The Story of a Marriage

box kicking

Remember those puzzles where you had to move tiles around so that all the numbers were in order? I loved them as a kid. Today I realized cleaning this house is a bit like one of those puzzles - you keep moving things around until everything finds its space.

The big moment today was cleaning out one of the drawers in the kitchen and moving the tin foil and such from the cabinet into said drawer. Suddenly there was room for the glasses and the bowls. It was like getting 1 through 4 in order.

Tonight I had B put the replacement panel in the light fixture in the kitchen. A few months ago it just fell out for no apparent reason. Crash onto the floor it went. Thankfully no one was in the kitchen at the time. We bought a replacement, but never put it up.

The other thing we seem to never get around to doing is tearing the boxes down for recycling. Sometimes I think it is easier to do a bunch of them at once. It is certainly satisfying to jump on them to further flatten them. I definitely kicked some boxes tonight.

I am now officially at the midpoint. I have ten days left. Progress has definitely been made, but there is still lots to do. I am officially caught up with the laundry, but know that a chunk of next week will be spent washing bed linens. Can't wait. Somewhere in there I need to write holiday cards and put up a tree (we still need to get). I found my Mrs. Meyer's Gingerbread spray and so at least it is starting to smell like Christmas.

We had leftovers for dinner tonight. That made things easier. Next week will definitely be about easy to clean up meals for sure. Maybe PB&J?


on the night stand :: A Penguin Story by Antoinette Portis

naked and starving

Today it dawned on me - if we just don't eat or wear clothes for the next 11 days I am absolutely sure I could get everything I need to do finished. Of course hunger might make it hard. And cleaning the shower naked is one thing, cleaning the oven without any clothes on is probably not a bright idea.

It is true though that I do spend a great deal of my time on the dishes and the laundry. Part of the problem is that they really can't be done at the same time. The water system in this house is weird. I think it has something to do with how the sprinkler system was installed. When the grass is being watered, you can't do anything involving water - especially not shower.

Speaking of the shower - well the tub, really - I awoke to find a large black fuzzy spider sitting in my sparkling white freshly bleached tub. I, of course, was sitting on the toilet at the time. My first instinct was to scream like Little Miss Muffet. Instead I went downstairs and had some oatmeal. Secretly I hope the Three Bears show up and eat me.

When I got the nerve to go back upstairs later in the afternoon, the spider was gone. My plan was to drowned it. I really didn't want to clean spider guts from the tub. Now I am really freaked out because I know it isn't really gone. And when I have to use that tub to take a shower in less than two weeks, I will be anxious the whole time, thinking about a big fuzzy spider coming to get me while I stand there naked with shampoo on my head. At least it will force me to be quick. I am sure B's parents feel I spend too much time (and water) in the shower.

When I look around I see bits of progress. Yet I know there is still much to do. There are dishes being cleaned in the dishwasher. Practically the same ones I used earlier in the day. There is also a load of laundry to hang, and another to fold. B is stuck in traffic, so I guess I should go do that after I check on dinner in the oven.

p.s. This week's holiday single on iTunes is Faith Hill's version of O Holy Night. It's free this week only. Go download it.

on the night stand :: 2009 Flowers Calendar by Smith & Hawken

the nightmares begin

I woke up in the wee hours screaming. I don't remember much about the dream nightmare except that all of the stuff in the house was suddenly being sucked down the staircase. The weird part is that I knew it was going to happen, but then I forgot, so I was taken aback when I realized what was going on. I remember seeing a king size comforter go flying down the hallway and get sucked into the staircase. That's when I started screaming "Oh my God!" and woke up (the house). It took me a bit to get back to sleep.

I did make some progress today though. I started in the upstairs bathroom. Despite that the tub hasn't been used, it looks like it belongs in a Frat House. It is hard to believe all that dirt comes flying through such a tiny window. Then again, this is LA County. It looks like the grout is breaking away. More fun.

Would have made more progress on the laundry had the stains not been so stubborn. And with the change in the weather, things are taking longer to air dry. Might have to put the drying rack outside.

It is getting to the point where there are piles of things to go through and find a space for. It looks like a giant step backwards, but it is usually what causes the big progress to occur - the darkness before the light.

Still the list keeps growing and I am now down to 12 days to get it all done. Meanwhile, here are some cool things to check out:

Amazon's 25 free Holiday songs: download a free MP3 every day until Christmas. You can get the earlier ones if you missed them.




on the night stand :: Chester's Back by Melanie Watt

weekend was a bust

I feel like I am treading water. It isn't that we didn't get stuff done this weekend - we did - just not around the house. We did get some shopping done.

