a week of giving thanks pt 5

It's Buy Nothing Day. A day to say no to consumerism. In the US it falls on the Friday after Thanksgiving, also known as Black Friday. This is a day when stores lure customers in with promises of deep discounts earlier and earlier. This year many stores opened at 9pm on Thanksgiving Day. Others opened as early as 4am Friday morning. Who wants to shop at that hour? Again people lined up for hours to ensure they could take advantage of the best deals. Think a day like this isn't important?

In a Wal*Mart in Long Island, New York, a group of shoppers mobbed the front door at 5am and trampled a worker. The man died. Others were injured and taken to local hospitals. Among these was a pregnant woman. Reportedly angry shoppers refused to leave the store when employees explained the situation.

In a Toys-R-Us in California, two men pulled guns on each other. They both died. A statement released from the company said that it is unfair to characterize this incident with Black Friday, as the men knew each other. It still remains unclear exactly what caused the dispute. Does make you wonder though how many of your fellow shoppers might be packing heat?

So, what did you buy today? Here are some ideas for taking back the holidays.

If you were not successful, remember that Buy Nothing Day is observed internationally this year on Saturday, November 29, 2008. You get a second chance to buy nothing.

on the night stand :: Annie Leibovitz at Work by Annie Leibovitz

a week of giving thanks pt 4

Today is Thanksgiving in the US. I feel like everyone is in on a secret except for me. We arrived at B's Uncle's at the agreed upon time. We stood there for a few minutes carrying the food we had promised to bring. B rang the doorbell twice. No one answered. The dog didn't even bark. For a moment I thought we had missed something.

Thankfully B's cousin pulled up in his car. He had been out at the store. His parents were upstairs. Napping? Still there were indications that they really weren't into this. His cousin had his girlfriend and her friend over (the three of them went up to his bedroom to check out his new 40" TV). Maybe it was that. Or that their other two grown children couldn't make it home? It was weird. We were home by 6:30pm.

Overall it turned out well, but there was just something in the air. No one talks about anything in their family, so who knows what is going on.

Still, I try and remain grateful, especially for B and those I am fortunate enough to call my friends.


on the night stand :: The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick

a week of giving thanks pt 3

Today I made the pie - chocolate pecan. Tomorrow it's the turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes. Even though I am anxious, I remain grateful:

I have some place to go: It may not be my own family, and I may have been manipulated into making dinner, but being alone on the holidays is even less fun. In years past, I have invited the 'misfits' to join us. This was something my mother did, as she understood, as I now do, what it is like to be without family on the holidays.

Twitter: It is my latest addiction, but it keeps me connected to those I know, as well as has introduced me to new people.

Chocolate: It is my favorite fruit. :) Few things are better than chocolate. It makes life sweeter.

That I can cook: This is one of my gifts. It reminds me of those I love and miss as well as is a way for me to connect with others. I am glad I was taught to cook.

Music: I can't imagine the world without music. I need to remember to listen to some as I prepare the turkey tomorrow.

My thoughts and prayers go out to those impacted by the incidents in Mumbai today. It is hard to imagine what could bring someone to do such horrifying thing.


on the night stand :: Are You Ready to Play Outside?

a week of giving thanks part 2

Today I am thankful for cranberry sauce, not from a can. This is my favorite. It makes the house smell like Thanksgiving (and Christmas).

Cranberry Walnut Sauce^*
1 pound of fresh cranberries, washed and picked over
1 cup water
1 1/4 cup sugar
1 12 oz jar of red currant preserves (black current is fine, jelly works too)
1 cup chopped walnuts
zest of one orange

Combine cranberries, water, sugar and preserves in a large pot. Cook over medium heat until you hear them 'pop', then reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes. Skim off the foam from the top (although I don't see much of a difference if you don't).

Remove from heat and add walnuts and orange zest. Stir to combine. Let cool and put in airtight container and refrigerate overnight.

It's so tasty (and easy) you will probably want to make two batches. Besides, it is great on sandwiches. Don't be surprised if it just disappears. I always joke that you may need to check your guests bags before they leave.

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^*From Martha Stewart Cookbook, 1995


on the night stand ::The Thing About Life is that One Day You'll Be Dead by David Shields

a week of giving thanks part 1

This week Americans celebrate Thanksgiving Day. It is a relatively new holiday, only officially declared official in 1941. What was meant to celebrate the great bounty we have in this country has become two days of overindulgence in eating, watching football, and shopping.

