i did it

It is past midnight on the final day of November. All I have to do is publish this post and I successfully complete NaBloPoMo. Go me! The real question is can I keep it up for December.

Here are a few offers that are ending today, November 30, 2008:

Container Store: On line use code CLUTTERCREW to save 20% off everything. In stores, you need this coupon. We are going there today to get a trash can that can handle the garbage of 7 adults and one pre-schooler. Only The Container Store can make garbage sexy.

Williams-Sonoma: In stores for every $50 you spend, you get a $10 gift certificate which you can redeem after the holidays. As far as I know, no exclusions beyond the total of the gift card being $600 - but you'd have to spend 3K to do that, so don't think you have any worries. No coupon required.

Whole Foods: If you are tired of leftovers and heading out to the grocery store today, you can get $10 off at $50 purchase if you live in Southern California, Southern Nevada, Arizona or Hawaii. Be extra awesome and make some friends at the check out lane by printing an extra copy of this coupon.

Borders Books: If you have a Border's Rewards card, you may be entitled to some money. Today is the last day to use your rewards. Ask the cashier to check. It may only be five bucks, but hey, you earned it!

on the night stand :: Iodine by Haven Kimmel

the year of the family

As 2007 came to a close, B declare 2008 "The Year of the Family". So far little progress has been made. When B's parents and sister were here this spring, we couldn't even get them to sit down and have dinner with us. When we invited them out to The Getty Center for B's birthday lunch, they couldn't wait to leave. They didn't even stay to enjoy the art, gardens or special exhibits they have to offer. It was heartbreaking to watch.

It seems we get another chance to see "The Year of the Family" goes out with a bang. They are returning for the holidays. His sister, brother-in-law, and four-year old son who live on the east coast will be joining in the fun. They reportedly want to take their son to Disneyland for the first time. Not sure when they head back. But that reminds me I need to check out Alltop's new Disney page - just in the nick of time. Neither of us have been to the Magic Kingdom in over 20 years, and never with a small child.

At this point we have a couple of dates. The parental unit (which we believe includes the other sister) arrive on the 20th. The east coasters arrive the day after Christmas. B needs to be in Vegas for CES the first week in January, and since his office is on the Rose Parade route, I plan on seeing that parade come hell or high water.

To add to the mix, B's father wants to visit his brother in Oklahoma, who lost his son this year. We have no idea if they plan on heading out before or after Christmas.

We have been told to just go on with life, but that would mean we were taking a trip to New Mexico or the Bay Area. Still the question becomes how do you plan the holidays around this without ending up in the movies eating Chinese food on Christmas? Honestly though, that doesn't sound so bad.

_____________________________________________
In case you are wondering, B's sister does have two sons. The younger one has been baby snatched by his grandparents, like his older brother before him. We thought the parental unit would bring him back, and that this was the 'Reunion Tour'. Apparently not so.


on the night stand :: Iodine by Haven Kimmel.

a week of giving thanks pt 5

It's Buy Nothing Day. A day to say no to consumerism. In the US it falls on the Friday after Thanksgiving, also known as Black Friday. This is a day when stores lure customers in with promises of deep discounts earlier and earlier. This year many stores opened at 9pm on Thanksgiving Day. Others opened as early as 4am Friday morning. Who wants to shop at that hour? Again people lined up for hours to ensure they could take advantage of the best deals. Think a day like this isn't important?

In a Wal*Mart in Long Island, New York, a group of shoppers mobbed the front door at 5am and trampled a worker. The man died. Others were injured and taken to local hospitals. Among these was a pregnant woman. Reportedly angry shoppers refused to leave the store when employees explained the situation.

In a Toys-R-Us in California, two men pulled guns on each other. They both died. A statement released from the company said that it is unfair to characterize this incident with Black Friday, as the men knew each other. It still remains unclear exactly what caused the dispute. Does make you wonder though how many of your fellow shoppers might be packing heat?

So, what did you buy today? Here are some ideas for taking back the holidays.

If you were not successful, remember that Buy Nothing Day is observed internationally this year on Saturday, November 29, 2008. You get a second chance to buy nothing.

on the night stand :: Annie Leibovitz at Work by Annie Leibovitz

a week of giving thanks pt 4

Today is Thanksgiving in the US. I feel like everyone is in on a secret except for me. We arrived at B's Uncle's at the agreed upon time. We stood there for a few minutes carrying the food we had promised to bring. B rang the doorbell twice. No one answered. The dog didn't even bark. For a moment I thought we had missed something.

Thankfully B's cousin pulled up in his car. He had been out at the store. His parents were upstairs. Napping? Still there were indications that they really weren't into this. His cousin had his girlfriend and her friend over (the three of them went up to his bedroom to check out his new 40" TV). Maybe it was that. Or that their other two grown children couldn't make it home? It was weird. We were home by 6:30pm.

Overall it turned out well, but there was just something in the air. No one talks about anything in their family, so who knows what is going on.

Still, I try and remain grateful, especially for B and those I am fortunate enough to call my friends.


on the night stand :: The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick

a week of giving thanks pt 3

Today I made the pie - chocolate pecan. Tomorrow it's the turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes. Even though I am anxious, I remain grateful:

I have some place to go: It may not be my own family, and I may have been manipulated into making dinner, but being alone on the holidays is even less fun. In years past, I have invited the 'misfits' to join us. This was something my mother did, as she understood, as I now do, what it is like to be without family on the holidays.

