oh christmas cards

canon digital rebel xsi

Disclaimer: I really do love the tradition of sending holiday cards. Right now I am just venting, as part of me feels like pulling my hair out, strand by strand. I will feel much better once they are safely in a mailbox.^* This really is something I want to do (sending the cards, not pulling my hair out).

Today was the day I had planned on having the bulk of my holiday cards in the mail. Alas, I did not make this goal. I am probably not even close. It should still happen before the week is out. The devil is in the details, or so they say.

The photos have been ordered. They are probably even ready to be picked up. I just lack a way to get there, as Ritz has closed most of its stores in the greater LA area. Now I am starting to regret that nasty letter I sent to the Pasadena store, although their staff truly was useless.

The plan is to take B to work in Pasadena, and then drive to Newport Beach to pick up the photos, then drive back to Pasadena to pick him up and drive back to the house. Anyone familiar with LA, knows that is some serious driving. I may have to come up with a Plan B.

The thing that is really getting me is making sure I have everyone's address and names of spouses and children. I once made the mistake of putting the wrong name of one of my friend's sons on a card. I was thinking how much her son looked like a mini version on her father, and so I wrote her father's name by mistake. Oops. I was so embarrassed.

I also find myself saying (aloud), why do people move? Yes, this comes from the mouth of a woman who has moved how many times? Wait, 28. Not that I am counting or anything. But still, why do people move without sending some sort of update to their friends - especially the ones who still send things in the mail!

I still hate Facebook, but don't know how I would complete this crazy task without it. It has been great with the spouse's names that I can't seem to recall. It's not entirely my faulty memory. In some cases, we have never met, or only met once, or even just in passing at some huge event where I met 300 other people.

I do my best to keep my paper address book up to date, but find it nearly impossible with all the moving, name-changing (oh wait, I did that too), and baby having that goes on these days. I know it is just that my friends are at the stage in life, that this is what we do. It also doesn't help that I have more than one address book, and keep some things on the computer as well. Gmail search is a godsend.

_______________________________________________________________
^*Yes, I believe large batches of holiday cards should be put in an actual mailbox like that scene from When Harry Met Sally.

on the night stand :: Big Rabbit's Bad Mood by Ramona Badescu.

oh christmas tree

canon digital rebel xsi

I've been thinking about when to put up the tree. For many families there is a tradition around the tree. When it is put up. How it gets decorated. What you do during, and maybe even after it is done.

I realized that in my family, when I was still living with both my parents, we didn't put up the tree until the last minute. In fact, on our last Christmas together, we put up the tree on Christmas Eve.

I really really wanted a white Christmas tree. I was seven, and pretty much got what I wanted. We had an artificial green tree in the basement, but I convinced my father it was time for a new one. My mother was not keen on the idea, but let us go shopping on the day before Christmas.

All the trees were half off. They only had one white one that met my standards. Unfortunately it was out of stock.

The good news was that the sales lady said if we helped her remove the decorations, we could have the floor model. Even better, we could have all the ornaments at no charge. Score!

So we helped pack up the decorations. They were red balls and little snowmen and women. We packed up the tree and loaded up the car. Then we went home and set everything up. It looked great. And was ready just in time to go to bed and wait for Santa's arrival.

I am not sure when we took the tree back down, but I bet it was before the New Year. We could always go visit my grandmother, who had her tree (which touched the ceiling) up for most of January. It was green though, not white.


on the night stand :: When Wanderers Cease to Roam by Vivian Swift.

and so november ends

canon digital rebel xsi

Yesterday we decided to give in, and returned to the happiest place on earth. It is the first time I have been there in decades for the holiday season. It did not disappoint.

The main thing I wanted to see was Small World. Oh wow! We waited in line for about 30 minutes in the middle of the afternoon. The holiday decorations inside were amazing. I loved how they matched the country with their actual holiday traditions. We knew though, that we needed to return after the sun went down for the light show.

We lucked out and only had to wait in line about 10 minutes for Buzz Lightyear. Then we walked around the Matterhorn, towards Small World. Even from afar, the lights were amazing. We only had one obstacle in our way - the parade.

We ended up in a line to get across the parade route. A cast member instructed us to walk fast, or we would have to wait for the next break in the parade to cross.

We made it across just fine. Then we made it to the front of Small World. Wow. Just wow.

