day without food or day without a home

canon digital rebel xsi

This is the question I pose today: Would you rather go a day without eating or a spend a day on the streets?

I ask because as the holiday season is ramping up to full speed ahead, this is the time of year many people give to their local food banks. And while that is great, what I have become painfully aware that we often feed people, only to send them to the streets to sleep. And while there are many food and clothing drives, I have never heard of a housing drive for the homeless.

So again I ponder the question, which is would be more difficult? Certainly it is true that if you go without proper nutrition for long enough, it will kill you. But so can life on the streets, even with adequate food.

Going for a day without food would affect your body, mind, and spirit. Your stomach would grumble. You might also feel tired and even cranky. Your blood sugar would drop. You might feel dizzy. All of your energy would be focused on when you might get your next meal. You definitely would not be at your best.

Putting you on the street, would do something entirely different. It might feel like the rug had been pulled out from under you. That your safety net was gone. You might feel alone, not to mention frightened. Your body might feel cold as the temperature dropped after the sun set. Your mind might race as you tried to find somewhere safe, or thought of all the possible things that could happen if you let yourself close your eyes and drift off to sleep. You would probably end up feeling tired and maybe even dizzy. As for your spirit, it might be broken, or at least a bit drained, depending on what you saw during your time on the streets. It is hard to say.

I was fortunate that we never went hungry when I was growing up. There were some close calls. I remember one period where my Mom made a pot of spaghetti sauce that she had added too much red pepper flake, last well over a week. There were other times when the cupboards were pretty bare or we made some strange things with what we had on hand, but we never were without food.

The closest we came to homelessness was the night we fled from our father. We drove across California all night. We arrived in Los Angeles in the morning, but by evening had a roof over our heads.

When B and I came back to California the second time, we were living in an extended stay for a while, on and off. When we would change locations, we would usually need to be out by noon, but couldn't check into our next hotel until mid-afternoon. Those few hours left me feeling woozy. I would worry about all sorts of things. All of our stuff was packed in the car - would someone try to steal it? It is hard to explain, but I would feel off kilter. I would often snap at B for no apparent reason. I know it is not the same. I only mention this because I imagine actually being on the street so much worse, and cannot even imagine.

I stumbled upon SLO Homeless' blog today. He posted today about how we need to work as a community to make sure the homeless have access to a rod and reel, so they can leave homeless behind. I think he is onto to something.

I also don't want you to think I am saying helping the homeless around the holidays is a bad thing - it isn't. You can leave a comment on this post, and $10 will be donated to Second Harvest Food Bank. Land' End is also accepting gently used coats until November 30. So far they have collected over 8,000 coats!


on the night stand :: Juliet, Naked by Nick Horby.

gratitude

canon digital rebel xsi

With Thanksgiving coming, many people are counting down November with daily gratitude lists. That puts me ten days behind. So here are ten things I am thankful for, in no particular order:

• My husband.


• My friends.


• Monster sheets - they keep me safe while I sleep.


• Plans for Thanksgiving. Yay for new traditions.


• A clean kitchen.


• The music of Danny Elfman. [Listened to the soundtrack from The Nightmare Before Christmas today - it was magical.]


• Morning pages.


• Eighty degree weather in November. It was gorgeous today with the windows open.


• Fresh, sweet raspberries. It's like tasting summer.


• My iBook - it keeps me connected.

on the night stand :: You Better Not Cry by Augusten Burroughs.

thanksgiving countdown

canon digital rebel xsi

Thanksgiving (in the US) is exactly three weeks away! We have decided to host this year, as I have had enough of driving turkeys across the San Gabriel Valley. Last year was so bizarre, I just can't do it again. While I understand B's Uncle's family was going through something, we had no idea until after the fact. Note to all: It isn't a good idea to invite people to your house for a holiday if you are not up to it. Really, we would have understood. What we didn't understand was showing up at the appointed time to what seemed to be an empty house. Standing in the driveway, holding a cooked 22-pound Butterball, is not my idea of a good time. So this year we start new traditions.

I have the menu planned: turkey with my grandmother's stuffing, cranberry walnut sauce, green bean casserole, yams, corn pudding, mashed potatoes, gravy, and popovers. Thank goodness this house has two ovens!! Dessert is still a bit undecided. Leaning towards an apple pie and a chocolate pecan (aka brownie) pie - might as well use both pie plates.