Today was the grocery store. We saved about $30 on $100 worth of groceries thanks to our Ralph's card coupons. We had about four pages of coupons and we spent some time in the aisles trying to figure out which ones to use. For example we had coupons for $1.00 off fresh vegetables when you bought either three or four dollars worth. I am sure anyone watching was laughing at our debates, especially in the toilet paper aisle. Why does that have to be so confusing? We determined that the dollar 4-packs were not the deal. Best deal was 5-pound sack of russet potatoes for 75 cents.

Saturday we had a fun day shopping. We found something for the nephew that is living 9000 miles from his parents. We even figured out a way to get said present to him - hopefully even by Christmas day. I guess that is progress. I hadn't thought about it when we bought said present, but leaving it here could have caused all sorts of problems. Would the parents take it back to New York or would the grandparents take it back with them? Give me bonus points for avoiding that scenario.

We also found this amazing little restaurant. It's called Pie 'N Burger. We were actually hoping to go for breakfast, but arrived about 15 minutes too late. As the review promised, it is a bit reminiscent of The Apple Pan. It certainly has the counter and similar service. I'd say it reminds me a little of the recently closed Walkers of Albany California. We got a slice of cherry pie to go. Oh my - pie!

The list keeps growing, and it looks like I am going to lose a couple of days to a side trip to San Diego. Probably need to make myself sparse around the Internet for a day or three. I can get this done.


on the night stand :: Olivia Helps with Christmas by Ian Falconer

today i got nothing done

My feet hurt. The kitchen is an ongoing train wreck. Why does every dish I make seem to require a load of dishes? And why can't I find the Muppets' Christmas CD?

on the night stand :: I'd Really Like to Eat a Child

today in numbers

One - the number of books that were delivered to my door.

Two - loads of laundry done.

Three - number of Starbucks we visited to find one open past 10pm.

Four - glasses of water I drank.

Five - Mentos I snacked on.

Six - bottles of Goose Island grape soda purchased (at Target).

Seven - items purchased not on shopping list (bath mat, magic erasers, soda, peppermint patties, toy & 2 corn flake bars)

Eight - items on my shopping list (clorox 2, bandaides, cotton pads, napkins, oven cleaner, toilet bowl cleaner & trash bags)

Nine - pairs of panties hung to dry.

Ten - boxes I crushed.

Eleven - canned goods added to the food drive bag.

Twelve - maximum foot Christmas tree we considered.

Thirteen - pairs of socks I matched.

Fourteen -towels I folded.

Fifteen - number of days I have remaining to get everything done.


on the night stand :: Reality Check by Guy Kawasaki

what do you see

Over the summer we made cherry pie from scratch. We pitted two pounds of bing cherries with a cherry pitter - the kind that pits one at a time. It was a tedious task, but the results were worth it. That was one delicious pie. Above is what was left of the cherries - a bowl of pits or a future grove of cherry trees.

I am still not quite to seeing those cherry trees in that bowl. I still see the pits. As I look at the calendar, and see the days passing, I am getting anxious. My list of things I need to do seems to be growing while the minutes somehow pass by more quickly.

In a mere three weeks, Christmas 2008 will be a memory. It is amazing to think of all the things people will do between now and then to prepare and celebrate. From baking cookies to cleaning the dishes and dirty pans after the big Christmas dinner. In between there are trips to the post office and the grocery store. Gifts need to be wrapped, trees need to be decorated, cards need to be addressed.

I did make some progress today. The laundry feels more under control, as well as the dishes. The recycling can is full and at the curb. The plastic bags have been gathered to be recycled at the next food shopping trip. Dinner was made from things in the freezer, fridge and cupboard. We will have spent under $40 this week to feed ourselves. I have two bags ready to take to Vromans bookstore this weekend for their food drive.


on the night stand :: To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

mixed messages

Maybe it is just me, but it seems everywhere I turn, there are mixed messages. The other day I mailed a package at the post office. The line was to the door. This location has a machine that will let you weigh a package, and buy the postage. You can even add insurance or delivery confirmation. You can pay by credit card or cash, and it spits out a label. The idea is that you put the label on the package, and drop it in the box next to the machine. There is just one catch - because of heightened security, you cannot place anything over 13 ounces in said mailbox. Major fail.

