a day in the life of a rock star

This is my 30th post for November 2007. NaBloPoMo was a success!! I am proud of the fact that I made it through despite traveling and not having 24/7 access to the Internet.

Here are some highlights from my day (because I love lists):

Had pizza with a friend and her 3-year old twins (a boy and a girl). It was a lot of fun, and overall everyone was well behaved. (Although our waiter did ask if we would like some animal tranquilizers at one point.)

While B did some work I joined my friend at the playground and Borders. I managed to buy nothing at the bookstore.

B and I stopped at Long's (drug store) to buy pocket tissues. We also got some chocolate as it was on clearance.

The Pickle Presents arrived safe and sound at both recipients. Both are very excited! They get to open present number one tomorrow, and then one a day until Christmas.

Dinner at Jollibee. I had the Jollibee spaghetti.

Afterward we scored free hot donuts at Krispy Kreme. They really are best warm.

Tomorrow we must check the mail at the UPS Store.

on the night stand :: Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited

there are no figs in figgy pudding

Here we are just two days left in November and I feel so conflicted. I think part of it is just having everything up in the air regarding the holidays makes me edgy. Having plans and being able to make a to do list would keep me busy and out of trouble. But of course I know it goes deeper than that.

Here are things in a nutshell: B's sister sent him an email suggesting she spend the holiday in LA (she has a husband and two children under 3). B was a bit surprised, and my initial reaction wasn't much better. B replied back trying to dissuade her, believing that if she came, his parents would also join them. His concern was more how I would react to being together under the same roof. And unfortunately I share his concern.

So last night, we talked about it AGAIN. Keep in mind, we still have no answers from anyone, AND our initial thought about the holidays was to go away as Thanksgiving kind of sucked donkeys. The bottom line is that I asked him if my issues were taken out of the equation, how much would he want his entire family (his other sister would also likely join in on the festivities) to spend the holidays with him. His response: "a six or a seven". That's out of TEN, by the way.

That's pretty high. I didn't expect a 10. I was hoping for a 2, but I figured maybe a 5. B loves his family, but he also has issues with them.

So now the big question. Do I try and push for this to happen? There aren't too many Christmas holidays that this would work out? Or do I push for us to make plans to go out of town?

I should step back here and talk about my concerns about being under one roof for the holidays. Me and B's family are like oil and vinegar. We just don't like each other. In my defense, I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that we don't really know each other. Some of it has to do with the fact that B tried (and succeeded) in separating us. Another part has to do with obligation, and how his parents feel none towards me. And another part has to do with a theory that a friend of mine has that when you meet your potential in-laws at a young age, they always see you at that age (or at least it is a very difficult thing to overcome).

The first meeting of B's parents was memorable, although to this day, I don't think they realize what happened. I will repeat this story, but long time readers can skip if they like. Here is how things went down:

B and I had been living together. His parents didn't know it, and he was going to make sure they didn't find out. So as his graduation approached, I found a sublet and moved my stuff there, although I didn't start spending the night there until they came (and eventually kidnapped him).

B and I knew they would start their trip to the US in Los Angeles, but they wouldn't give him a date as to when they were visiting him in Berkeley. We had gone out shopping (it was a weekend afternoon) and returned to B's apartment to find a message on the answering machine from his parents. They were at Harris Ranch (the midpoint on the 5 between LA and SF), and planned to be in town in a few hours. According to the time stamp, that would be any minute, and so I panicked. I was certainly not dressed or in any way ready to meet these people.

Soon thereafter, there was a buzz on the intercom. Holy crap - they are here! No way!

Thankfully we were on the fifth (top) floor of the apartment, in the back. B didn't have a car. So there was no way to tell if he was home. I said we should just wait it out and they will go away. Ha! You won't believe what happened next, but I assure you this is true:

When the buzzing stopped, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then a few minutes later, the phone started ringing. I thought if we didn't answer it, they would get that B was not home. I figured they would leave a message with their plan and I could go shower and change (at my apartment).

Apparently this is not how these people worked. Now not only was the phone ringing, there was now knocking on the door! Simultaneously!! The building wasn't very secure, so clearly one of our lovely neighbors had let them in.

The ringing, buzzing and knocking, simply wasn't going to stop. These people weren't going to go away. So I did the only thing I could - I HID IN THE CLOSET.

This whole thing probably lasted about 15 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. B eventually did answer the door. He said he had been taking a nap. Oy!

The good news is he got rid of his parents quickly. He lived in a tiny studio apartment with no real furniture to speak of, so it wasn't like he could invite them in and chit chat. It still doesn't make sense to me why they didn't just leave a message, or better yet call from the hotel and make plans to meet for dinner.

Honestly, I never saw anything like this. Who treats their son like this? This was a behavior of a scorned lover, not ones parents visiting from out of town with no itinerary. The banging on door while the other is downstairs calling from a pay phone on the corner was kicking things up. I almost never wanted to come out of the closet. Who were these people?!

But this was my first impression of them, and it has been a hard one to break. I don't think that they have changed much. They are still about control. They don't act like adults. They don't respect their children. They still don't tell us when they are coming to visit until the very last second and then more than likely change their plans anyway.

So while I know what I am up against, I need to decide what I am willing to do this Christmas. I don't want B to miss out on an opportunity to spend with his family. Part of me knows that I will be missing mine again this season, and certainly wouldn't wish that on anyone. At the same time, I am not sure how I wouldn't be miserable while they are around.

I wish I knew the answer. Of course, they could make it easy and make other plans. I just want to know what we are doing so I can move forward.

on the night stand :: 2008 Moleskin Large Red Daily Planner- Limited Edition

a few random tidbits

{one}: Visited our favorite chocolate cafe today. It is hard not to be happy there. We shared a chocolate cupcake that had whipped cream frosting and little pieces of candied orange on top.

{two}: Wore my cute shoes today. My feet are still mad about it.

{three}: B has been on the hunt for a certain game for his wii. We have visited several Targets, Best Buys, and Toys R Us stores without any luck. Then last night we end up at a Best Buy but there is major construction and the entrance I drove in through doesn't allow me to get to the Best Buy parking lot. Even better at the end of the drive I can only make a right turn, when I need to make a left. I made B get out of the car and walk. Good thing too. I got to the next intersection and couldn't make a u-turn and ended up making three left turns. Thankfully B emerged from the Best Buy with his game.

{four}: I am in pursuit of a 2008 moleskin calendar. I am thinking of going to the daily format, as the weekly format doesn't always have enough room. Now if only I could find one.

{five}: I got on line for the first time today at about 9:15pm.

{six}: I also had a sandwich^tm today. That deli has been in business 80 years. They know how to make a sandwich.

{seven}: And for dinner I had a Western Turkey Burger from Barney's. Oh, so good. B got the Turkey Pesto Burger which also was good. We split a basket of onion rings and I got an iced tea (instead of a rootbeer float).

{eight}: I the person you loved most in the world said that spending the holidays with his family rated a '6 or 7' (out of 10), would you just grin and bear it? I used to be able to hold my breath under water for a fairly long time.

on the night stand :: The Rough Guide to His Dark Materials (Rough Guide Reference)

it is still a beautiful world

"in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy."

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

I found this here. Thought I would share it.

The Pickle Presents have been sent! I am excited to hear how they are received.

on the night stand :: Pie

obligation

ob^.li^.ga^.tion
noun

an act or course of action that makes a person morally or legally bound; a commitment or duty.

ORIGIN: Middle English: in the sense [formal promise].


I only bring up obligation because I think it can make the world a little too black and white when it is used as your guiding course. Don't misunderstand, I think that obligation has its place. And I get why it has been used as a governance over people - it keeps things in order and makes it easy. But I also think it can quickly lead one down a slippery slope.