With that in mind, I will spend this week focusing on what I truly appreciate, and sometimes take for granted (in no particular order):

The roof over my head: It may not be mine, and I may complain about it, but I know that we are truly blessed to have it. It is helping us do things we otherwise would not be able to do.

My library card: It has given me the opportunity to read many great books this year. Plus it is a quiet space with free WIFI.

My iPhone: I joke that it makes my bed and walks the dog (which I don't have), but truly it is an amazing little gadget. Recently it helped save us $20 at Whole Foods. Can't beat that. It also connects me to people and helps me find information. Need to learn to use more of its features.

In house laundry!: I truly feel the pain of anyone who has to use a Laundromat. It isn't fun, even if you can get a week's worth of laundry done in under two hours. The ones in this house may be 25-years old, but they work. Heck I didn't even complain when I cleaned out the mold under the fabric softener cup.

My digital SLR: It takes awesome photographs. It even has live-view. I need to use it more.

on the night stand :: My Mistress's Sparrow is Dead by Jeffrey Eugenides

thanksgiving is the fourth thursday in november

I didn't do it. I just couldn't bring myself to cook the turkey today. Perhaps I am more of a traditionalist that I will admit. But that is entirely it either.

If I am going to admit something, then I should confess that I feel like I am drowning. And this really makes no sense as I really have no pressure being put on me, beyond the pressure I put on myself, of course.

There will be no family or friends coming to dinner tomorrow. There is no one to impress or worry about. This should be easy, but it isn't.

I hate to say it, but I think I am becoming one of those people who hates the holidays. I hate that they remind me of my losses, and what I will never have. Of course some will argue that I never had it to begin with, and really I should just get over myself already.

But when at every turn it seems there are images and sounds telling you how things should be and they aren't, tell me it wouldn't drive you mad. And yes, a part of me is very, very angry, although I am talking more about madness in that last sentence than anger.

That first Thanksgiving after my mom died, as crazy as it sounds, I kept hoping the phone would ring. My logical side knew that it would never happen, but that hopeful part held out and kept thinking that nothing is impossible.

This grief will never go away. I get that. But it seems to build at this time of the year. It reminds me of the abomination of my family and mocks me. You see, one of my big issues was that I never felt wanted and now somehow here I am without them. And the lingering question of why does battle with me every day.

Tomorrow I will get up and make a turkey. The stuffing is my grandmother's recipe. One that was never written down, and could only be learned by watching and practice. I will reflect on all that I am grateful for as I busy myself in the kitchen, and try not to let this grief get the better of me.






on the night stand :: Martha Stewart Living Cookbook : The Original Classics

giving thanks

I can't believe that Thanksgiving (in the US) is exactly a week away. While many couples have great debates over which family to spend the holidays with, we have quite a different problem. We have the whole two turkeys in the freezer and no guest problem.

When we have been in LA, we have usually gone to B's uncle's house to celebrate Thanksgiving. Last year that turkey got around. B's uncle insisted on buying the turkey, but since their home was in final remodeling I agreed to cook it and transport it to their home on the other side of the valley. So the turkey was driven from one end of the valley, defrosted, cooked, and then driven back again.

All of that wouldn't have been so bad, but there were clearly some issues going on in the home. We think it had something to do with one of B's cousins. He wasn't at dinner and our inquiries about him were ignored. There was just an air about the place. It made the whole day, which was already uncomfortable, even more so. We were the only guests and shortly after dinner it was just the three of us (B, me and their dog).

This year it has been hard to make plans as everything has been up in the air for so long. It has been impossible to see much beyond the day, let alone weeks in advance. Meanwhile, I have been pushing myself away from people because this situation has just been too hard to explain. Everything has just felt so out of control that I haven't wanted to inflict myself on others. And thus I now have two 18-pound turkeys in the freezer and no plans.

This is one of the things I truly suck at - inviting people to do something. Like most people, I don't like rejection. But I am sure there are other issues at work there as well.

At this point, I would be surprised if anyone I knew in the area didn't have plans. And I also don't want to make it look like I am fishing for an invite. At the same time what does this say about me. Yikes!

The holidays are hard when you don't have family. They are hard when you do too. I don't miss the craziness of that. I am trying to be thankful for the craziness of this. I think we need to figure out new traditions.


on the night stand :: Everyday Sacred