Twitter: It is my latest addiction, but it keeps me connected to those I know, as well as has introduced me to new people.

Chocolate: It is my favorite fruit. :) Few things are better than chocolate. It makes life sweeter.

That I can cook: This is one of my gifts. It reminds me of those I love and miss as well as is a way for me to connect with others. I am glad I was taught to cook.

Music: I can't imagine the world without music. I need to remember to listen to some as I prepare the turkey tomorrow.

My thoughts and prayers go out to those impacted by the incidents in Mumbai today. It is hard to imagine what could bring someone to do such horrifying thing.


on the night stand :: Are You Ready to Play Outside?

a week of giving thanks part 2

Today I am thankful for cranberry sauce, not from a can. This is my favorite. It makes the house smell like Thanksgiving (and Christmas).

Cranberry Walnut Sauce^*
1 pound of fresh cranberries, washed and picked over
1 cup water
1 1/4 cup sugar
1 12 oz jar of red currant preserves (black current is fine, jelly works too)
1 cup chopped walnuts
zest of one orange

Combine cranberries, water, sugar and preserves in a large pot. Cook over medium heat until you hear them 'pop', then reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes. Skim off the foam from the top (although I don't see much of a difference if you don't).

Remove from heat and add walnuts and orange zest. Stir to combine. Let cool and put in airtight container and refrigerate overnight.

It's so tasty (and easy) you will probably want to make two batches. Besides, it is great on sandwiches. Don't be surprised if it just disappears. I always joke that you may need to check your guests bags before they leave.

_________________________________________________________

^*From Martha Stewart Cookbook, 1995


on the night stand ::The Thing About Life is that One Day You'll Be Dead by David Shields

a week of giving thanks part 1

This week Americans celebrate Thanksgiving Day. It is a relatively new holiday, only officially declared official in 1941. What was meant to celebrate the great bounty we have in this country has become two days of overindulgence in eating, watching football, and shopping.

With that in mind, I will spend this week focusing on what I truly appreciate, and sometimes take for granted (in no particular order):

The roof over my head: It may not be mine, and I may complain about it, but I know that we are truly blessed to have it. It is helping us do things we otherwise would not be able to do.

My library card: It has given me the opportunity to read many great books this year. Plus it is a quiet space with free WIFI.

My iPhone: I joke that it makes my bed and walks the dog (which I don't have), but truly it is an amazing little gadget. Recently it helped save us $20 at Whole Foods. Can't beat that. It also connects me to people and helps me find information. Need to learn to use more of its features.

In house laundry!: I truly feel the pain of anyone who has to use a Laundromat. It isn't fun, even if you can get a week's worth of laundry done in under two hours. The ones in this house may be 25-years old, but they work. Heck I didn't even complain when I cleaned out the mold under the fabric softener cup.

My digital SLR: It takes awesome photographs. It even has live-view. I need to use it more.

on the night stand :: My Mistress's Sparrow is Dead by Jeffrey Eugenides

a few things about today

*We got a turkey. Just one. The 2-for-1 turkeys were all over 22 pounds.

*Also got laundry detergent. Target is on way to the grocery store.

*Had first eggnog latte of the season.

*I still need to clean the oven (and write post about gift ideas). Haven't forgotten either.

*Learned that people who don't watch TV are happier people.

*Garnet Hill is having a Thanksgiving sale through December 1 on some great gift ideas.

*I think I am ready to change my gmail wallpaper already.

*Tomorrow I plan to make cranberry sauce.



on the night stand :: Feathers

turkey is on

Seems there has been a change of plans. B got a call from his Uncle this morning, asking if we would be willing to still bring a turkey over to his house for Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe someone else wasn't too keen on the idea of Chinese food either?

Of course this means that just when I have accepted the idea, there is suddenly this change of plans. It means we need to plan for more than pie. We started tonight by stopping at Whole Foods. We used two carts and put $50 of groceries in each so we could take advantage of our $10 off coupons*. We each were over about three dollars, but better than being under. Tomorrow we will get the turkey.

I guess this means I better clean the oven too.

*Coupon good at Whole Foods in Southern California, Southern Nevada, Arizona and Hawaii thru November 30, 2008 on purchase of $50 or more. Not good for gift card purchases.


on the night stand :: Ella Sets Sail

gift picks from vromans bookstore

Yesterday I attended an event with the buyers at Vroman's Bookstore. Initially I was the only attendee - there were three buyers! Thankfully two more people joined us, so it was at least equal.

The idea was to spend your lunch hour at the bookstore and learn about what the buyer's think are good bets for the holiday season. There were books, gifts, and stationary. All of the buyers were enthisiastic about their picks. And unlike what the chain bookstores offer up in their newsletters, most all of these titles were new to me. There were actually some great ideas for those hard to shop for - namely older men.

Here are the books that were recommended:

Great Military Leaders and Their Campaigns by Jeremy Black: This is a beautiful coffee table book. It contains concise and beautifully illustrated biographies of great military leaders from Cyrus the Great in the sixth century BC to Vo Nguyen Giap in the twentieth century. Perfect for the military buff on your list.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson: The author of this book recently died, but he left behind three mystery novels. This is the first. All three books will be published. Also each book is self-contained, so no cliff hangers to wait for the next book. This would make a great gift for a mystery lover, although the buyer noted that she wasn't a fan of mysteries, yet enjoyed this book greatly - it was hard to put down. You can read an excerpt here.