My Mother had this credo:

Say nothing that you can be held to, and nothing unless you are compelled to.

It has more to do with keeping yourself out of trouble in a legal sense (she did graduate from law school although did not pass the California Bar). But if you think about that last part and instead of 'say', substitute 'do',, you might get a better sense of what I am talking about. [Compel and oblige are synonyms, by the way.]

Can you imagine living your life only doing things that you were legally bound to do? If you had no obligation to a person, then you wouldn't have any reason to associate on a deeper level with much beyond your immediate family members. Sure you would have to obey teachers and be generally kind to your classmates, etc., but anyone outside the family really wouldn't matter. And family would only be those born into or legally entered into (i.e., marriage or adoption).

As I said, I can see why societies would be set up around obligation, but it really doesn't leave much room for the gray areas. What happens for example when you have no family to be obligated to? It actually explains why orphans are so often ostracized from society, as well as written about so often in literature. All of the great tales are centered around orphans for a reason - it allows the author (and his or her characters) to go to unthinkable places. It still happens today in movies (and books) - so many stories center around someone who has lost a parent (or a spouse).

My point is that while obligation in and of itself is not wrong, I just think it oftentimes needs to be challenged. Or at least thought through. Sometimes there are things that trump obligation. I don't think a piece of paper or shared blood should be the main reason you decide how you treat or interact with someone.



on the night stand :: Everything I Needed To Know About Being A Girl I Learned From Judy Blume

once i believed that la to sf was commutable

That was a l o n g drive. I forgot that people would be heading back to wherever they spent the holidays from today. The really weird part is that most of the backup wasn't accident related (thank goodness). It was just people who aren't used to driving the 5. Ugh. You don't ride your brake on the 5 - at least not as you are driving along California's central valley.

We arrived safely after over 9 hours on the road. I can usually do it in about 6.5, so this gives you some idea of how crazy it was. We stopped once to use the restroom. I ended up opting for the 'outside' bathroom, which I initially thought was a couple of port-a-potties. Part of me thinks that would have been the way to go.

I finally made it out of the zoo that was the parking lot, and was about to get on the freeway when I saw a CHP car with its lights flashing behind me. Thankfully, he was just heading off to an accident or something. But it did give me a bit of an adrenaline rush. It didn't help that there was a giant camper that had also just turned onto the road in front of me.

We did also stop at the Starbucks on Laval Road West. It was so crazy we used the drive thru. I had never seen that area so busy. It was a bit surreal.




on the night stand :: Apples For Jam

in which i admit toothbrush issues

Today was a busy day. We had books to return to the library and many steps to take before we head north. I decided to make stock from the turkey but realized that if I froze the result, I would be out of plastic containers. So it was off to The Container Store for me (I know, that sounds like a pretty lame excuse to me too).

Around this time of year, The Container Store sets up a wrapping paper wonderland, and in the center of it are some of the most clever things. This year they had a travel tooth brush container that automatically disinfects your toothbrush. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but I realized that while my 99 cent toothbrush holder from Target may be pink, it also had to be chucked after I found mold growing in it. Oh so gross. I got a new toothbrush and brushed me teeth at least 10 times.

These toothbrush holders are thirty bucks, but if they work, not having to worry about putting more bacteria in my mouth will be more than worth it. We actually got two. The only flaw I see is that they don't take into account that people travel together. I will share just about anything with B, but my toothbrush is where I draw the line. I caught him one morning with MY toothbrush in HIS mouth and lost it. He claims it was an innocent mistake, as he was still half asleep, but I still threw it out and got a new one from my secret stash. Anyway, the point is that there doesn't seem to be anyway to tell these apart. No color coding. Hopefully it will do well and they can add that in the next release. Until then, I will think of something.

B went next door to Best Buy and when he returned to find me at The Container Store he told me that he suddenly was famished. I hate when he does that. It isn't like he will starve. It made me lose my train of thought, but I think I got most of what I needed. We stopped at Starbucks and shared an iced tea and a slice of lemon loaf.

Our next stop was the Whole Foods. I needed a couple of potatoes to finish up the turkey casserole and B wanted to get some snacks for the road. We managed to get one bag of food for $29. That's about our average.

We then stopped at Target. B is looking for a game, but didn't find it. I, however, ended up finding the perfect pickles present. OMG! I can't wait to hear the reaction.

The turkey stock is in the freezer. So is the turkey casserole. One more turkey sandwich in the morning before we hit the road, and that is about it for the turkey.

The laundry is pretty much finished. Now we just need to pack and try not to forget anything.

on the night stand :: Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth And Modern Maternity Care

taking it all in

This is far from a great photo. But I think the messages on this poster (that was in a window on a store in Berkeley) are important.

They are especially important when we live in a world where people feel it is a good idea to go shopping at the crack of dawn. Some apparently even felt it necessary to skip out on Thanksgiving dinner and instead sit in a pup tent in line in the parking lot of a big box store! Even worse, some people felt that they shouldn't have to wait, and calls went out to 911 about people cutting shortly before the doors to the stores opened!!

I stayed in today. The goal was to clean up the kitchen. Not sure I did that 100%, but the turkey stock is just about ready. Most of the laundry is done. And I am hoping to finish a book that is due at the library tomorrow.

on the night stand :: The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters

the not lost recipes

The house smells like lemon zest, cinnamon and fresh thyme. All with undertones of butter and apples. If there were a perfume called Thanksgiving , this is what it would smell like. Why anyone would wear it, is a whole other matter.

Somehow focusing on the cooking helped me to calm down. Remembering that my grandmother went through all the trouble of making that stuffing every year, even though she didn't like it herself. Thinking of how my father (if he still breathes) probably misses his mother's cooking. Does he even know that I know how to recreate her dish? He would probably fall over and die if he knew I could make Great Aunt Margie's potato salad.

My Great Aunt Margie was actually my mother's aunt. She was my mother's father's sister. But she lived upstairs from my paternal grandmother (of the stuffing) for many years with her husband until they all in rather quick succession passed away. While she lived there, she was always cooking, even though the attic apartment didn't have much of a kitchen. She would send down potato salad in the late summer evenings, and by morning, it would be gone.

I remember coming home one summer and telling my Mom about the potato salad. My Mom remembered it from her childhood. She told me that the next summer, I would need to learn how to make it. And the next summer I did just that. I sat and watched my Great Aunt work her magic. That is another of those recipes that can't really be written down. It is a little of this, and a little of that. Plus there is just so much love that goes into it, that you can't just copy it.

They had some amazing looking red potatoes at Whole Foods. As I was picking out sweet potatoes, we talked about making my Aunt Margie's world famous potato salad instead of mashed potatoes. But mashed potatoes just seem essential to the Thanksgiving menu. Maybe for Christmas. Although it would be perfect with a turkey sandwich.

The turkey sandwich started with my Mother. She would buy Kaiser rolls with poppy seeds from a local Jewish deli and save them just for this purpose. Around 10pm on Thanksgiving night, she would go out into the kitchen (which was usually still looking like a disaster area) and start making a sandwich. She would grab out the Hellman's and layer on turkey and cranberry sauce, and a little bit of stuffing, which was warmed up a bit in the microwave. Sometimes we would share it; sometimes she would make me my own. She always said that a sandwich always tasted better when someone else made it just for you. That is so true.

on the night stand :: Martha Stewart Living Cookbook : The New Classics

thanksgiving is the fourth thursday in november

I didn't do it. I just couldn't bring myself to cook the turkey today. Perhaps I am more of a traditionalist that I will admit. But that is entirely it either.

If I am going to admit something, then I should confess that I feel like I am drowning. And this really makes no sense as I really have no pressure being put on me, beyond the pressure I put on myself, of course.