Then we figured out where the end of the line was, an got in it. Even better, we managed to see the end of the parade up close. And just when it couldn't get any more awesome, the light show started as we were on the ramp down to the boats.

I have photos, but haven't downloaded them yet. Heck, I'm hoping to finish everything I had planned for Thanksgiving dinner sometime this week.



on the night stand :: The Curse of the Good Girl by Rachael Simmons.

on thanksgiving

canon digital rebel xsi

It's funny. I've been trying to remember a Thanksgiving from my childhood, and can't. Isn't that weird?

I know we must have done something, but clearly it wasn't very memorable. Who knows?

We did go to my Aunt & Uncle's house one year. They are vegetarian. I remember my Aunt announcing that she had invited our father to dinner. We thought she was serious, but then discovered she meant she had cooked a turkey. That really was a big surprise.

The most memorable Thanksgiving was the one in Austin where the oven didn't turn on. I had the turkey already to go into the oven, only to discover that the oven was stone cold. I thought it was the pilot light, but turned out to be something much more serious.

Thankfully one of our guests was pretty handy, and agreed to come over early and fit it. My back up plan was pumpkin soup, and pie that someone was bringing. In the end, we had turkey around 11 pm. That was definitely a Thanksgiving to remember.


on the night stand :: This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper.

the nightmare before christmas ride

canon digital rebel xsi

I am still working on the photos I took during Halloween at Disneyland, but thought I would share this one. It is from the Haunted Mansion, which has been transformed into The Nightmare Before Christmas. It is amazing. I think it will stay this way until the New Year.

It really is a whole different experience seeing the ride decked out this way. There are so many details - you have to get back in line - probably more than once - to take in all the details.

If you are familiar with the ride, this is the dining room scene. It actually smells like gingerbread as you pass through. It really is something to experience!


on the night stand :: Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger.

nineteen days

It's sounds like a long time, but really it isn't. Nineteen days is the amount of time I have to get this house back in order. The time I have left to mentally prepare myself for the arrival. To convince B that we should just head north or east. Be anywhere but here for the holidays. All we need is an Internet connection.

I have a list in my head of all that needs to be done. I need to commit it to paper. I have been so anxious, I just haven't been able to let myself do that.

I also need to prepare for Christmas. I promised myself I would get my cards out on time this year. I have the blanks. My address book is a mess though. And of course I need something to go on the front. That's the hard part.

There is also the question of the tree. This has been a big issue with me and B for years. When we thought B's nephews were coming for Christmas, it seemed like a no brainer. Now, it seems like something I could be judged for as being frivolous or taking over a house that isn't mine. Of course it didn't stop me from bringing home three reindeer ornaments from Starbucks today. I have this idea in my head of having a Twitter themed tree. Very high brow. No one would get it.

And of course there are thoughts of what happens once they arrive. I am a planner by nature. For better or worse, I like to know what is going to happen. I think this is what is driving me crazy. Although this is major progress - getting almost a months notice - we still know little about their plans. So the question remains do we just plan as if they weren't here, or do we keep our calendar open? Either way, I think we are screwed.

Today's progress included taking in the recycling, which required going to two centers. The first was not accepting glass. I also got some tips on taking a preschooler to Disneyland. I apparently need to get bandaides.

Nineteen days is roughly 456 hours or 27,360 minutes. Nineteen days is less time than they will be here.

It's really a pity I don't drink.


on the night stand :: More Information Than You Require by John Hodgeman

holiday rant two thousand and eight

Every year I have to post this earlier. Today is October 20 - Halloween is still over a week away! Rumor has it to deal with the crumbling financial world, Walmart has responded by putting out the Christmas stuff last week! (I admit, I do not shop at Walmart. I heard about this on NPR.) The idea is to get people to shop earlier, in smaller doses, and more often, so we don't end up with another Christmas of 1991.

Today I also received an email from The Container Store, informing me that they have put their Gift Wrap Wonderland on line. I love The Container Store, but honestly it is a bit early to be thinking about wrapping paper with stars and trees and reindeer. I still haven't figured out Thanksgiving yet, not to mention this whole election thing.