What Makes a Child Lucky by Gioia Timpanelli: This beautifully told novella is set in rural Sicily is about survival. A boy is kidnapped by the murderers of his best friend. A good gift choice for the women on your list that enjoy reading.

Obsessed with Star Wars by Benjamin Harper: This is a must-have for any Star Wars fan. With over 2000 trivia questions about the movies, books, comics, and games, even the biggest fan is sure to be stumped. There is a gizmo contained in the book that lets you select your answer and alerts you if you are correct (or not). In addition to the trivia questions there are photos and information about everything Star Wars.

Birdscapes: A Pop-Up Celebration of Bird Songs in Stereo Sound by Miyoko Chu and Cornell Lab of Omithology: This was the most impressive book I have seen in a while. The pop-up scenes are amazing. When you open a page, the birds sing. A pull out on the page explains which birds you are hearing. Great gift for bird and nature lovers.

National Geographic Society's Exploration Experience: The Heroic Exploits of the World's Greatest Explorers by Beau Riffenburgh: Another beautiful book. This one comes in a case and contains replicas of letters and maps tucked within its pages. Nice idea for a family with school aged children. It is like having a tiny history museum at your disposal.

The Lump of Coal by Lemony Snicket: Last year Lemony Snicket told us about latkes (see above). This year it is the story of a lump of coal. This is a very funny story about a lump of coal that escapes from a bag of charcoal who tries to find a brighter future. Great for all ages. This year's format is small enough to fit into a stocking.

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell: This book is sure to make it onto many lists. Gladwell is also the author of Tipping Points and Blink. He was recently interviewed on NPR. His ties Asian math prowess to growing rice and plane crashes to cultural norms.

A Platter of Figs and Other Recipes by David Tanis and Alice Waters (forward): David Tanis spends six months of the year in the kitchens of Chez Panisse, and the remainder of the year in France. This cookbook is filled with beautiful photographs and recipes that are simple to make and encourage the use of seasonal ingredients. This is a book any food lover would appreciate.

Next up: Non-book ideas!

hello turkey hotline

Hello, Turkey Hotline. I have a problem. I hope you can help.

I was feeling a bit sorry for myself yesterday. We have been invited to B's Uncle's for Thanksgiving. Normally this means I make the turkey and drive it across the San Gabriel Valley. This year it seems his Aunt is over all the work (possibly because her adult children aren't coming home), and so it is the local Chinese restaurant for us.

I am really not much of a traditionalist, but I do understand why traditions are important. When you take away the people who were key to your celebration, traditions like food can make the holidays more manageable - bearable even. There are times when I just wish the holidays would go away because they are a painful reminder that I don't fit into the norm any longer. My mother and sister are dead, and my father has been out of the picture for over 20 years - honestly he could be dead, I have no idea.

My Aunt and Uncle, the only family I still have contact with, invited us to join them. Unfortunately this was at the same time B was confirming we were going to his family's festivities. My Aunt and Uncle are vegetarians, so that wouldn't solve the turkey issue either.

I know it isn't really about the turkey, although three years ago I about lost at the grocery store on Thanksgiving Day because the event we went to ran out of turkey. Ironically we had missed out on the turkey because we made something for the vegetarians in the group and arrived late. We ended up up having turkey burgers around nine o'clock.

I just want to get through the day. Please send help (or a turkey).

--turkeyless in LA




on the night stand :: The Giving Tree

remembering oakridge

Many years ago I knew someone who lived in Oakridge, the trailer home development that was severely damaged in the Sylmar fire. Her name was Lillian, and we considered her our ersatz grandmother. She didn't have any children of her own.

My Mom became friends with Lillian at work. They both worked for a company in Long Beach. Lillian was a civil engineer (the first woman in California in fact), and my Mom was a purchasing agent. When my Mom started the job, she had developed sun poisoning on her mouth. It looked awful. Lillian was one of the few people who talked to her, and they became friends.

Lillian's husband was wheelchair bound. One day he called her at work and said he couldn't take being a burden, and was going to kill himself. She didn't believe him until she came home to find him hanging from the ceiling. My Mom drove out to Diamond Bar and we spent the night with her. I only remember getting up at 5am so we could get to school on time. We stopped at McDonald's for breakfast, and I remember my Mom being ticked that I had ordered pancakes, which took too long to make. Still, I think we made it on time.

Lillian decided to sell her home and moved in with her brother, Brownie, in Downey. At first Brownie wasn't sure about my Mom. He worried that she might be using his sister to get to her money. I don't know when it happened, but Brownie did warm up to my Mom and we were welcomed in his home. We often spent the night, so we didn't have to drive home late at night.

One time we spent the night because our house had to be fumigated. I brought my parakeet with us. Brownie would sleep in his camper in the driveway when we were there, and for whatever reason he mentioned having a fire extingisher inside.

That night Lillian fell asleep on the couch. She had left a cigarette burning and it set the room ablaze. The smoke detectors did not go off. Instead, Brownie's dog, Suki, paced in front of the room where my Mom was sleeping. My Mom thought it odd behavior for the dog and so got up to find the living room on fire.