There will be no family or friends coming to dinner tomorrow. There is no one to impress or worry about. This should be easy, but it isn't.

I hate to say it, but I think I am becoming one of those people who hates the holidays. I hate that they remind me of my losses, and what I will never have. Of course some will argue that I never had it to begin with, and really I should just get over myself already.

But when at every turn it seems there are images and sounds telling you how things should be and they aren't, tell me it wouldn't drive you mad. And yes, a part of me is very, very angry, although I am talking more about madness in that last sentence than anger.

That first Thanksgiving after my mom died, as crazy as it sounds, I kept hoping the phone would ring. My logical side knew that it would never happen, but that hopeful part held out and kept thinking that nothing is impossible.

This grief will never go away. I get that. But it seems to build at this time of the year. It reminds me of the abomination of my family and mocks me. You see, one of my big issues was that I never felt wanted and now somehow here I am without them. And the lingering question of why does battle with me every day.

Tomorrow I will get up and make a turkey. The stuffing is my grandmother's recipe. One that was never written down, and could only be learned by watching and practice. I will reflect on all that I am grateful for as I busy myself in the kitchen, and try not to let this grief get the better of me.






on the night stand :: Martha Stewart Living Cookbook : The Original Classics

all turkey all the time

The cranberry sauce is done. The turkey is still defrosting. We are moving things up a day as we have plans to leave town on Sunday, and there is only so much turkey you can eat (and freeze). Plus B has to work Thursday, so it doesn't seem to make a difference.

I wish I could get more the spirit of things. There was a time when I got really excited about the holidays. Now it feels like I am in survival mode.

on the night stand :: The Book Thief

open (open) when?

I admit I like to shop too, but What could you possibly need to buy at four o'clock on Friday morning? That's all I am saying.


on the night stand :: Love, Stargirl

pickle presents

This is a tradition a friend started. The name comes from her childhood. It refers to presents that have been hyped, but turn out to be a big let down in the end. The present that started this tradition turned out to be an actual pickle - and thus the name.

Really they are just silly things. A few years back she picked a person and sent a box of pickle presents for the holiday season. The idea is to wrap up 25 of them in an advent sort of way.

I decided to join in the fun this year, and have been working on mine, but realize I need to get cracking. The goal is to have the package arrive by the first of December, and since I will be out of town then, it means I need to finish it before I leave.

I hope the recipient appreciates the end result. In this case it really is the thought that counts.


on the night stand :: Star Girl

a book review :: driving with dead people

My friend, S, let me borrow this book when I saw her while visiting Seattle. When I started reading Driving with Dead People, I thought it was going to be like Six Feet Under, but maybe darker. I had no idea how dark it would get and finished the book on the second night, staying up until dawn. I actually sobbed during parts of it, but I can't exactly explain why.

The book is the memoir of Monica Holloway, although there is a disclaimer in the 'Note to the Reader', stating that some of characters may be composites. I suspect this may now be required after the fiasco that was A Million Little Pieces. In some ways I hope that this is the case, although part of me wishes the author made this book up, because who would want anyone to go through what she wrote.

Monica is the youngest of four siblings, and both her mother and her father tell her that she was a mistake - they only wanted three children. That right there, might make it hard for most people to cope, but despite it all, Monica strives to make the best of her situation.

One of the father's hobbies is taking photographs and movies of accidents and bad weather. There is a great scene where he takes all four kids out to watch a tornado. When the kids don't think it is as fun as their dad does, he calls them wimps, gets them back in the car and drops them home so he can continue on his quest.

The title of the book comes from Monica's obsession with an eight-year old girl who dies when Monica is also eight. They didn't know each other, but Monica lies and gets her grandmother to take her to the viewing. Later, she meets and befriends the undertakers daughter, which eventually leads to the two of them (many years later) picking up (out of town) dead bodies at the airport.

If you like gut wrenching memoirs (think Running with Scissors and The Glass Castle), you will probably enjoy this one too. Sometimes I guess it does help to know that there are people who had it worse than you.


on the night stand :: Horns & Wrinkles

some of my favorite places to shop

If you shop online, you really should join eBates. I have been a member since the early days and have earned back over $500. Most stores give back only 2 or 3 percent, but that adds up. And you only need to earn $5 to have a check sent to you. If you are going to buy it anyway, why not save? Plus it is always fun to get a check in the mail. The stores (and discounts) change, but here are a few that I have earned money back from: Nordstrom, Smith & Hawken, Lands End, Apple, Cooking.com, The Gap, Eddie Bauer, Maryland Square, Kiehls, Dean & Deluca, Expedia, Uncommon Goods, Martha Stewart Flowers, and more. To sign up and get $10 (after your first purchase), use this link^*.

Now on with the show:

See Jane Work: This store has one retail location in Thousand Oaks, California. But if you can't make it out there, you can always shop online (which is how they started to begin with). They sell brands from Bob's Your Uncle to Kate Spade. It's all about making your work life more fun. It's a great place to find everything from a cool laptop bag to pencils that make figuring out your budget less stressful. ***BONUS*** limited time enter code DEAL25 at checkout and save 25% off your total order.

Danskin: There are few little girls who didn't grow up with Danskin. They are celebrating their 125th anniversary, after all. But they sell more than tutus and tights. They also have exercise equipment and clothes that will take you beyond the gym. Their online store gives you more options and usually they can get your size (if it isn't already in stock). Sign up for their newsletter to take advantage of special savings. ***bonus - they are also part of eBates***

Books of Wonder: If I lived in NYC, I fear this would be my second home. This bookstore has been around for years and as such is able to get lots children's books authors to visit. The good news is that if you aren't in the Big Apple, you can order books on line (or by phone). They even sell autographed books (although not personalized). Of course it is never as fun as meeting the author in person, but they do make nice gifts or additions to your own library. The easiest way to browse is to click on new books and then select the current catalog.

garnet hill: Another store that started as a catalog and moved online. They sell some of the most beautiful sheets made from natural fibers. They have been around for years and were green long before it was the 'in thing'. Additionally around this time of year their buyers usually find some clever gift ideas for kids and grown ups. This is also one of the few places I know that sells Hanro under garments. Oh, and they also sell women's clothing and accessories, kids clothing, and a limited selection of furniture and men's clothing.

MOMA: This is the store of the Museum of Modern Art in New York. They usually have quirky and fun and sometimes even practical things that make great gifts (or additions to your home). The best part is that you are also helping to support art.

Giggle: This store is geared for the under four crowd. They have retail stores in California and New York, but again, shopping online works too. Their philosophy is to seek out items that grow to meet the needs of a child. Some things are pricey, but the idea is that they will last more than three months. They sell everything from bibs to Bugaboos. Each item is rated for being Basic, Healthy, Space Saving, Responsible, Innovative, Good Value, Easy, Portable, Multi-Stage, and Tested.



on the night stand :: The Homework Myth

^*I'll get $10 too. But you can refer friends as well.

giving thanks

I can't believe that Thanksgiving (in the US) is exactly a week away. While many couples have great debates over which family to spend the holidays with, we have quite a different problem. We have the whole two turkeys in the freezer and no guest problem.

When we have been in LA, we have usually gone to B's uncle's house to celebrate Thanksgiving. Last year that turkey got around. B's uncle insisted on buying the turkey, but since their home was in final remodeling I agreed to cook it and transport it to their home on the other side of the valley. So the turkey was driven from one end of the valley, defrosted, cooked, and then driven back again.

All of that wouldn't have been so bad, but there were clearly some issues going on in the home. We think it had something to do with one of B's cousins. He wasn't at dinner and our inquiries about him were ignored. There was just an air about the place. It made the whole day, which was already uncomfortable, even more so. We were the only guests and shortly after dinner it was just the three of us (B, me and their dog).

