about today

canon digital rebel xsi

A quick list about today:

• I did not drive all over LA and Orange County today to pick up my photos.


• I finished making the lemon cupcakes, which were for National Lemon Cupcake Day - which was yesterday.


• The cupcakes were lemony, although a bit dry, which is surprising, considering how many eggs they contained.


• I had oatmeal for breakfast. Haven't done so every day, but most. Am thinking of bacon and eggs come Christmas morning.


• The postman dropped off some packages today. He didn't ring the bell or knock - he just yelled out that he was there. Odd. [Also it wasn't clear if I hadn't come out, if he would have left said packages.]


• I'm caught up again on my postcard project. Of course in a few minutes, I will be behind again.


• I found some ornaments I had forgotten about. More birds - a flamingo and an owl.


• I ran out of dishwasher tablets. Thankfully B stopped and got more on the way home. That could have been a disaster.


• The Christmas cards are still not done.

on the nights stand :: The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate by Jacqueline Kelly

oh christmas cards

canon digital rebel xsi

Disclaimer: I really do love the tradition of sending holiday cards. Right now I am just venting, as part of me feels like pulling my hair out, strand by strand. I will feel much better once they are safely in a mailbox.^* This really is something I want to do (sending the cards, not pulling my hair out).

Today was the day I had planned on having the bulk of my holiday cards in the mail. Alas, I did not make this goal. I am probably not even close. It should still happen before the week is out. The devil is in the details, or so they say.

The photos have been ordered. They are probably even ready to be picked up. I just lack a way to get there, as Ritz has closed most of its stores in the greater LA area. Now I am starting to regret that nasty letter I sent to the Pasadena store, although their staff truly was useless.

The plan is to take B to work in Pasadena, and then drive to Newport Beach to pick up the photos, then drive back to Pasadena to pick him up and drive back to the house. Anyone familiar with LA, knows that is some serious driving. I may have to come up with a Plan B.

The thing that is really getting me is making sure I have everyone's address and names of spouses and children. I once made the mistake of putting the wrong name of one of my friend's sons on a card. I was thinking how much her son looked like a mini version on her father, and so I wrote her father's name by mistake. Oops. I was so embarrassed.

I also find myself saying (aloud), why do people move? Yes, this comes from the mouth of a woman who has moved how many times? Wait, 28. Not that I am counting or anything. But still, why do people move without sending some sort of update to their friends - especially the ones who still send things in the mail!

I still hate Facebook, but don't know how I would complete this crazy task without it. It has been great with the spouse's names that I can't seem to recall. It's not entirely my faulty memory. In some cases, we have never met, or only met once, or even just in passing at some huge event where I met 300 other people.

I do my best to keep my paper address book up to date, but find it nearly impossible with all the moving, name-changing (oh wait, I did that too), and baby having that goes on these days. I know it is just that my friends are at the stage in life, that this is what we do. It also doesn't help that I have more than one address book, and keep some things on the computer as well. Gmail search is a godsend.

_______________________________________________________________
^*Yes, I believe large batches of holiday cards should be put in an actual mailbox like that scene from When Harry Met Sally.

on the night stand :: Big Rabbit's Bad Mood by Ramona Badescu.

another christmas story

canon digital rebel xsi

When I was in the fourth grade, the school had a Christmas pageant. Each class performed a skit or sang. It was a pretty big deal. At least I remember spending much time on it.

I had joined the class after school started, so by the time December rolled around, I was still the new kid. My sister was making an impression in the classroom next door. Not a good one, either.

Each class was given time to practice their act in the auditorium. Apparently despite my shyness, I could make my voice carry. Someone noticed, and made me the announcer. I was pretty shocked. I figured they would have picked an eighth grader.

My other role was to play a German girl in our play about Christmas around the world. I sang O Christmas Tree with two other girls from my class. We had to pull a Christmas tree on and off the stage.

On the night of the performance, I guess my sister's teacher didn't get the memo that I was made the announcer. I remember going up to the microphone as my sister's class was getting ready for their signing performance. Her teacher came up to me, as she was tuning her guitar, and asked quite abruptly, what I was doing up at the podium. Did I mention she was a nun? I was a bit taken aback, but managed to somehow get out the words that I was the announcer. It really threw me off. I guess she was afraid I was there to pull a prank or something.