I have also started putting bread in the freezer for the stuffing. We ended up with four extra hot dog rolls from Trader Joes (after a World Series craving), so those are in there. I am also baking bread this week, so plan on putting some of that in the stuffing too. It really is the mixing of odds and ends that is the secret to making the stuffing so tasty.

We received some great coupons in the mail yesterday from Ralph's (essentially a $7 credit - thank you very much), so will go there and get the non-perishable items soon. The cranberry sauce recipe calls for red currant jam, which can be a challenge to find.

I should start pulling out recipes and making lists. Organization is the key to a successful Thanksgiving meal. Getting everything (and everyone) to the table at the same time is truly an art form.



on the night stand :: Big Sur Bakery Cookbook

the not lost recipes

The house smells like lemon zest, cinnamon and fresh thyme. All with undertones of butter and apples. If there were a perfume called Thanksgiving , this is what it would smell like. Why anyone would wear it, is a whole other matter.

Somehow focusing on the cooking helped me to calm down. Remembering that my grandmother went through all the trouble of making that stuffing every year, even though she didn't like it herself. Thinking of how my father (if he still breathes) probably misses his mother's cooking. Does he even know that I know how to recreate her dish? He would probably fall over and die if he knew I could make Great Aunt Margie's potato salad.

My Great Aunt Margie was actually my mother's aunt. She was my mother's father's sister. But she lived upstairs from my paternal grandmother (of the stuffing) for many years with her husband until they all in rather quick succession passed away. While she lived there, she was always cooking, even though the attic apartment didn't have much of a kitchen. She would send down potato salad in the late summer evenings, and by morning, it would be gone.

I remember coming home one summer and telling my Mom about the potato salad. My Mom remembered it from her childhood. She told me that the next summer, I would need to learn how to make it. And the next summer I did just that. I sat and watched my Great Aunt work her magic. That is another of those recipes that can't really be written down. It is a little of this, and a little of that. Plus there is just so much love that goes into it, that you can't just copy it.

They had some amazing looking red potatoes at Whole Foods. As I was picking out sweet potatoes, we talked about making my Aunt Margie's world famous potato salad instead of mashed potatoes. But mashed potatoes just seem essential to the Thanksgiving menu. Maybe for Christmas. Although it would be perfect with a turkey sandwich.

The turkey sandwich started with my Mother. She would buy Kaiser rolls with poppy seeds from a local Jewish deli and save them just for this purpose. Around 10pm on Thanksgiving night, she would go out into the kitchen (which was usually still looking like a disaster area) and start making a sandwich. She would grab out the Hellman's and layer on turkey and cranberry sauce, and a little bit of stuffing, which was warmed up a bit in the microwave. Sometimes we would share it; sometimes she would make me my own. She always said that a sandwich always tasted better when someone else made it just for you. That is so true.

on the night stand :: Martha Stewart Living Cookbook : The New Classics

giving thanks

I can't believe that Thanksgiving (in the US) is exactly a week away. While many couples have great debates over which family to spend the holidays with, we have quite a different problem. We have the whole two turkeys in the freezer and no guest problem.

When we have been in LA, we have usually gone to B's uncle's house to celebrate Thanksgiving. Last year that turkey got around. B's uncle insisted on buying the turkey, but since their home was in final remodeling I agreed to cook it and transport it to their home on the other side of the valley. So the turkey was driven from one end of the valley, defrosted, cooked, and then driven back again.

All of that wouldn't have been so bad, but there were clearly some issues going on in the home. We think it had something to do with one of B's cousins. He wasn't at dinner and our inquiries about him were ignored. There was just an air about the place. It made the whole day, which was already uncomfortable, even more so. We were the only guests and shortly after dinner it was just the three of us (B, me and their dog).

This year it has been hard to make plans as everything has been up in the air for so long. It has been impossible to see much beyond the day, let alone weeks in advance. Meanwhile, I have been pushing myself away from people because this situation has just been too hard to explain. Everything has just felt so out of control that I haven't wanted to inflict myself on others. And thus I now have two 18-pound turkeys in the freezer and no plans.

This is one of the things I truly suck at - inviting people to do something. Like most people, I don't like rejection. But I am sure there are other issues at work there as well.

At this point, I would be surprised if anyone I knew in the area didn't have plans. And I also don't want to make it look like I am fishing for an invite. At the same time what does this say about me. Yikes!

The holidays are hard when you don't have family. They are hard when you do too. I don't miss the craziness of that. I am trying to be thankful for the craziness of this. I think we need to figure out new traditions.


on the night stand :: Everyday Sacred