This year it has been hard to make plans as everything has been up in the air for so long. It has been impossible to see much beyond the day, let alone weeks in advance. Meanwhile, I have been pushing myself away from people because this situation has just been too hard to explain. Everything has just felt so out of control that I haven't wanted to inflict myself on others. And thus I now have two 18-pound turkeys in the freezer and no plans.

This is one of the things I truly suck at - inviting people to do something. Like most people, I don't like rejection. But I am sure there are other issues at work there as well.

At this point, I would be surprised if anyone I knew in the area didn't have plans. And I also don't want to make it look like I am fishing for an invite. At the same time what does this say about me. Yikes!

The holidays are hard when you don't have family. They are hard when you do too. I don't miss the craziness of that. I am trying to be thankful for the craziness of this. I think we need to figure out new traditions.


on the night stand :: Everyday Sacred

thinking of summer

It was just shy of 90F here today in LA. It should cool off by the weekend (to 75F).

on the night stand :: The Life and Times of Thunderbolt Kid

seven random things (about me)

{one} The last book I read was Driving with Dead People. It made me cry. I can't entirely tell you why.

{two} For dinner tonight, I made pesto. My favorite thing is that I found frozen chopped basil in little cubes (at Trader Joes). It makes things very simple.

{three} Lately, I don't think I have been drinking enough water.

{four} I am left handed. My mother, father, and sister are right-handed.

{five} It is still hard to believe I once lived in the heart of downtown Chicago. Part of me really misses it.

{six} I feel so very lost.

{seven} I don't drink coffee. I prefer tea.

on the night stand :: Black & White

covered in oil

Maybe you have thought about it, but I suspect not. Did you know that the average distance an item on your plate travels is 1500 miles. I have heard that statistic before, but this morning while I was not quite awake, I also heard this tidbit:

Trimmings from grain-fed American beef are too fatty to meet federal health regulations for hamburgers....Instead of putting American cows on a diet, we ship frozen beef more than 12,000 miles by sea (from Australia and New Zealand) in refrigerated boxes.

Here is link to the entire program (both audio and transcript). This is part of a week long series called "Consumed".

If you think about that (and the energy consumed) too long, your head may start to spin. And yes, this is the beef that ends up in Big Macs and Whoppers. But even if like me, you haven't stepped foot (or driven through) one of these places for decades, a quick inspection of your fridge, freezer and pantry probably reveals some startling statistics.

While we were all busy reading the labels, checking for trans fat and salt content, we should have also been looking at where it came from. Sure there are certain foods like coffee, chocolate, and most spices, that can only grow in specific regions, but what about things that don't?

I know that Trader Joe's recently announced that they were no longer selling products made in China. This was more in response to scares about lead in toys than how far food was traveling though.

One of the things that I liked about Central Market (in Texas) was that all the produce had signs clearly marking where it came from. I know they are not the only store to do this, but they were among the first where it stood out. I probably also noticed it more because you have to weigh your produce so need to enter the code on the scale, which was also noted on the same sign.

I don't have the answers. I am not sure anyone does. Being aware is certainly a start. Learning more certainly couldn't hurt.


on the night stand :: The Abstinence Teacher

free lunch, a movie ticket and a turkey

Yesterday our plan was to go to the library. First we thought we would get lunch at our favorite Japanese place. They are open for lunch on Saturdays, and it has been months since we have made it down there for lunch. Unfortunately we were not the only ones with this idea, and we arrived to find a note of the door saying they were full! We went inside, and sure enough, there was no way they could squeeze us in.

We then realized we were not far from a Pasta Pomodoro. We hadn't been to one in Southern California. I had a coupon for $8 off, but I wasn't sure it was in my purse. We decided to go anyway, as we were both quite hungry by this point.

The place was empty. Shortly after our arrival, a party of one sat down, but beyond some people on the patio, we had the restaurant to ourselves.

They have a new brunch menu, so I decided to try their version of French toast. B joked that we were in an Italian restaurant, so maybe French toast wasn't the wisest choice. It was pretty amazing though. It had mascarpone cheese and strawberries on top. Oh so good. And not only did I find the coupon, but we got another one.

We then headed towards the library and figured out which movie was playing. We had a free ticket, thanks to the AMC Movie Watcher program, and had to use it by the weekend. We also wanted to check out the new AMC theater in Tustin's District shopping center.

We ended up seeing Michael Clayton. I wasn't sure what to expect. The movie stars George Clooney. He plays an attorney, Michael Clayton, who works as a 'fixer' for a large corporate law firm in NYC. The tag line is the truth can be adjusted. Tom Wilkinson steals the show with his performance as an attorney on the brink of madness, after spending six years of his life engrossed in a case that he has come to realize has merit (although he is being paid to prove otherwise).

We always stay through the credits. And low and behold, the name of someone I knew popped up. A former of neighbor of mine was the (additional) director of photography for the film. I worked for his (now ex) wife when I was in college. She was starting a business out of her home while recovering from major back surgery. He spent much of that summer in Montana filming. The major benefit was that I got to drive around their shiny black BMW with New York plates all over the west side of LA. That was the cool part of the job. The rest of it, as you can imagine, was pretty insane. But I am happy to see that he is still working, fulfilling his dreams. There are scenes in the movie that are breathtaking. The scene with where Michael comes upon three hours at dawn comes to mind. But I also like the final scene of his exit down an escalator and a cab ride that takes us through part of the end credits.

We got out of the movie after 10pm and decided to stop at the store to pick up some black tea as somehow we were all out. We then figured that as long as we were there, we should take advantage of their buy one get one, turkey sale. There are now two 18 pound Butterballs in the freezer. We have no real plan for the holidays, but we have turkey.

on the night stand :: Love is a Mixtape

pushing pies

It's kind of ironic that after somehow getting my hands on a copy of the pilot of Pushing Daisies before it aired, the Tivo didn't record the second episode or the third while we were in the Bay Area. So now we are behind in our viewing.

Last night we started to catch up. All I can say is that I really really wanted pie (with a glass of milk). I also wanted to know where they got those peaches.

But it was after midnight by then, and even in Los Angeles County it would take some doing to produce a really delicious pie at that hour. Polly's and Marie Calendars are both closed. The Apple Pan might still be open, but that's a good 40 minute drive from where we are, even without traffic. There are some 24 hour grocery stores, but I suspect that what would be found at the hour would be extremely disappointing.

I fear that I may have to start baking pies. Thanksgiving is coming up. But even with that, it is rare that I crave pie. I crave chocolate and I crave cake, especially chocolate cake. Last night I would have been happy with a slice of cherry pie.

Speaking of which, the DVD set of Twin Peaks recently arrived on our doorstep. I don't remember much about the series beyond the Log Lady and coffee and cherry pie (oh and who killed Laura Palmer). This doesn't sound like things are going to bode well for my waistline.

on the night stand :: Killer Pies

meeting mo willems

Since nothing really exciting happened today, it seemed like a good day to post about the Mo Willems' book signing I attended back in September. We had missed an opportunity to meet him when he was in Wisconsin (when we were in Chicago), so I really really didn't want to miss him this time around. In fact, in my moleskin planner, I wrote down every book signing he was doing on the western coast. Because this was around the same time B was interviewing in Seattle, I almost scheduled it so we would have caught him several times. Alas, that didn't work out. And in some ways it is probably just as well. B looked at my calendar and said anyone who didn't know might think that I was stalking the poor man. If anything had happened to him, I would have been a suspect.

We ended up seeing him in Irvine at A Whale of a Tale. There was a pretty good turnout, but not too large that things had to be moved outside. All the kids who came, sat down in front. Mo Willems really played to the kids. He read the new Knuffle Bunny book(it's K-nuffle, just FYI) and then took some questions. He reminded the kids that a question was not raising your hand and saying 'I have a pony.'