And so once again I do my part to remind people that the holiday season is not about counting how many presents you give or receive, but rather a time to spend with those you love (related by blood or not) and count your blessings. With this guide, I hope to help everyone come up with ways to do just that. With a little planning, and setting expectations, you can have a wonderful guilt-free holiday season.

Conversations with friends have reminded me that sometimes we all need to step back and remember what we are celebrating during the holidays. I suppose I should step back here for a minute and state for the record that I love Christmas. I love the decorations – from the fancy themed department store window displays to the Charlie Brown Christmas trees. I love the music – my holiday collection is huge and I know it drives some people nuts. I love the traditions – from hanging stockings to special recipes that have been handed down several generations. I even love the cards – from finding just the right one down to the stamp that goes on the front. All of these things connect us to others and remind of where we come from. What I can’t stand is the notion that you have to spend, spend, spend – because that my friends is what tears us apart.

Don’t get me wrong, for those that have more money than they could ever know what to do with, I say go for it, especially if you remember the little people along the way. But most of us, aren’t close to having those kinds of problems of abundance, as my friend S, often reminds us. I’ll say it again because it still rings true: Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice is every day that you have a roof over your head, food on the table, and people who love you. The terrorists don’t win if you spend beyond your means and literally spend the next decade or more paying off the interest payments. When families are forced to live paycheck to paycheck so they can keep up with the Jones, no one wins. It truly is that simple.

If you sit down and get kids to open up, they really don’t want (most) a new bike or the latest video game system. Children want to spend quality time (a little one-on-one) with Mom or Dad (or both). Remember that when the urge strikes to go over your budget – think about how many late nights you will need to spend at the office to pay for it.

That doesn’t mean I am totally against the whole present thing either – I just think it should be done within the spirit of the season and your means. How many times have you received a present that a) was so not you, it wasn’t even funny, b) felt guilty because you knew the giver had spent too much, and/or c) wish they really hadn’t? True, there is something to the notion it is that thought that counts. But if you believe that, then be thoughtful this holiday season – to all parties concerned. Because, again be honest, how many times have you a) bought someone something because you felt you had to, b) had no idea what to get someone but got them something anyway, and/or c) went over budget because of these feelings of obligation and guilt? The holiday season shouldn’t be so painful. That’s not what they are about.

Fret not. Hope is not lost. Here is my updated guide to enjoying the season. It’s not too late to catch the true spirit of the holidays. In fact, there is plenty of time to turn the tides and make this the best holiday season yet!:

Set expectations. This is probably most important. Let your friends and family (including kids old enough to understand) you plan to do things a little different this year. Of course, be sure to share some of the highlights of the fun things you have planned instead, and let the excitement begin.

Get creative. Grab your local paper or go on line and see what’s going on this season. Maybe tickets to the Nutcracker (there is lots of great community theatre out there) and make a night of it. Where are the best places to see the lights? Pack some hot cocoa and bring your camera. If you belong to a church or synagogue, investigate what activities they will be offering (midnight mass isn’t always at midnight). Don’t forget your library. Chances are good there are fliers posted with music concerts, art making, and perhaps even caroling opportunities. Also many museums have free days around the holidays. Why not take advantage?

Get everyone involved. It’s no fun if someone does all the planning. Have a brainstorming session. Ask what they want to experience this holiday season. Make sure at least one idea from each person is included in your plans. Learning to compromise is important. Also assign age-appropriate tasks to help everything come together. Share the work of gathering information, ordering tickets, making reservations, inviting other, and so on, with the entire family so no one is overburdened.

Plan ahead. Sit down and mark out your plans, and make sure everyone in your family gets a copy. Remember that since you will not be shopping and running around like a crazy person, you will have time on your hands, so have fun and enjoy the simple joys of the holiday season.

Make a gift list. Decide who you would like to give a gift and a budget. Here are so no-to-low cost ideas:

• Coupons. This was my Mom’s favorite and better received that you might think. Gifts of time (a day with you, baby-sitting, errand running, a week of your kid’s chores, etc.) are always appreciated. If appropriate, kisses and back rubs are nice too. Don’t forget to put expiration dates and if you like, make some redeemable for a particular time of year when you have more time/money.



• Use your talents. If you love to cook or knit or sew, the ideas are limitless. If you have a knack for music, put together a mix of your favorite songs. Did you take an amazing photo this year? Find an inexpensive frame and presto! If you have a dozen or so you love, make a calendar.