After she woke Lillian up, she went outside to wake Brownie and get the fire extingisher. They got the fire out, and moved the charred duvan out to the patio. My sister and I slept through the entire ordeal. When we awoke the next morning it smelled terrible. I remember asking who had burned the toast. My Mom about slapped me as she knew Lillian felt terrible and even though I wasn't being snide, was not helping.

Lillian was forced to move from her brother's home when he died suddenly of a heart attack. She had actually been planning on moving, and was looking at various options. She considered a dome home. The plan at one point was for all of us to move to Oregon, but that didn't happen. Instead she found the mobile home park in Sylmar. She was impressed with their design.

I had to admit I was impressed too. It wasn't like anything I had seen before in a mobile home. It wasn't made of tin. It had a garage and a yard! There was a nice kitchen and even a washer and dryer. There was also 24-hour security, and a guard at the gate. I remember it being a big deal when we were put on the list so that they didn't have to call Lillian when we drove up.

We spent quite a few weekends and holidays there. Lillian's other brother, Bart, and his wife would often join us. My sister and I slept in the den, which was off the living room at the front of the house. There was a TV that had HBO, so we usually stayed up watching TV. It was where I first saw the video for the song, "Fish Heads".

Bart snored loudly. He often slept in the living room. The first time we heard him my sister and I thought there was a bear in the house. To be fair Sylmar is pretty isolated and the development backed into the mountains. If Bart's snoring didn't keep us up, the winds did. I remember those winds whipping through the streets. It sounded like a howling wolf.

Lillian passed away while my sister and I were back east visiting our father and grandmother. We actually learned about Lillian while we were staying at our Aunt's house. My Mom didn't want us crying about it. By the time we returned it was like life had moved on, and although I know my Mom love Lillian dearly she rarely talked about her. She did keep a photo displayed in her bedroom of Lillian. In the photo Lillian is with a group of their old work friends at one of the parties they had had.


on the night stand :: Listening is an Act of Love

busy bee

It has been a busy day, although I feel like I have gotten little done.


on the night stand :: Juicy Pens Thirsty Paper

six impossible things

'Now I'll give you something to believe. I'm just one hundred and one, five months and a day.'

'I can't believe that!' said Alice.

'Can't you?' the Queen said in a pitying tone. 'Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.'

'Alice laughed: 'There's no use trying,' she said; 'one can't believe impossible things.'

'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.'

–Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

So maybe these aren't exactly impossible - I'm still practicing:

{one} I watched the pedometer turn 200,000 miles this morning while on the 210 freeway in Pasadena.

{two} The house is unharmed. Very grateful for that.

{three} B's godson stayed behind with his paternal grandparents & is now halfway around the world from his parents and brother.

{four} The cows gave books to needy kids in LA.

{five} I used the Men's Room (the Women's Room was out of order).

{six} There is a reindeer on the roof of the J Crew store. It is sitting on a giant red ornament, waving.

on the night stand :: Alice in Wonderland

the heat of los angeles

The the three red lines that I could see from the window combined to form one long red line of fire overnight. I ended up turning the news on around 3am. The fires had indeed met up and were hoping to come full circle. I drifted off and awoke to news that the city of the day was Diamond Bar.

The house was still out of harms way, and as long as the winds cooperate, should be fine. The real issue was keeping the fire from jumping the freeway, which was shut down.

The helicopters and planes really make a big difference, but can only operate in the daylight because of safety concerns. Thankfully the winds died down too, allowing the firefighters to make great progress. They evacuated part of the city, including Snoop Dog, but the house was technically about a quarter mile from mandatory evacuation.

There is no way I would stay at home without a car, so will go into the office with B tomorrow. Hopefully there will be no surprises when we return to the house sometime tomorrow evening.

on the night stand :: Lady of the Snakes

fire escape

I know you are not supposed to yell "fire" in a crowded room, but that is what it feels like everyone is doing right now. Currently I am in lobby of a hotel in Rancho Cucamonga. There is a bar, and it is probably a good thing that I don't drink.

The fire that started around 10pm last night in Sylmar turned into quite a force. Almost 24 hours later, it is under 50% contained and over 500 people are now homeless.

Meanwhile A fire that started in Corona this morning, became the Yorba Linda fire when it crossed into the city limits. Across the freeway a brush fire started in Brea. It jumped the 57 freeway and joined the Yorba Linda party. They closed the 57 an exit up from us, and we decided it was time to leave town.

Actually we had already made plans to leave town. We just decided to leave town earlier and with a lot more stuff than one would take on an overnight stay.

I am still not sure how I didn't have a full on panic attack trying to figure out what to put in the car. You can answer the question all you want in theory, but when it comes down to it, you never really know what you would take if you thought there was even a possibility of coming back and finding your house had burned down.

I have my passport, and my social security card. I brought my Teddy Bear who is over 30 years old and has survived fire and even decapitation. My favorite clothes are all in the laundry basket - I left them. I am however, wearing my $80 bra.

Choices like these bring me back to that night in Chico. The night we left our father. The night we popped the screen from the second story window and tossed down our stuffed animals and clothes. In our haste we left our school shoes.