One kid asked if Mo had written Sponge Bob Square Pants. Mo laughed and said that he hadn't, adding that if had, he wouldn't be here. [The thing that brought him here and keeps him writing is his mortgage.] Another asked about his daughter. Apparently his daughter likes when kids ask about her.

Someone asked about the art in the Knuffle Bunny books. For those of you that haven't seen them, they are photographs with drawings. In the second Knuffle Bunny book there is an amazing spread of one of the circles in New York City at night. Mo explained that he took the photo in the middle of the night from the top of the Public Library. He didn't say how he repaid them for letting them be his tripod.

He also said that there is a lot removed from the photographs of Brooklyn. Things like trash cans and window box air conditioning units. It takes a lot of work.

He also read from one of the new Elephant and Piggy books. These are geared towards kids learning to read. He noted that they are especially hard, because the words he can use are limited.

We talked to him briefly during the signing. We mentioned that we were big fans of his show on The Cartoon Network,
Sheep in the Big City. He said that we were about 80% of the fan base. How sad. No one appreciates a good oxymoron any more.

In case you aren't aware of who Mo Willems is, in addition to writing children's books, he won several Emmy's for his work on Sesame Street. Two of his book are Caldecott Honor books. Here are some to check out:

Don't Let The Pigeon Stay Up Late
Knuffle Bunny
You Can Never Find a Rickshaw When it Monsoons
Edwina the Dinosaur Who Didn't Know She Was Extinct

He also has a website:

Mo Willems
Pigeon Presents
Mo's Blog


on the night stand :: Knuffle Bunny Too

the 37 days of starbucks

D i d y o u g e t t h e m a l l ?

In case you missed it, Starbucks and iTunes ran a promotion over the last 37 days. Every day you could get a free iTunes song at your local Starbucks. Of course it was not any one song you wanted, but one specifically chosen by Starbucks.

Here is the track list:

Jokerman -Bob Dylan
One Day - KT Tunstall
Night of the Iguana - Joni Mitchell
I Told You So - Keith Urban
Moon - Emily King
We Shall Not Be Moved - Mavis Staples
Roda - CEU
No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses
90 Milas - Gloria Estefan
You Picked Me - A Fine Frenzy
Show Me - John Legend
Gunslinger - John Fogerty
Looking For Elvis - Patti Scialfa
Maiden Voyage - Herbie Hancock
Happy Being Me - Angie Stone
Dark Road - Annie Lennox
Turpentine - Brandi Carlile
New Religion - Alice Smith
Lake Michigan - Rogue Wave
Hurry On Now - Alice Russell
Grace Is Gone - Dave Matthews
I'm In Love With You -Sonya Kitchell
Heaven - Bitter:Sweet
Got To Be Love - Greyboy With Sharon Jones
Sacal Bailar - Spanish Harlem Orchestra
Country Girl - Rissi Palmer
Pick Somebody Up - Raul Midon
Tell Me 'bout It - Joss Stone
Maria Jose - Federico Aubele
Love Song - Sara Bareilles
Consider Me Gone - Hilary McRae
Dreaming With A Broken Heart - John Mayer
I Got It (What You Need) - Galactic
Frank & Ava - Suzanne Vega
Day Too Soon - Sia
Only Momma Knows - Paul McCartney

The music comes from a wide range of genres and mixes old artist with new. Of course what they are trying to do is get you to buy the Hear Music CDs they sell at Starbucks and/or use your iPhone or iPod Touch or laptop to download iTunes while you are visiting a Starbucks. Many Starbucks have a special setup where you can see what is currently playing. One of the nice features is that it shows information about the previous song played for a few moments while the next song started.

We managed to get all but one (ironically we missed the John Mayer one, which turned out to be quite popular), and boy did it take some doing. We didn't go to Starbucks everyday, but almost. We visited some of our favorite Starbucks, along with some new ones. Thankfully we are big fans of the iced black tea, unsweetened.

p.s. If you have a bunch in your wallet or purse, be sure to redeem them on iTunes before December 31, 2007. That's when the codes expire.

on the night stand :: How Starbucks Saved My Life

writers on strike and what it means to la

Recently I was explaining to someone the difference between the Bay Area and LA. I have lived in both places, so speak from experience.

The way I see it, the big difference is that just about everyone who comes to LA wants to be (or finds themselves) connected to Hollywood. They want to be in the biz. In fact, at most large gatherings of people, you should not be surprised for people to come up to you to either brag about how they are connected, or to ask you how you are (and if you are not, don't be surprised if they walk away).

That is why this writer's strike is so scary. Let me step back and say that I totally support what the writer's guild is fighting for, I am just concerned about the little people who can get hurt and lost in the shuffle.

While most people have dreams of being (famous) actors or directors or producers or writers, most realize that you have to start somewhere, and so try and get support roles, aka support jobs at the big studios. If that doesn't work out, a wait job at a restaurant where studio execs are known to lunch isn't bad either. The other people who don't have these dreams (or won't openly admit to them), may still end up on Hollywood's payroll indirectly, providing goods and service to the stars. And of course, tourism is tied in big ways to Hollywood, just think Disney. You may not realize this, but there are few large corporations with headquarters in Los Angeles. It is Hollywood that keeps LA's economy ticking.

So as these shows start to close, it isn't just the writers and actors that aren't collecting paychecks. It is all the support people, and not just the ones you see at the end credits. Putting out a television series or a movie takes many people: lighting, sound, casting, publicity, catering, set directors, costume design, special effects, people to answer the phone, people to answer the mail, people to maintain the websites, cleaning crew, and so on. Outside the studio lot are the additional support people: from those businesses providing lunch and props to individuals providing child care and maid service. When you start to think about you see where all this is leading.

Meanwhile gas is over $3 a gallon and housing prices are starting to fall. It will take a lot before the big guys at the studios to feel this. For the little people it isn't going to take much at all. Life in LA is not for the weak or the faint of heart.

If you want a first hand account of a writer on the front lines, I highly recommend pamie.com. This is the blog of Pamela Ribon, who worked her way up and just landed a writing gig on the hit series, Samantha Who? (I'd link to the site, but she isn't getting paid). She is also the award-winning author of Why Girls are Weird and Why Moms are Weird. (Those links will take you to Amazon where you can buy her books and she will get paid.)

I will never forget when I attended her book signing. B and I arrived early and were in the cafe at Border's hanging out. When he sat down, about $40 fell out of his pocket. Pamie was sitting at a nearby table, and was kind enough to pick it up and hand it back to B, explaining what had happened. That is just what a class act she is. I am heartbroken to even think that my signed copy of Why Moms are Weird may have been stolen when our storage space was broken into. I so can't go there right now. But for her sake and those of everyone else that can be impacted in this, I hope it is over quickly, and that the writers are victorious.

p.s. If you are in LA, and want to go out and support the writers, here are the details.

on the night stand :: The Great Man

guide to reclaiming the holidays, or guilt is not a holiday tradition

Yes, I know that yesterday I was all about holiday cards and how even in early November, time is of the essence. This post may seem contradictory, but really it isn't. This is my annual day to rant about the commercialization of the holidays. Every year it seems I post this sooner, as the line of demarcation keeps getting drawn further and further away. This year I know I saw Christmas items moving in as the end of summer sale was starting to clear the aisles. They were already playing holiday carols on the weekend Today Show (I don't know why I was watching that either). Read on and take action.

Conversations with friends have reminded me that sometimes we all need to step back and remember what we are celebrating. I suppose I should step back here for a minute and state for the record that I love Christmas. I love the decorations – from the fancy themed department store window displays to the Charlie Brown Christmas trees. I love the music – my holiday collection is huge and I know it drives some people nuts. I love the traditions – from hanging stockings to special recipes that have been handed down several generations. I even love the cards – from finding just the right one down to the stamp that goes on the front. All of these things connect us to others and remind of where we come from. What I can’t stand is the notion that you have to spend, spend, spend – because that my friends is what tears us apart.