• Write a letter. Not one of those awful over-the-top-my-family-is-better-than-yours end of the year holiday updates though. Tell someone how you really feel. Let them know you care and think of them. Also what you hope for them. It is one of the simplest things to do; yet you’d be surprised how much this can mean to another. Speak from your heart and spelling and grammar won’t matter.



• De-clutter. There is nothing wrong with giving a gently used book if you think the recipient would love it. Ms. Manners and other etiquette experts all agree that there is no harm in re-gifting (as long as you don’t make the grand faux pas of giving it back to the original gift-giver). In this category you may want to add passing down a treasured heirloom or even a family recipe. Just think of the goose bumps you would get if someone presented you with grandma’s pearls or Aunt Ida’s infamous eggnog recipe.



• Donate. Give a gift to your favorite cause (or a cause the recipient believes in) in their name. Most organizations are happy to provide you with a card or letter for the recipient. Plus you may be able to earn a deduction on your taxes (no harm in that).



• Do their homework. No, don't go digging up an essay so your niece sails through English 101. Here I am thinking about someone on your list that is going on a vacation or perhaps moving to a new town. Why not put together points of interest, restaurants, and other places of note. Trust me, this could easily be the best thing they ever received.



• Draw names. If you have a big family I have heard this works great. Everyone draws a name and a limit is put on the amount spent. This would also work well in families that have seen a sudden rise in little ones - this way the adults don't feel left out.

Shop locally. Support your local artists at a holiday fair or family owned specialty shop in town.

Use the Internet. If you want to buy a big-ticket item or a must-have toy, do a search on Google (or other search engines). See who is offering the best price. Also use Google (or other search engines) to see if a particular retailer is offering free shipping or other specials. Click, click and you are done. Items can be shipped to your office to make things easier and keep from ruining the surprise. Also if you haven't discovered Etsy, the holidays would be a good time. Artists from all over the world offer amazing crafts and artwork, many at good prices.

Give back. Again, you should find some time opening up without all the rushing around or looking for parking at the mall. But just an FYI – soup kitchens usually have more people then they know what to do with on actual holidays, so try to pick a day when people are needed and you and yours will feel more useful. Adopting a family is a great idea if you can, or on a smaller scale most malls/bookstores/kids stores will have trees filled with ornaments that represent a child’s wish. Also don't forgot about thanking the folks who helped make your holidays a little brighter.

It's okay to wish. Don’t be afraid to use wish lists. If you have generous family or friends who would like to get presents (especially for the little ones), it is perfectly fine to have a wish list. People who don’t have kids are often clueless about what to get, or afraid of getting something the child already has or in the wrong size. That said, I wouldn’t necessarily advertise it, but if they ask, why not make it easy? And of course, if you do use one, keep it current! Is your wish list current? Save yourself the hassle of returns.

Oh, and don’t forget Buy Nothing Day. Instead of going to the mall the Friday after Thanksgiving (this year November 28 in the US), resist the urge to spend any money. As the site says, for 24 hours every November we remember that no one was born to shop. There has to be something you would rather do than risk your life looking for parking at the mall.


on the night stand :: Scattershot: My Bipolar Family

zebra is the new penguin

Yesterday we went to the OC. I had a library book overdue and we decided to stop in at *gasp* the Mall.

I have finally started the process of getting the holiday cards in the mail. To make things easier I wanted to put a stamp inside for the greeting. I figured it was the perfect excuse to go visit Paper Source. They have all things paper, but also a decent collection of rubber stamps.

I knew it was a long shot, but I was hoping to find a stamp that said "tidings". Alas, I was correct in that being a long shot. I briefly considered getting an alphabet set and doing it myself, but the entire idea behind using a stamp is to simplify. Somehow that just didn't seem to fit the bill.

B saw a sample of a stamp that said "Joy". We looked, but they didn't have one. He did find a sample, but the salesperson refused to sell it to him. This upset him very much.

We considered other options. Ironically "All You Need Is Love" was playing in the background. They even had a "Love" stamp, but some of these cards are going to business associates, so that might not be appropriate. We considered "Happy Halloween" and "Whatever". They actually had a rather interesting section of not very nice sayings. One stamp said "Your husband is good in bed". I honestly could not think of where such a stamp would be appropriate except perhaps on said husband's behind.

