the day of the dead

Today is Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos. It is celebrated in Mexico, and other Spanish speaking countries. It is not a day or mourning, but rather a day of celebration. Alters are made and favorite foods are put out to invite the dead to join in the party. Some people visit the cemetery and have picnics at the graves of their family. I have heard of it, known friends who honor this day, although never celebrated it personally.

I was reminded about it again, while listening to this piece on NPR, call Witnessing the Election for Those Who Can't. At the end the reporter asked who you would spend the day with (of your dead family or friends), and what would you talk about. A good question, but a tough one.

A few nights back I had a dream. There were many parts to it, some a bit bizarre, most I don't remember, but it ended in a most beautiful way. I was with my Mom and we were literally among the stars. There weren't words for how beautiful it was or how peaceful.

The truth is I have never been to my Mother's grave. Well, that is not entirely true. My Mother is buried with her mother, and I have memories of visiting her grave growing up. When we did visit, I remember my Mom saying that she didn't believe in leaving flowers. She found it a way of dealing with guilt. She once took a photograph of her mother's grave with flowers on it (likely left by one of her siblings or father), and called it "Guilt".

I have been told that my sister is also buried in the same plot. I know that my grandfather, and his second wife are buried there. I imagine all of them together for eternity. My grandmother, mother and sister all have the same name. My sister named for our grandmother who died before she was born; my mother for her grandmother, who reportedly also died before her birth; and so on. This supposedly goes back seven generations. I don't know for sure. I imagine that would be an interesting group to hang with forever. While my Mom adored her mother, she had mixed feelings about her father. She disowned my sister when she was 15, and they were in the process of reconciling, when my Mom died. My sister died a few years later. And then of course there is my Aunt Hazel, aka my grandfather's second wife. Can't imagine how that would work out in the afterlife.

I suppose if I had to narrow it down, I would want to spend the day with my Mom. I'd bring hot dogs and cheesecake. I am not sure exactly what we would talk about, but I doubt politics would be the key focus. I'd just want to be with my Mom and experience that mother/daughter bond again.



on the night stand :: Free to Be You and Me - 35th anniversary edition