Don’t get me wrong, for those that have more money than they could ever know what to do with, I say go for it, especially if you remember the little people along the way. But most of us, aren’t close to having those kinds of problems. I’ll say it again because it still rings true: Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa is every day that we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and people who love us. The terrorists don’t win if you spend beyond your means and literally spend the next decade or more paying off the interest payments. When families are forced to live paycheck to paycheck so they can keep up with the Jones, no one wins. It truly is that simple.

If you sit down and get kids to open up, they really don’t want (most) a new bike or the latest video game system. Children want to spend quality time (a little one-on-one) with Mom or Dad (or both). Remember that when the urge strikes to go over your budget – think about how many late nights you will need to spend at the office to pay for it.

That doesn’t mean I am totally against the whole present thing either – I just think it should be done within the spirit of the season and your means. How many times have you received a present that a) was so not you, it wasn’t even funny, b) felt guilty because you knew the giver had spent too much, and/or c) wish they really hadn’t? True, there is something to the notion it is that thought that counts. But if you believe that, then be thoughtful this holiday season – to all parties concerned. Because, again be honest, how many times have you a) bought someone something because you felt you had to, b) had no idea what to get someone but got them something anyway, and/or c) went over budget because of these feelings of obligation and guilt? The holiday season shouldn’t be so painful. That’s not what they are about.

Fret not. Hope is not lost. Here is my updated guide to enjoying the season. It’s not too late to catch the true spirit of the holidays. In fact, there is plenty of time to turn the tides and make this the best holiday season yet!:

Set expectations. This is probably most important. Let your friends and family (including kids old enough to understand) you plan to do things a little different this year. Of course, be sure to share some of the highlights of the fun things you have planned instead, and let the excitement begin.

Get creative. Grab your local paper or go on line and see what’s going on this season. Maybe tickets to the Nutcracker (there is lots of great community theatre out there) and make a night of it. Where are the best places to see the lights? Pack some hot cocoa and bring your camera. If you belong to a church or synagogue, investigate what activities they will be offering (midnight mass isn’t always at midnight). Don’t forget your library. Chances are good there are fliers posted with music concerts, art making, and perhaps even caroling opportunities. Also many museums have free days around the holidays. Why not take advantage?

Get everyone involved. It’s no fun if someone does all the planning. Have a brainstorming session. Ask what they want to experience this holiday season. Make sure at least one idea from each person is included in your plans. Learning to compromise is important. Also assign age-appropriate tasks to help everything come together. Share the work of gathering information, ordering tickets, making reservations, inviting other, and so on, with the entire family so no one is overburdened.

Plan ahead. Sit down and mark out your plans, and make sure everyone in your family gets a copy. Remember that since you will not be shopping and running around like a crazy person, you will have time on your hands, so have fun and enjoy the simple joys of the holiday season.

Make a gift list Decide who you would like to give a gift and a budget. Here are so no-to-low cost ideas:

• Coupons. This was my Mom’s favorite and better received that you might think. Gifts of time (a day with you, baby-sitting, errand running, a week of your kid’s chores, etc.) are always appreciated. If appropriate, kisses and back rubs are nice too. Don’t forget to put expiration dates and if you like, make some redeemable for a particular time of year when you have more time/money.


• Use your talents. If you love to cook or knit or sew, the ideas are limitless. If you have a knack for music, put together a mix of your favorite songs. Did you take an amazing photo this year? Find an inexpensive frame and presto! If you have a dozen or so you love, make a calendar.


• Write a letter. Not one of those awful over-the-top-my-family-is-better-than-yours end of the year holiday updates though. Tell someone how you really feel. Let them know you care and think of them. Also what you hope for them. It is one of the simplest things to do; yet you’d be surprised how much this can mean to another. Speak from your heart and spelling and grammar won’t matter.


• De-clutter. There is nothing wrong with giving a gently used book if you think the recipient would love it. Ms. Manners and other etiquette experts all agree that there is no harm in re-gifting (as long as you don’t make the grand faux pas of giving it back to the original gift-giver). In this category you may want to add passing down a treasured heirloom or even a family recipe. Just think of the goose bumps you would get if someone presented you with grandma’s pearls or Aunt Ida’s infamous eggnog recipe.


• Donate. Give a gift to your favorite cause (or a cause the recipient believes in) in their name. Most organizations are happy to provide you with a card or letter for the recipient. Plus you may be able to earn a deduction on your taxes (no harm in that).


• Do their homework. No, don't go digging up an essay so your niece sails through English 101. Here I am thinking about someone on your list that is going on a vacation or perhaps moving to a new town. Why not put together points of interest, restaurants, and other places of note. Trust me, this could easily be the best thing they ever received.


• Draw names. If you have a big family I have heard this works great. Everyone draws a name and a limit is put on the amount spent. This would also work well in families that have seen a sudden rise in little ones - this way the adults don't feel left out.

Shop locally. Support your local artists at a holiday fair or family owned specialty shop in town.

Use the Internet. If you want to buy a big-ticket item or a must-have toy, do a search on Google. See who is offering the best price. Also use Google (or other search engines) to see if a particular retailer is offering free shipping or other specials. Click, click and you are done. Items can be shipped to your office to make things easier and keep from ruining the surprise. Also if you haven't discovered Etsy, the holidays would be a good time. Artists from all over the world offer amazing crafts and artwork, many at good prices.

Give back. Again, you should find some time opening up without all the rushing around or looking for parking at the mall. But just an FYI – soup kitchens usually have more people then they know what to do with on actual holidays, so try to pick a day when people are needed and you and yours will feel more useful. Adopting a family is a great idea if you can, or on a smaller scale most malls/bookstores/kids stores will have trees filled with ornaments that represent a child’s wish. Also don't forgot about thanking the folks who helped make your holidays a little brighter.

It's okay to wish. Don’t be afraid to use wish lists. If you have generous family or friends who would like to get presents (especially for the little ones), it is perfectly fine to have a wish list. People who don’t have kids are often clueless about what to get, or afraid of getting something the child already has or in the wrong size. That said, I wouldn’t necessarily advertise it, but if they ask, why not make it easy? And of course, if you do use one, keep it current! Is your wish list current? Save yourself the hassle of returns.

Oh, and don’t forget Buy Nothing Day. Instead of going to the mall the Friday after Thanksgiving, resist the urge to spend any money. As the site says, for 24 hours every November we remember that no one was born to shop. There has to be something you would rather do than risk your life looking for parking at the mall.


on the night stand :: Yo-Yo Man

holiday cards

One of my favorite holiday traditions is sending cards. I haven't really met anyone that doesn't enjoy getting "fun" mail, and I think greeting cards fall into that category. It may seem a bit early to start thinking about it, but honestly it is almost starting to get late, depending on the type of card and how many you plan on sending. And if you have friends and family abroad, getting cards in the mail on time, can be the difference between them arriving on Christmas or Valentine's Day.

I still haven't decided what I want to use for my holiday card this year. For the last couple of years I have been making my own. It sounds more complicated than it is, but essentially I have standard size photos printed and then stick them on pre-made cards. It becomes a bit of a production, figuring out what photos to use and then finding those last addressed. Usually I hope to get them out by mid-December, but am happy if I make it by New Year's Eve.

There are so many options popping up on the web. I thought I would share a few:

If you want to do a photo card with a picture of your family these looked awesome:

tiny*prints: I think the Tea Collection is my favorite, but I also love the folded story cards. I adore the ones with photos on the inside too.