B then got it in his head that the zebra should be the new holiday animal. He found a very cute zebra stamp, but it just didn't seem like the best idea. It took me a good 20 minutes to convince him that this was not going to happen. Instead I got some thank you notes with the same zebra on them.

I think we found a good compromise. I also ordered stamps for said cards. I am hoping they arrive tomorrow. Don't ask why I didn't think of this sooner. I feel oh so very far behind.

on the night stand :: Metropolitan Cow

or not

I have spent a good part of today YELLING! Yes, yelling. I had had enough of all of this no one willing to make a decision about if they were coming to LA for the holidays nonsense.

I am a planner. Not only that, I have planned large holiday gatherings. It is a LOT of work. Don't get me wrong, I love doing it, but it doesn't take away from the effort and managing that goes into such a thing. I also know that with every day that passes, it becomes more difficult to find things, not to mention that the crowds get crankier, larger, and more out of control. If this is going to fall to me, then I would prefer not to make it any more difficult than it need be.

If everyone were to come, there would be six adults (and I really just mean people over 18 - the behavior I am in the midst of is far from adult) and two children under three. There are two dining tables in the house. Both seat six. Each is in a different room. There are also only sets of six dishes, glasses, etc. My main concern is really not so much matching everything, but more in that if history repeats itself, then B and I would be forced to sit at the counter with our backs facing everyone. So much for bringing people together. The tables could be moved into the den, but again, a lot of work that I would rather not do if they are not coming.

One of the things we learned is that B's sister didn't realize we were in LA when she sent the email suggesting she might be spending the holidays there (um, here). This was something I had initially suspected, as it was a bit bizarre. Honestly I can't say which would be worse - that she didn't know where her brother was living or that she was inviting herself (and her family) to spend the holidays with us. I just don't know how this has never come up in such a 'close knit' family. *rolls eyes*

We also learned that the instigation for this whole 'family holiday in LA' was for the grandkids to spend the holidays with their grandparents. Asian cultures tend to say that the husband's family rules the roost (there are exceptions of course, this is just a general guideline when all other things are equal). This is important because last holiday season, B's sister left her oldest son to stay with his paternal grandparents for three months. As the maternal grandparents lived in the area, the boy visited (mostly on weekends), but the paternal grandparents had custody, so to speak. You would think that they would be all over this and willing to concede to any demands made of them. Apparently not so much.

Even more disturbing is that B's parents know where he is, and they knew about these plans, but never said a word to him. I don't know if they were hoping we wouldn't be here over the holidays or afraid that if they clued us in on their plans, we would make alternate plans. Clearly there are some serious control issues, not to mention manipulation and complete lack of communication.

Meanwhile, B is asking me why I am so upset about all of this. If I want a family holiday I should just plan for it, and if they don't come, they don't come. He assures me that his parents don't care about things like decorations and just want to spend time together. I say that while that may be good and true, there are little children in the picture and it certainly wouldn't be right for them not to enjoy the traditions of the holidays. Also I point out that I would hate to do to all that work (and spend the money) only for the two of us to be sitting alone come Christmas Eve. How sad would that be? Well, maybe not sad, but there would be some feelings of disappointment. I joked about putting in all in a box and leaving it for next year when we definitely would make other plans.

I have been living for the last year in limbo. I hate not being able to tell people where I will be. I know that no one would be upset with me if I had to cancel at the last minute, but I also know that it gets old fast. And it is disappointing all around. It is a large part of why I start keeping my distance. I was tired of explaining. I love the saying "Bloom Where You Are Planted", but I am not sure how to do that having been uprooted so much.

Since I started writing this, we have learned that they are probably not coming. There is still a slim chance, but it isn't likely. Those are almost exact quotes from his parents. Don't you just love that? And I was accused of being non-committal. Go figure. Also, B's Dad suggested we go to New York. Gotta love it.

Someone once said that the definition of mixed feelings is watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff. In your brand new Mercedes.




on the night stand :: The Sunny Side by A.A. Milne

i thought these were lost

These are from December 2005. They are what was the holiday windows from Marshall Fields (now Macy's). The theme that year was Cinderella. I so miss living in downtown Chicago. Enjoy this trip down memory lane.

on the night stand :: The Golden Compass

pickle presents

This is a tradition a friend started. The name comes from her childhood. It refers to presents that have been hyped, but turn out to be a big let down in the end. The present that started this tradition turned out to be an actual pickle - and thus the name.