My mantra is, "we are safe, and that is all that matters." Things are just things, and can be replaced (for the most part).

From what we have seen on the news, the house should be safe. But where this fire heads is uncertain because of the winds. Even 15 miles away, we can see the red flames in the hills. It looks like an unhappy dragon, slithering around the hillside. Let's hope it is not too hungry. Homeless sucks.



on the night stand :: A Way Home

just another day

Books were due at the library, so we headed to the OC. Luckily we were against the traffic, but I still jumped into the carpool lane. It is actually cool to take the carpool lane when you can exit to another freeway without leaving the carpool lane. I took the 57 to the 5 to the 55 to the 405, all without leaving the carpool lane. Saved us a good 15 minutes.

Once the books were dropped off, we stopped in at Sprinkles. There wasn't a line, and the women working were not as snotty as usual. They have Thanksgiving flavors coming out for the holiday, but I think pie is more a Thanksgiving dessert.

From there we headed to Fashion Island. I bought a shower curtain. Why are they so expensive? Even with a 20% discount, it was still pricey. Restoration Hardware is having their big Friends & Family sale. They have coupons at the check out lane, although we printed one out. Sale is also good on line (coupon code there too), and ends the 16th of November.

We had dinner at Cafe R&D. They are part of a group that owns Bandera, where we had dinner last week. They had the veggie burger. I had the Newport Chicken Salad, which is served deconstructed. Even though the waitress warned me, I almost thought the wrong order had arrived at our table.

Last stop was Whole Foods. B found this recipe for Butternut Onion Galette. I will make it this weekend. I also got another pumpkin, so I can make pie for Thanksgiving. We actually checked out around quarter to ten. It was surprisingly busy.

Driving home the winds were pretty gusty. The civic got blown around a bit. We are not under one hundred miles from the 200,000 mark.

Arrived back at the house to turn on the news and see that Slymar is on fire. Pretty scary. We can smell the smoke from the other side of the San Gabriel Valley.

on the night stand :: A Penguin Story

booth stays number one

Today BusinessWeek released its rankings for the top business schools in the United States. These results usually come out earlier, but were postponed because of the election.

Once again the University of Chicago, now the Booth School of Business, holds the top slot. The remaining top ten (in order) are Harvard, Kellogg, Wharton, Ross, Stanford, Columbia, Duke, Sloan and Haas. The full report can be found here.

With the economy in its current state, schools expect that MBA applications will be higher than normal. Already there is an increase in the number of people taking the GMAT. Business School is not a bad place to ride out a dismal economy. When the economy is booming, there is usually a slump in MBA applications. Go figure.

If you are applying to the University of Chicago, here's a tip - don't call the school the BSB. Call it University of Chicago, Booth School of Business or even just Booth.

on the night stand :: Listening is an Act of Love

memories of the spa

When I was in high school, my Mom decided we should spend Christmas at a famous spa in Mexico. Normally you had to be 18, but they made an exception over the holidays. It was the first time either of us had really been to a spa, and at times it felt like we were in an episode of I Love Lucy.

Our package included a body wrap. We weren't really sure what that was, but figured we could try it. We walked into a room that had a row of tables. The floors were dark wood, and there was a large wooden light fixture (think wagon wheel) hanging in the middle. There were already several women on the tables, completely draped in white linens. The room was silent. It looked like a morgue. A morgue in the wild wild West.

We were told to disrobe, and lie on the table. We were then covered in seaweed soaked towels. I felt like a mummy.

Two of the women next to us had the same feeling, and started cracking jokes. A few of the other women didn't appreciate them, and told them to hush. It was hard not to giggle. It went on like that for the rest of our session. It was a very long half hour.

Later that day we went to an aerobics class. We knew we were novices. We thought we were doing the smart thing - standing in the back. Of course the instructors were like magnets to us. Suddenly we each had an instructor moving our bodies into the correct pose. Ouch!

That's when I realized that maybe I was better off hanging out with the "older" ladies. There was a water aerobics class they seemed to be signing up for, so I decided to join them.

The instructor started us out a ball exercise. The idea was to sit on the ball and balance yourself in the water. Within a few seconds there were several whooshes as the balls popped out from under us, and out of the pool. This was followed by uproarious laughter. The teacher ran around the pool, tossing the balls back in the water. We each tried again, with similar results. The instructor got miffed and made us give back the balls. She really thought our laughter was out of line.

We managed to get through the class without further incident, although the laughter continued. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. After the class we decided to use the sauna. First though a couple of the ladies had to run an errand. That left me and another woman to figure things out.

I had been in a sauna before, but it had been a while. We found a temperature control on the wall and set it. Then we sat down on the wooden bench.

It didn't feel as hot as I had remembered. I noted this to the other woman, and she agreed. I also said I recalled there being hot rocks that you poured water on to release steam. After a bit though we convinced each other that it was indeed getting warmer.

That was about the time the other three women returned. They wanted to know why we weren't in the sauna. Thankfully this was a coed sauna, so we weren't sitting in the area outside what we thought was the sauna naked -now that would have been truly embarrassing.

The sauna was behind the door. In our defense the door was mirrored, and the handle was not obvious. One of the other women opened the door and we laughed. It was hot in there and there were rocks. Part of me hoped I would just melt away.