Depending on how many you order, prices average out to about $1.50 per card. You upload your photo. In most cases you can add a personal greeting, and change things like color and fonts.

Moo Cards: Moo is based in London, so give yourself about a week to receive your order (in the US). The thing that really sets Moo apart is that you can put a different photo on each card. Plus you can add a message, picking fonts and colors. You can also make stickers (with your photos) which you could do all kinds of things with this holiday season. Just think of the possibilities!

paper + cup: These are much cooler than you standard Walgreen's photo cards. You upload your photo and can change some of the fonts and colors as well as add your own message. They are offering a special price of 25 cards for $58.

If you prefer not to scare people with photos of yourself (or your children or pets), here are some original ideas:

Moo Cards: Moo is currently holding a holiday card contest. As such there are now over a thousand photos you can put on your card. Some of mine are entered, including the photo above. Check out their Flickr pool. The best part is you can pick a different card for each one! Okay, even better - $1 from every set of ten holiday cards sold goes to charity - Médecins Sans Frontières. This includes holiday cards where you use your own photos.

If you like more tradition paper cards, here are some unique sources:

rock paper scissors: Lots of pretty cards for the holidays. These are a bit pricey, so you may want to be selective in who you send them too. Cool site too.

pancake and franks: With a name like 'pancake and franks' you know it has to be good. Very minimalist. Very gorgeous. Also pricey. They ask you buy at least six cards if you order on line. They do have a price break for multiples of the same card.

egg press: There are only a few holiday cards on their site right now, but it says more are to come. These are sweet and simple messages.

MOMA NY. If you like modern and different, this is the place to shop. Plus you can feel good knowing your purchase is helping support the arts.

Greenwich Letter Press: These guys are based in New York City, so as you might expect, their designs are hip and a bit edgy. Prices range from $3.00 per card on up. I cut them some slack on the squirrel card.

Hopefully you aren't as overwhelmed as I am with all these choices. Of course no one says all your cards need to be the same. Here are some other suggestions:

Start updating your address book now. I bet you know more than a handful of people who have moved this year. Also take a step back and make a list of people you intend to send cards to this holiday season. Then you can start figuring out whose address you need to update.

Next you need stamps. If you love square cards, remember that you need an extra postage. An extra 17 cents to be exact. So that's 58 cents a pop. If you want to skip the madhouse that is the post office the next several weeks, shop online at www.usps.com. Don't forget that at no extra charge you can also have priority mail boxes and labels delivered to your front door. In many areas you can even have them picked up for free too.

If you don't like the styles offered at the post office this year, why not make your own? You may not know this, but in order to be depicted on a US Stamp, you need to be dead several years. The only break US Presidents get is the number of years. So why not put someone you love on a stamp?

Once you got the cards, the addresses, and postage, all that is left if what to say inside. I skip the annual letter. I think they can be over the top and only alienate people, or at the very least cause people to make fun of you. I had a friend in college whose mother berated her for not being more like the kids in the letter she had received in a holiday greeting. I explained to my friend that much of that stuff is made up or at least stretching the truth. For example when they boasted that one son was considering the ivy league, what they really meant was that they were letting him pick one ivy league school to apply to, as they knew it was a stretch, and could only waste so much money on college application fees.

I try to write a note in each one, but confess it can be hard. Sometimes I feel like a broken record, and sometimes I just feel lost in terms of what to say. My general rule is to speak from the heart. To let the person know that I care and am thinking of them. That is after all, the purpose of going to all this trouble, right?


on the night stand :: The Used World

how many photos of cupcakes can i take

I admit that I have a love of cupcakes. There is something sweet and simple about them. What I am falling out of love with is the bakeries that are popping up, charging upwards of three dollars a cupcake, and hiring some of the least customer friendly people.

When we were last up in the bay area, we finally made it over to Kara's Cupcakes. They are located in Ghiradelli Square, which at the moment is undergoing a fairly intense makeover. When we got back to LA, we stopped in at Sprinkles (Newport Beach location) to check out their BOO cupcakes for Halloween. I get the Sprinkles email and was very excited to see cupcakes marked with little brown "b"'s. Now that I have tried both, I thought I would give my recommendations.

At Kara's we bought a Buttery Buttermilk Vanilla, a Raspberry Dazzle, a Ghiradelli Chocolate, and a Fleur Del Sel. Let's start with the icing. At Kara's they use a true butter cream frosting on many of their cupcakes. You can actually taste the butter. B liked this over Sprinkles. I also liked it, although I do like cream cheese frosting too. The Fleur Del Sel had a ganache frosting, which was delicious, although messy.

The cupcakes themselves were also quite tasty. The cake was quite moist and the flavors were true to form. The Fleur Del Sel was actually filled with caramel. Sprinkles doesn't offer filled cupcakes.

The service at Kara's was okay. We were there on a weekday afternoon, so there weren't any other customers. The woman behind the counter was friendly but not overly helpful. She didn't complain when I took a photo. She seemed bored, honestly. B had to go back to ask for a bag - I know, bad for the environment, but it does keep the box of cupcakes balanced.

The service at Sprinkles is a bit uptight. I don't know how else to describe it. As I said, I was quite excited about the "B's" as it is b's initial, and his name isn't common, so growing up they never had his name on pencils or license plates at souvenir shops. When I ordered our four cupcakes (red velvet, banana chocolate, strawberry and caramel apple (limited edition)), I asked if I could have one with a "B" on it, and the woman didn't even wince. Then while we are waiting, another woman calls me over and explains that the "B"'s are only if you buy the complete "BOO". I managed to explain, and she gave in, but still I felt like it was way too much work for cupcakes.

On a previous visit I watched as a little girl in front of me (about 7 years old), reached behind the plexiglass and starting fondling one of the cupcakes. She then jumped up on the counter and had her shoes on it! The ladies working didn't even wince, let alone tell her mother to get control of her daughter. Instead they scolded a patron for taking a photo. It was such a bad experience I would have left, had I not waited in line for 20 minutes because their system is not speedy. But let's move on.

Most of the icing at Sprinkles is cream cheese based. It is a perfect pairing with the red velvet. I think my favorite is still the strawberry. It tastes like fresh strawberries, plus it is a perfect shade of pink.

The cake is also good at Sprinkles. I really like the apple caramel. You could taste the granny smith apples. I still don't see the appeal of red velvet, but it is tasty despite that it has red food coloring in it.



on the night stand :: Cupcakes!

an evening with jenna bush

Background Note: I am a democrat, but I did live in Austin, Texas for five years. During that time Jenna and her twin sister, Barbara, were in high school and then college (Jenna stayed on at UT while her sister headed east to Yale). Their dad was the still the governor of Texas and they attended public high school. They were notorious for getting in trouble, usually for trying to drink beer at Chuy's, a fairly famous Austin tex-mex eatery.

I attended this event mostly because I was curious. I never bumped into any of the Bush clan when I lived there. It is also nice to see someone turn things around. Or at least try.

The event was hosted by a small children's bookstore in Irvine, just across the street from UCI. It is called A Whale of a Tale. This is where we picked up the last installment of Harry Potter over the summer. The store was around when I attended UCI, but back then all my money for books was going to text books, so I don't think I shopped there.

To attend the book signing part of the event, you needed a ticket, which essentially was a copy of the book purchased from the bookstore. Anyone could attend the lecture, which was held outside in the courtyard. Seating was on a first come, first serve basis.

I received several email messages about the event. They updated the details as they became available. There were to be no questions. We could take photographs but no posed pictures. And for security reasons, no large bags, strollers, and all that jazz.

I would guess there were probably 150 people or so in attendance. I am never good at estimating crowds though, so I could be off. It was a mix of ages, although honestly I didn't see many of the 14-18 year-olds that the book is targeted. There were young children, and many of them were invited to sit up front, which Jenna pointed out and appreciated.