Really they are just silly things. A few years back she picked a person and sent a box of pickle presents for the holiday season. The idea is to wrap up 25 of them in an advent sort of way.

I decided to join in the fun this year, and have been working on mine, but realize I need to get cracking. The goal is to have the package arrive by the first of December, and since I will be out of town then, it means I need to finish it before I leave.

I hope the recipient appreciates the end result. In this case it really is the thought that counts.


on the night stand :: Star Girl

guide to reclaiming the holidays, or guilt is not a holiday tradition

Yes, I know that yesterday I was all about holiday cards and how even in early November, time is of the essence. This post may seem contradictory, but really it isn't. This is my annual day to rant about the commercialization of the holidays. Every year it seems I post this sooner, as the line of demarcation keeps getting drawn further and further away. This year I know I saw Christmas items moving in as the end of summer sale was starting to clear the aisles. They were already playing holiday carols on the weekend Today Show (I don't know why I was watching that either). Read on and take action.

Conversations with friends have reminded me that sometimes we all need to step back and remember what we are celebrating. I suppose I should step back here for a minute and state for the record that I love Christmas. I love the decorations – from the fancy themed department store window displays to the Charlie Brown Christmas trees. I love the music – my holiday collection is huge and I know it drives some people nuts. I love the traditions – from hanging stockings to special recipes that have been handed down several generations. I even love the cards – from finding just the right one down to the stamp that goes on the front. All of these things connect us to others and remind of where we come from. What I can’t stand is the notion that you have to spend, spend, spend – because that my friends is what tears us apart.

Don’t get me wrong, for those that have more money than they could ever know what to do with, I say go for it, especially if you remember the little people along the way. But most of us, aren’t close to having those kinds of problems. I’ll say it again because it still rings true: Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa is every day that we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and people who love us. The terrorists don’t win if you spend beyond your means and literally spend the next decade or more paying off the interest payments. When families are forced to live paycheck to paycheck so they can keep up with the Jones, no one wins. It truly is that simple.

If you sit down and get kids to open up, they really don’t want (most) a new bike or the latest video game system. Children want to spend quality time (a little one-on-one) with Mom or Dad (or both). Remember that when the urge strikes to go over your budget – think about how many late nights you will need to spend at the office to pay for it.

That doesn’t mean I am totally against the whole present thing either – I just think it should be done within the spirit of the season and your means. How many times have you received a present that a) was so not you, it wasn’t even funny, b) felt guilty because you knew the giver had spent too much, and/or c) wish they really hadn’t? True, there is something to the notion it is that thought that counts. But if you believe that, then be thoughtful this holiday season – to all parties concerned. Because, again be honest, how many times have you a) bought someone something because you felt you had to, b) had no idea what to get someone but got them something anyway, and/or c) went over budget because of these feelings of obligation and guilt? The holiday season shouldn’t be so painful. That’s not what they are about.

Fret not. Hope is not lost. Here is my updated guide to enjoying the season. It’s not too late to catch the true spirit of the holidays. In fact, there is plenty of time to turn the tides and make this the best holiday season yet!:

Set expectations. This is probably most important. Let your friends and family (including kids old enough to understand) you plan to do things a little different this year. Of course, be sure to share some of the highlights of the fun things you have planned instead, and let the excitement begin.

Get creative. Grab your local paper or go on line and see what’s going on this season. Maybe tickets to the Nutcracker (there is lots of great community theatre out there) and make a night of it. Where are the best places to see the lights? Pack some hot cocoa and bring your camera. If you belong to a church or synagogue, investigate what activities they will be offering (midnight mass isn’t always at midnight). Don’t forget your library. Chances are good there are fliers posted with music concerts, art making, and perhaps even caroling opportunities. Also many museums have free days around the holidays. Why not take advantage?

Get everyone involved. It’s no fun if someone does all the planning. Have a brainstorming session. Ask what they want to experience this holiday season. Make sure at least one idea from each person is included in your plans. Learning to compromise is important. Also assign age-appropriate tasks to help everything come together. Share the work of gathering information, ordering tickets, making reservations, inviting other, and so on, with the entire family so no one is overburdened.