Of course at dinner my new water aerobic chums decided to sit with my mother and me, and tell her of our adventures. My Mom always found it entertaining to learn how "smart" I really was.



on the night stand :: Such a Pretty Fat

remembering

I remember odd things about the houses that I have lived in. The vibrant aqua tile in the bathroom. That there were two closets in the hallway - on where we kept our dog's puppies for a while.

I remember the oven that baked the lopsided cake because the rack was crooked. I helped my Mom fill it in with extra frosting so she could bring it to work without too much embarrassment. It was also in that oven that I dropped the chicken, roasting within, onto the floor. I ran outside to tell my Mom and she came in and helped me rinse it off, and cook it - otherwise there would have been nothing for dinner.

I remember when the lights went out and my Uncle Bobby played the Boogieman and scared me half to death. I remember the purple plush sofa. And who could forget the spinning kitchen chairs?

I remember all these bits and pieces because they are a part of me. They remind me of where I came from, but most importantly they help me remember you.


on the night stand :: Lady of the Snakes

support the job free

It seems like everywhere I turn, someone is talking about someone they know losing a job. Having been there, I can say it is a tough thing. It isn't just about the money. For many a job is a large part of their identity. It makes sense given that when meeting new people one of the most frequently asked openers is, what do you do.

With that in mind, I thought I would offer a few ideas on how to support family and friends who may be in this position. Again, it isn't always about money, but that can't hurt either.

One of the most important things to remember is that job loss, although it may sometimes seem that way, is not a disease. Nor is it contagious. Avoid treating someone who has lost a job like they have the chicken pox.

Also, don't make every contact you have with your friend be about job searching. Trust me when I say that your friend is aware that they don't have a job.

Make sure you have a copy of your friend's resume, or at least have a general idea of the type of job they are looking for. This will help ensure that if something comes your way, you are not wasting anyone's time.

Listen to your friend. Check in and see how they are doing. Ask what you can do to help.

Don't be surprised if you friend seems to become aloof. It isn't personal. They have a lot to process and may feel overwhelmed or like a burden. You may need to be the better friend this time.

When inviting a friend who has lost a job out, keep in mind that his or her budget has tightened. Suddenly a movie or sushi night may be a luxury. Maybe it is time to dust off the DVD player or those board games in your closet.


on the night stand :: The Elephant Wish

martha book signing

Today we went to Vroman's Bookstore in Pasadena for the Martha Stewart book signing. Martha was signing her 66th book, Martha Stewart's Cooking School: Recipes and Lessons for the Home Cook. I didn't realize when we bought our books a couple of weeks ago, that our tickets were numbered. Turns out we were 81 and 82, so got to be pretty near the front of the line of what was close to 400.

Parking was our first and really only issue. The lot was crazy, and people were started to get a little huffy. We ended up paying for parking, but worth not fighting over a parking space.

The signing was held upstairs, but we were lined up around the perimeter of the store. Groups of 15 or so were let in as the line moved up the stairs. The event was set to start at 4pm. Martha arrived early and those with small children or handicaps were taken care of first. We were done by 4:40pm, so not bad. The line was still snaking around the front of the bookstore when we left around 5:15pm.

The highlight of the signing was a guy a few people ahead of us, Tony Briant. He told Martha that he loved her daughter's show. Martha was thrilled, picked up her cell phone and tried to get Alexis on the line. She got her answering machine, and Tony left a message. It is in the video above.

I found the video using Twitter Search. It comes from Anotorias also found a couple of other people who were there. Vroman's is on Twitter, but really missed an opportunity to connect with their customers today. They need to read Twitter Revolution.

Tomorrow Martha Stewart will be at B&N in Glendale at 11am. There are no details on their site. I called and it appears they are handing out wristbands when the store opens at 9am. A wristband guarantees that your book will be signed. They did not know how many they will be giving out though. It was recommended to arrived before 9am though. It should be a zoo. Still a part of me wants to go because I have a copy of the book I would love to have signed. Don't ask. And yes, I know I have issues.

on the night stand :: Martha Stewart's Cooking School: Recipes and Lessons for the Home Cook

reaching out

There is a growing list of people that I keep meaning to email. I don't know what keeps me from just doing it. It isn't that difficult. Click compose, type and send.




on the night stand :: For You Are A Kenyan Child

some randomness

Tonight I am baking a pumpkin pie completely from scratch. I roasted the pumpkin and pureed it. I also make the crust.

Today we went to Claremont so B could got his shaggy hair cut. He told the woman who cut his hair that he was going on a job interview. Apparently he always says this to a new hairdresser (or one he hasn't seen in a while). I was a bit surprised when she said, "Good luck - hope you get the job!"

When we walked outside, I asked B if he had something to tell me. Had he been pretending to the office in the morning, but instead going to his coworker's house to play Guitar Hero? He explained his little trick to get a better hair cut.

On the way back we stopped at Fresh & Easy. One of the things I love is that if you spend $20, you can get a coupon for $5 off your purchase. They also will let you try any product in the store.

B found frozen shu mei. He wasn't sure about them, since they didn't have pork, then remembered what he had heard. So he walked over to the samples area, and asked if he could try them. With a smile, the woman said sure. He just needed to stick around for a bit while she heated them in the microwave.