We were told to arrive by 5pm, if we wanted a good seat. We didn't make it over there until about 5:30 and so ended up snagging seats in the last row. We actually had to pull up our own chairs.

Security was pretty intense. In addition to the shopping center's security, members of the Irvine Police joined forces with the Secret Service. Everyone who had a book signed, had to empty their pockets and everyone was wanded. I attended a book signing in Chicago for President Carter, and things were not this tight. Really.

The good thing is that things started promptly at 6pm. The owner of the bookstore introduced Ms. Bush and thanked those that had made the event possible, among them the Irvine Company and In 'N Out. Then it was on with the show.

Jenna thanked everyone for coming. It sounded like she had made earlier visits to two local schools that day, and was pretty impressed by the turnout here. Jenna's friend, Mia Baxter, is responsible for the photography in the book, and was also in attendance, but was "hiding as she usually does."

Jenna talked briefly about how after her days in Austin she headed to DC and taught elementary school. Then she joined UNICEF and found herself traveling the globe. It was fairly clear that she was a bit shell shocked by the conditions she found in Latin America. She described how there were areas with beautiful homes just around the corner from the shantytowns where peoples homes consisted of scrap metal and wood.

When she met Ana, she knew little about her aside that she had been infected with the HIV virus at birth and was now a teenage mother. She learned more, including that Ana had lost both parents and her sister to the disease and that it was dangerous for her to share her status with most. Jenna was most impressed by the fact that despite all the hardship Ana had endured, she had such a positive outlook and tried to not dwell on the bad.

The book is written for the teen audience, so I tried to keep that in mind as I listened to Jenna. There has been much criticism of the book because it is written in simple language. The chapters are short and number over 100. One of the things that bothered me was that when she talked about how it was dangerous for people to reveal their HIV status, she mentioned that they could be stoned - "when people throw stones at them." I wasn't sure if she thought people might think of the other definition - being high - or if she really didn't understand the severity of stoning and that it usually results in death.

Part of Ms. Bush's mission in writing this book is to educate; she also hopes to motivate people, especially teens, to get involved. The end of the book, like her talk, includes action people can take to make a difference. The goal seemed to be to let people know that it doesn't take much, but again, it felt very dumbed down and over simplified.

I actually worked with n-stage AIDS patients back in the early 90's. Ironically it was one of the few jobs I could find after college. It is probably one of the more difficult jobs I ever had. Even in the US, even in San Francisco, there is still a stigma attached with this disease. All of my clients were gay men, but they were three of the most different people I had ever met.

Jenna did read from the book. She pointed out that the chapters she read seem very depressing. She wanted to assure us that it does get better and that there is hope. I actually look forward to reading the book. Many of the reviews are more a review of Jenna's father, and I honestly think that is very unfair. I think there are few of us who would like to be judged by our father's behavior.


on the night stand :: Ana's Story: A Story of Hope

stepping back to move forward

In taking on the challenge that is NaBloPoMo, I realize that it might be easier if I try and plan things out a bit. Thirty posts means thirty things to write about. Plus thirty photos and thirty items to list on my nightstand. That is a bit overwhelming just thinking about it!

So I thought I would break things into smaller pieces. It would help me focus, plus let anyone who stumbles here know what is coming up. If I am really organized, I will come back and link to the posts as they come available. Of course, things are subject to change without notice. Here are some topics (in no particular order) I plan to write about over the next thirty days:

Jenna Bush book signing

a book review

creating a space of my own (in a home that isn't mine)

a recipe

my annual holiday rant

obligation

Mo Willems book signing

thoughts on weddings and marriage

giving thanks

pickle presents

something out of maggie mason's book

holiday cards

37 days of starbucks

a trip to the movies

the rock star life

a picture post

a few of my favorite places to shop

Okay. That is a good start. I have focus. I have something I can look out and say do this one! The rest should fill itself in.

on the night stand :: Maynard and Jennica

thirty days of blogging begins now

I managed to do this last year. And I hope to be successful again this year. I feel like I have been neglecting this space and my writing in general. Part of it, I thought, was having nothing new or good to write about. Actually that isn't entirely true either.

If you have been following along, you know that since we left Chicago in August of 2006, b has been looking for the next big thing. Well, it would appear that he found it:

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
--Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert

Of course, it isn't that simple. It is a contract position, which in February will be re-evaluated. At this point the job can be done from anywhere (with phone and Internet access), but part of the plan for the company is to open an office in the greater Los Angeles area. So for the time being, we continue as we have been.

Please don't misunderstand, I know how fortunate we are. It is hard though not really having a place to call your own. So one goal for this month is to create a space within these four walls that is mine.

It also means that looking forward, we can see the horizon, but not much beyond. Overall the prospect looks good. I just don't know how long b wants to talk about fish. I also don't see him working at a big company - at least not for a long time - so it still isn't clear what the future holds.

The big news actually came a week ago. I know, you would think that I would have been shouting it from the mountain tops. It just happened so fast and under rather bizarre circumstances:

We were staying at a hotel near SFO. I had stayed up the night before reading until 5:30am and so decided not to go into the city with b. He was going to a conference and meeting a friend for lunch. In between he was taking the call from Germany to make the job final. He called to tell me, but I was in the shower at the time. And then the fire alarm in the hotel went off.

The message he left was hard to hear and honestly even if I had been able to hear it I don't think it would have quite sunk in. Even b was having a hard time dealing with this new reality as he didn't bring it up with his friend over lunch.

The fire alarm turned out to be false. Of course. But it also hit home the fact that although the hotel may be in the final stages of a $7 million renovation, it is a fire trap. I watched as two women walked around in circles going 'where are the stairs'. Keep in mind we were on the second floor!

Automatic doors closed, but didn't lock, and blocked the area by the elevator. In doing this they also blocked the only way to get to the internal staircase which is by far the quickest way out of the building. They also blocked off the area where the signs are posted telling you about the fire evacuation procedures.

I was able to regain my composure and then headed off to Panera for a late lunch. It was there that b instant messaged me on gmail.In his phone message he had mentioned possibly meeting in San Francisco for dinner. That, he told me was a no-go and he was now in Livermore working. He suggested that I drive out there and meet them (his official co-worker, his wife, and their almost 2-year-old daughter) for dinner.

I left at five o'clock with the goal of arriving by six o'clock. It actually took me an hour and a half to get there! And even though I was driving solo, I put my purse and my phone in the back seat. Thus, I didn't get b's message that plans had changed.

When I arrived I was told that b was off to a business dinner and I was to meet the ladies downtown at a halloween event. I was a bit confused and somewhat upset. I still hadn't quite processed the whole job thing when clearly things were in full swing.

I followed them to the parking lot and then called the cell phone number I was given. It was now a quarter to seven and things were just about over. There were kids in customs running around everywhere with their tired parents in tow. I met up with the girls and we pretty much headed back to their house.

I felt terrible because I know I wasn't in the best of moods. Staying up too late, fire drill, changing plans, feeling out of control, still not talking to b about what this whole job thing means, etc. I also felt badly that I had been dumped on this woman to entertain. Honestly I would have just been happy to have picked b up after his dinner. I had things I could have done.

We ended up talking more when the guys returned. And then headed back towards SFO. It was after 11:30 pm, so the traffic was light, but all the ways to get across the water were construction zones at that hour. It took us another hour and a half to get back. We thought we made the right decision, crossing over on the Bay Bridge, only to realize after we exited the tunnel that they were shutting it down. All traffic was forced into the right lane and then off the bridge and into the city.

That's how it happened. We still haven't really celebrated. We need to do that as well. This is a big deal!

on the night stand :: Driving with Dead People