Plan ahead. Sit down and mark out your plans, and make sure everyone in your family gets a copy. Remember that since you will not be shopping and running around like a crazy person, you will have time on your hands, so have fun and enjoy the simple joys of the holiday season.

Make a gift list Decide who you would like to give a gift and a budget. Here are so no-to-low cost ideas:

• Coupons. This was my Mom’s favorite and better received that you might think. Gifts of time (a day with you, baby-sitting, errand running, a week of your kid’s chores, etc.) are always appreciated. If appropriate, kisses and back rubs are nice too. Don’t forget to put expiration dates and if you like, make some redeemable for a particular time of year when you have more time/money.


• Use your talents. If you love to cook or knit or sew, the ideas are limitless. If you have a knack for music, put together a mix of your favorite songs. Did you take an amazing photo this year? Find an inexpensive frame and presto! If you have a dozen or so you love, make a calendar.


• Write a letter. Not one of those awful over-the-top-my-family-is-better-than-yours end of the year holiday updates though. Tell someone how you really feel. Let them know you care and think of them. Also what you hope for them. It is one of the simplest things to do; yet you’d be surprised how much this can mean to another. Speak from your heart and spelling and grammar won’t matter.


• De-clutter. There is nothing wrong with giving a gently used book if you think the recipient would love it. Ms. Manners and other etiquette experts all agree that there is no harm in re-gifting (as long as you don’t make the grand faux pas of giving it back to the original gift-giver). In this category you may want to add passing down a treasured heirloom or even a family recipe. Just think of the goose bumps you would get if someone presented you with grandma’s pearls or Aunt Ida’s infamous eggnog recipe.


• Donate. Give a gift to your favorite cause (or a cause the recipient believes in) in their name. Most organizations are happy to provide you with a card or letter for the recipient. Plus you may be able to earn a deduction on your taxes (no harm in that).


• Do their homework. No, don't go digging up an essay so your niece sails through English 101. Here I am thinking about someone on your list that is going on a vacation or perhaps moving to a new town. Why not put together points of interest, restaurants, and other places of note. Trust me, this could easily be the best thing they ever received.


• Draw names. If you have a big family I have heard this works great. Everyone draws a name and a limit is put on the amount spent. This would also work well in families that have seen a sudden rise in little ones - this way the adults don't feel left out.

Shop locally. Support your local artists at a holiday fair or family owned specialty shop in town.

Use the Internet. If you want to buy a big-ticket item or a must-have toy, do a search on Google. See who is offering the best price. Also use Google (or other search engines) to see if a particular retailer is offering free shipping or other specials. Click, click and you are done. Items can be shipped to your office to make things easier and keep from ruining the surprise. Also if you haven't discovered Etsy, the holidays would be a good time. Artists from all over the world offer amazing crafts and artwork, many at good prices.

Give back. Again, you should find some time opening up without all the rushing around or looking for parking at the mall. But just an FYI – soup kitchens usually have more people then they know what to do with on actual holidays, so try to pick a day when people are needed and you and yours will feel more useful. Adopting a family is a great idea if you can, or on a smaller scale most malls/bookstores/kids stores will have trees filled with ornaments that represent a child’s wish. Also don't forgot about thanking the folks who helped make your holidays a little brighter.

It's okay to wish. Don’t be afraid to use wish lists. If you have generous family or friends who would like to get presents (especially for the little ones), it is perfectly fine to have a wish list. People who don’t have kids are often clueless about what to get, or afraid of getting something the child already has or in the wrong size. That said, I wouldn’t necessarily advertise it, but if they ask, why not make it easy? And of course, if you do use one, keep it current! Is your wish list current? Save yourself the hassle of returns.

Oh, and don’t forget Buy Nothing Day. Instead of going to the mall the Friday after Thanksgiving, resist the urge to spend any money. As the site says, for 24 hours every November we remember that no one was born to shop. There has to be something you would rather do than risk your life looking for parking at the mall.


on the night stand :: Yo-Yo Man

holiday cards

One of my favorite holiday traditions is sending cards. I haven't really met anyone that doesn't enjoy getting "fun" mail, and I think greeting cards fall into that category. It may seem a bit early to start thinking about it, but honestly it is almost starting to get late, depending on the type of card and how many you plan on sending. And if you have friends and family abroad, getting cards in the mail on time, can be the difference between them arriving on Christmas or Valentine's Day.