They weren't bad, but not what he was expecting. We ended up not getting them. To be fair, we had just have what had have been called the best dumplings in the San Gabriel Valley last night, so I am not sure what would have lived up to that.

We had been back at the house for a bit when we had two different people come to the door almost back to back. It was like one was waiting in the bushes until the left. The first wanted to clean the carpets at no charge. I sent him away. The second was collecting for this charity that feeds the hungry by painting house numbers on curbs. B gave her a check for the average donation - $13.

Okay pie is ready.

on the night stand :: This I Believe IIou

i did something cool today

B forwarded me an email he received from the University of Chicago, Graduate School of Business (GSB) about a historic announcement. They were streaming it live, so at 3pm PT I joined the party. It was almost like being back in the Winter Garden.

Beforehand we tried to guess what the big announcement could be. We figured with all the news about appointments to Barack Obama's team, perhaps several of the GSB faculty had new jobs. We were wrong, and that has been done before, so not exactly "historic".

It turned out that David (class of '71) and Suzanne Booth, had given the business school an endowment of $300 million. This is the largest single gift any business school has received. The school announced the $100M Booth Matching Fund - also the largest matching fund in business school history. It was further decided that the business school would now be called The University of Chicago, Booth School of Business.

Since I had Twitter open, I told the world (all 200 something of my followers) what had just been announced. Apparently I scooped The Wall Street Journal, among others. It isn't like I told the world, or was the first to know (reportedly there were 3000 people logged in to view the announcement). And clearly this has been known for a bit as at the end the current students were invited to take Booth swag after the event.

Of course I immediately went to the GSB bookstore, as B wears his GSB tshirts often. Hate for him to be out of style. There wasn't anything there, but I did email. Hopefully I will hear back soon. B said he also needs a new decal for the car - the one that has almost 200,000 miles on it. It looks like the site is under construction, so maybe that is good news.



on the night stand :: Not A Box

martha is coming to town

On Sunday I get to wait on line in Pasadena for the Martha Stewart book signing at Vroman's Bookstore. I am getting a bit excited.

I found out about the signing in a round about way. We get Everyday Food, and I was flipping through the current issue when I saw a list of book signings. I was so excited to see that there were two events in Southern California!

I stopped what I was doing and went on line to find out more. Vroman's had information. Unfortunately I couldn't do anything about it right then. I had to go to the store and purchase a book, and get a ticket to the signing.

I also checked out the event page at B&N. There really was no information except for the date and time. All the links took me back to the book purchase page (or directions). It was really lame.

The next morning we drove over to the book store. It was hopping. We found books (there were plenty), and got in line. It is the first time I waited so long to buy a book. But good for Vroman's - I think it is important to support the independent book stores.

This will be my second Martha Stewart book signing. The first one was in Chicago. It was crazy, but fun. The first person in line arrived on Michigan Avenue at 5:00am (book signing was in the afternoon, although once we got numbers we had a break before we had to be in line). A local restaurant made one of the cupcake recipes and passed them out to the first 150 people or so. It was sad to see people not get cupcakes, but it was also over the top watching the things people did to try and get one. We also got a goodie bag from MSO. It had chocolate chips, olive oil and a current Martha Stewart Living.

I have not been to a signing at Vroman's, so I have no idea what to expect. I am also torn because I had preordered a copy of the book, and don't know if I should try to get it signed as well. At the Border's event I had books I had bought at a couple of stores. We were allowed to get 3 copies signed. They made amazing Christmas presents.


on the night stand :: Martha Stewart's Cooking School

we have a winner

Today I voted. A wrong turn put me in the parking lot. The in gate was open, but the out gate was closed. I ended up going out via the in gate.

Then the left turn I needed to make was closed. So I had to go back to our development and start over. Really all I needed to do was go straight at the light, but the sign that said "polling place" was turned, so I only saw it after I turned. In my defense there are three churches in that space.

Once I arrived at the polling place, finding the room was easy. Finding my name on the roster was another story. It was not there. Really I was not surprised. I registered before the deadline. I knew my registration was valid because I went to LAVote.net.

I had to vote provisionally. Not a big deal. Took a couple of extra minutes. There was no line. There wasn't anyone voting when I left. It was kind of sad really.

I also learned that I am the first person ever registered at this address in 25 years. Now that is sad.



on the night stand :: The Opposite House

on hold

I love libraries. I love books, so the idea that there are these places where anyone with a library card can borrow reading materials, whether for research, school, or just the pleasure of reading, fills me with joy.

Currently though, I am a bit annoyed with my library. Their hold policy is driving me a bit batty. I currently have a book checked out, and someone has placed a hold on it. I get that it is not my book, and I need to learn to share, but the thing is there are four other copies of the book at the library. Despite this the system will not allow me to renew it.

I confess that I once placed a book on hold that was on the shelf. I did it because I had learned about the book from a popular newsletter, and figured I would not be the only one looking for it.

I called and asked about the hold issue and was told that the person in charge of doing the hold requests wasn't coming in until after 5pm. Normally she comes in earlier. I was told to try to renew the book again later today or tomorrow.

Of course when I just tried, the hold was still there, as were the four copies on the shelf. I don't want to have to argue over a twenty-five cent fine - it sounds petty - but really it is the principle of the thing. I don't want to pay for someone else's laziness.