I decided to go ahead and use the machine, even though my package was almost six pounds. I then walked it over to the counter and dropped it off, after applying the label. Of course it doesn't tell you this on the sign warning you not to put packages in the mailbox. In fact, as you go through the process of preparing your package for shipping it specifically asks you if your package will fit into the mailbox. Also it doesn't tell you not to deposit your package, despite knowing that it is larger than the guidelines stated. My package has safely arrived, so I guess we can move on.

When I took advantage of a Cyber Monday sale offering 25% off my order, I received an additional email with my order confirmation inviting me to a special sale. What? Didn't I just buy something from your sale?

I clicked out of curiosity. I ended up on a page with about a dozen items. These were basically the clearance rack. The really weird part is that this 'special sale' only gave me 20% off. Again - fail.

The mixed messages happened again last night when I published my post. The landing page said, "Your Post Published with Errors." And right below it said, "Your Post Published Successfully." So which was it? Did it have errors, or was it okay. Clearly it wasn't clear. Thankfully after waiting a few moments, it refreshed automatically and said that my post was okay. Still it was a bit disconcerting.

Maybe I am just more aware of these mixed messages because I know that I am going to be bombarded with them once B's family arrives. Personally, it drives me a bit batty.

I am down to 17 days. Crossed a few more items off the list. And also came upon a road block, which I could use to motivate me. We shall see.

on the night stand :: The Girl Who Stopped Swimming by Joshilyn Jackson

i made a list

And I think I can check one item off as done. My list is over three pages long, and growing. How ever am I going to get this all done over the next eighteen days?!

The dishes seem to be one of my pitfalls. It feels like I keep washing the same dishes over and over again. Part of my problem is that I am cooking things that while not extremely difficult, do take a bit of effort, and lots of pots, pans, and bowls. Ugh.

Tonight, for example, I made corn pudding. It is a souffle, but it isn't hard. It does take a pot, a bowl, the Cuisinart, and the souffle dish though. I served that with leftover roast pork from Thanksgiving. It leaked all over the bottom of the oven and made a lovely black stain. I knew I had to clean the oven again, but grrr!

Progress today included finding a place to drop off the extra canned goods I need to clean out of the cupboards. I have until this weekend. Then I can head over to Vromans bookstore to drop them off. They are collecting food all weekend at their locations. That's one less thing to worry about.

Why am I cleaning out the cupboards? Well, we are in a recession, and people who were once donors, are not clients of many food banks around the country. But truly it is because B's parents, his father in particular, gets really upset if there is more than one of the same thing in the cupboard. He spent one morning cleaning out the cupboards and got ballistic over two boxes of brown sugar and three kinds of flour. It was insane.


on the night stand :: Grumpy Bird by Jeremy Tankard

nineteen days

It's sounds like a long time, but really it isn't. Nineteen days is the amount of time I have to get this house back in order. The time I have left to mentally prepare myself for the arrival. To convince B that we should just head north or east. Be anywhere but here for the holidays. All we need is an Internet connection.

I have a list in my head of all that needs to be done. I need to commit it to paper. I have been so anxious, I just haven't been able to let myself do that.

I also need to prepare for Christmas. I promised myself I would get my cards out on time this year. I have the blanks. My address book is a mess though. And of course I need something to go on the front. That's the hard part.

There is also the question of the tree. This has been a big issue with me and B for years. When we thought B's nephews were coming for Christmas, it seemed like a no brainer. Now, it seems like something I could be judged for as being frivolous or taking over a house that isn't mine. Of course it didn't stop me from bringing home three reindeer ornaments from Starbucks today. I have this idea in my head of having a Twitter themed tree. Very high brow. No one would get it.

And of course there are thoughts of what happens once they arrive. I am a planner by nature. For better or worse, I like to know what is going to happen. I think this is what is driving me crazy. Although this is major progress - getting almost a months notice - we still know little about their plans. So the question remains do we just plan as if they weren't here, or do we keep our calendar open? Either way, I think we are screwed.

Today's progress included taking in the recycling, which required going to two centers. The first was not accepting glass. I also got some tips on taking a preschooler to Disneyland. I apparently need to get bandaides.

Nineteen days is roughly 456 hours or 27,360 minutes. Nineteen days is less time than they will be here.

It's really a pity I don't drink.


on the night stand :: More Information Than You Require by John Hodgeman