I still haven't decided what I want to use for my holiday card this year. For the last couple of years I have been making my own. It sounds more complicated than it is, but essentially I have standard size photos printed and then stick them on pre-made cards. It becomes a bit of a production, figuring out what photos to use and then finding those last addressed. Usually I hope to get them out by mid-December, but am happy if I make it by New Year's Eve.

There are so many options popping up on the web. I thought I would share a few:

If you want to do a photo card with a picture of your family these looked awesome:

tiny*prints: I think the Tea Collection is my favorite, but I also love the folded story cards. I adore the ones with photos on the inside too.

Depending on how many you order, prices average out to about $1.50 per card. You upload your photo. In most cases you can add a personal greeting, and change things like color and fonts.

Moo Cards: Moo is based in London, so give yourself about a week to receive your order (in the US). The thing that really sets Moo apart is that you can put a different photo on each card. Plus you can add a message, picking fonts and colors. You can also make stickers (with your photos) which you could do all kinds of things with this holiday season. Just think of the possibilities!

paper + cup: These are much cooler than you standard Walgreen's photo cards. You upload your photo and can change some of the fonts and colors as well as add your own message. They are offering a special price of 25 cards for $58.

If you prefer not to scare people with photos of yourself (or your children or pets), here are some original ideas:

Moo Cards: Moo is currently holding a holiday card contest. As such there are now over a thousand photos you can put on your card. Some of mine are entered, including the photo above. Check out their Flickr pool. The best part is you can pick a different card for each one! Okay, even better - $1 from every set of ten holiday cards sold goes to charity - Médecins Sans Frontières. This includes holiday cards where you use your own photos.

If you like more tradition paper cards, here are some unique sources:

rock paper scissors: Lots of pretty cards for the holidays. These are a bit pricey, so you may want to be selective in who you send them too. Cool site too.

pancake and franks: With a name like 'pancake and franks' you know it has to be good. Very minimalist. Very gorgeous. Also pricey. They ask you buy at least six cards if you order on line. They do have a price break for multiples of the same card.

egg press: There are only a few holiday cards on their site right now, but it says more are to come. These are sweet and simple messages.

MOMA NY. If you like modern and different, this is the place to shop. Plus you can feel good knowing your purchase is helping support the arts.

Greenwich Letter Press: These guys are based in New York City, so as you might expect, their designs are hip and a bit edgy. Prices range from $3.00 per card on up. I cut them some slack on the squirrel card.

Hopefully you aren't as overwhelmed as I am with all these choices. Of course no one says all your cards need to be the same. Here are some other suggestions:

Start updating your address book now. I bet you know more than a handful of people who have moved this year. Also take a step back and make a list of people you intend to send cards to this holiday season. Then you can start figuring out whose address you need to update.

Next you need stamps. If you love square cards, remember that you need an extra postage. An extra 17 cents to be exact. So that's 58 cents a pop. If you want to skip the madhouse that is the post office the next several weeks, shop online at www.usps.com. Don't forget that at no extra charge you can also have priority mail boxes and labels delivered to your front door. In many areas you can even have them picked up for free too.

If you don't like the styles offered at the post office this year, why not make your own? You may not know this, but in order to be depicted on a US Stamp, you need to be dead several years. The only break US Presidents get is the number of years. So why not put someone you love on a stamp?

Once you got the cards, the addresses, and postage, all that is left if what to say inside. I skip the annual letter. I think they can be over the top and only alienate people, or at the very least cause people to make fun of you. I had a friend in college whose mother berated her for not being more like the kids in the letter she had received in a holiday greeting. I explained to my friend that much of that stuff is made up or at least stretching the truth. For example when they boasted that one son was considering the ivy league, what they really meant was that they were letting him pick one ivy league school to apply to, as they knew it was a stretch, and could only waste so much money on college application fees.

I try to write a note in each one, but confess it can be hard. Sometimes I feel like a broken record, and sometimes I just feel lost in terms of what to say. My general rule is to speak from the heart. To let the person know that I care and am thinking of them. That is after all, the purpose of going to all this trouble, right?


on the night stand :: The Used World