Even worse the library just paid a large sum of money to update its system. So far, I am underwhelmed. Initially it actually checked in books that were checked out to both me and B. When we brought this to the attention of the library staff, they didn't seem too concerned. Then again, maybe this is something built into the system to pay for it. Really though the solution is charging a small fee for hold requests.

on the night stand :: Ordinary Sparkling Moments

election

I was thinking about how we learn about elections and voting. Some of us are taken to the polls by parents or grandparents, but for most of us we learn about running for office first-hand in school - during student council elections.

The high school that I graduated from, an all-girls Catholic college prep, had a very interesting take on elections. For starters, if you ran, you simply ran for student council, and not a particular office. It seemed pretty odd to me, but it was explained that this took the ugliness out of elections.

Since no one was running for office, there were no posters in the hallway saying "Vote Ashley for President". I am not 100% sure, but I know that campaigning of any kind was kept to a minimum. If we were allowed posters, everyone running was allowed the same space. I want to say though that were weren't allowed posters or buttons or cupcakes or candy.

The one thing I know for sure is that we gave speeches in front of the class. I think my class fit into the Chemistry lab. I think we did it during lunch, but I could be wrong. We had a specific amount of time to explain why we were running, and how we would serve the student council.

Then everyone voted. This is where it got even more interesting. Since as I mentioned, there were no candidates to place under an office, every one's name was simply placed on the ballot. You then ranked your classmates in the order you preferred them, from 1 to the number of candidates.

The candidate who received the lowest number, was asked which position she wanted to hold. Most likely she would choose to be president, but she could pick whichever office she felt suited her. Then the student who got the second lowest number would pick, and so on, until all of the offices were filled. Somehow it worked out, and the person people expected to be president or treasurer, ended up in those roles.

I actually ran for office for my senior year. Of course that meant we held elections in our junior year, earlier than I would have expected. Anyone running for office was required to get a permission slip signed by her parents. It seemed a bit much given that you had not been elected, yet I guess it kept there being problems with someone winning and not be able to serve. It was a good lesson for when I worked in a company that required I get permission to apply for an internal position before I had gotten the job (or the job had even technically been approved by management).

I still remember going into my mother's room to get my permission slip signed. She was still asleep. I didn't want her to make a big deal about my running for student council. I was quite vague about what the permission slip was for. I feared that if I didn't win, I would never hear the end of it. She groaned, but signed it. I did tell her what it was for.

I didn't win. Despite trying to take the politics out of the election, it still boiled down to basic human nature. People voted for the girls they knew and liked. I was the new girl, and as such, an outsider. I talked about new ideas, when my fellow students really were not interested in change. There were only 100 girls in my class, and many had been together for a long time. I was devastated when the call came that I had not won a place on the student council. I think there were only two of in this position. I had also tried out for the flag team, and was the only one not to make it despite having two years of drill team. I was notified of both of these failures on the same evening, and still showed up the next day to school.

My moment did come though. I was made captain of the Academic Decathlon team. I had won over one of the teachers, a nun, and she lobbied for me. Since it was the first year the school had entered, I was put in charge of calling and getting the details. I remember when I met the woman I had spoken with - she was shocked to learn I was a student, and not a teacher.


on the night stand :: Run

the day of the dead

Today is Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos. It is celebrated in Mexico, and other Spanish speaking countries. It is not a day or mourning, but rather a day of celebration. Alters are made and favorite foods are put out to invite the dead to join in the party. Some people visit the cemetery and have picnics at the graves of their family. I have heard of it, known friends who honor this day, although never celebrated it personally.

I was reminded about it again, while listening to this piece on NPR, call Witnessing the Election for Those Who Can't. At the end the reporter asked who you would spend the day with (of your dead family or friends), and what would you talk about. A good question, but a tough one.

A few nights back I had a dream. There were many parts to it, some a bit bizarre, most I don't remember, but it ended in a most beautiful way. I was with my Mom and we were literally among the stars. There weren't words for how beautiful it was or how peaceful.

The truth is I have never been to my Mother's grave. Well, that is not entirely true. My Mother is buried with her mother, and I have memories of visiting her grave growing up. When we did visit, I remember my Mom saying that she didn't believe in leaving flowers. She found it a way of dealing with guilt. She once took a photograph of her mother's grave with flowers on it (likely left by one of her siblings or father), and called it "Guilt".

I have been told that my sister is also buried in the same plot. I know that my grandfather, and his second wife are buried there. I imagine all of them together for eternity. My grandmother, mother and sister all have the same name. My sister named for our grandmother who died before she was born; my mother for her grandmother, who reportedly also died before her birth; and so on. This supposedly goes back seven generations. I don't know for sure. I imagine that would be an interesting group to hang with forever. While my Mom adored her mother, she had mixed feelings about her father. She disowned my sister when she was 15, and they were in the process of reconciling, when my Mom died. My sister died a few years later. And then of course there is my Aunt Hazel, aka my grandfather's second wife. Can't imagine how that would work out in the afterlife.

I suppose if I had to narrow it down, I would want to spend the day with my Mom. I'd bring hot dogs and cheesecake. I am not sure exactly what we would talk about, but I doubt politics would be the key focus. I'd just want to be with my Mom and experience that mother/daughter bond again.



on the night stand :: Free to Be You and Me - 35th anniversary edition