Of course I wasn't thrilled when the following year she would take over the fifth grade class. I spent the year on edge. I don't think she believed we were sisters, yet she seemed to be waiting for me to act out until classes ended in June.


on the night stand :: Little Bee by Chris Cleave.

in my own bed

canon digital rebel xsi

If all goes well, tomorrow I will sleep in my own bed for the first time in over three years. Please don't misunderstand, I've been sleeping in a bed since we have moved back to California - just not my own.

It is one of those things most of us take for granted. A bed of your own. Your own space, even if you share it with someone else. It is where you start and end most days. It is where you have dreams and nightmares. It is something you probably can't fully appreciate until it is taken away, although you might miss it if you travel.

We recently reached platinum level again at Starwood. Reportedly we have stayed over 100 nights since we joined. So clearly that is where some of my nights have been spent. And I am sure at least 200 more have been spent in hotels that were not nearly as nice.

And here at the house I have gotten to feel like Goldilocks, despite my brown hair. There are two twin beds, a full, and a California king. I have slept on all of them at some point while here. They are all approaching the 30-year old mark, and even if they weren't none of them feel "just right". We have been thinking about getting a new bed for a while, but I have been a bit resistant because it would feel like we were giving up the goal of moving out of here. Also there is the issue of actually buying a bed. Mattress shopping is nerve wracking.

There are two discount mattress stores here in the LA area that run competing ads on late night television. The skinny blonde one is always trying to outdo the overweight balding one. The latest ads are about dust mites. At least they are cartoon dust mites, but still not images you want in your head before climbing into a bed that according to them, must be crawling with them. Their claim is that after eight years, a typical mattress doubles in weight due to sweat and dust mites. They don't say if it is expodential if your mattress is over three times that age. Honestly I don't want to know, but I think it did push me towards the idea of getting a new bed, although that wasn't the only reason.

Several months back I woke up one morning, and could hardly move. Somehow I managed to drag myself out of bed to go pee. I thought to myself that if I could just get back into bed and stretch, everything would be fine. I was so wrong.

I did managed to get back, but then really found myself in much pain, and truly unable to move. B heard me moaning and came in to check on me. He started laughing when he saw the contortion I had managed to form myself into. Of course I did manage to get up, and after a few hours, was fine. Still it was a bit disconcerting. But as I said, that was several months ago. It really was the images of dust mites (now with Christmas trees) that were the last straw.

I know that this bed isn't going to solve everything. It will still reside in a place that doesn't feel anything like a home to me. But hopefully I will sleep better, and my back will feel better.



on the night stand :: Last Night by Hyewon Yum.

oh christmas tree

canon digital rebel xsi

I've been thinking about when to put up the tree. For many families there is a tradition around the tree. When it is put up. How it gets decorated. What you do during, and maybe even after it is done.

I realized that in my family, when I was still living with both my parents, we didn't put up the tree until the last minute. In fact, on our last Christmas together, we put up the tree on Christmas Eve.

I really really wanted a white Christmas tree. I was seven, and pretty much got what I wanted. We had an artificial green tree in the basement, but I convinced my father it was time for a new one. My mother was not keen on the idea, but let us go shopping on the day before Christmas.

All the trees were half off. They only had one white one that met my standards. Unfortunately it was out of stock.

The good news was that the sales lady said if we helped her remove the decorations, we could have the floor model. Even better, we could have all the ornaments at no charge. Score!

So we helped pack up the decorations. They were red balls and little snowmen and women. We packed up the tree and loaded up the car. Then we went home and set everything up. It looked great. And was ready just in time to go to bed and wait for Santa's arrival.

I am not sure when we took the tree back down, but I bet it was before the New Year. We could always go visit my grandmother, who had her tree (which touched the ceiling) up for most of January. It was green though, not white.


on the night stand :: When Wanderers Cease to Roam by Vivian Swift.

catching up

canon digital rebel xsi

I thought I would do an update of sorts:

• I finally made the last of what I had planned for Thanksgiving dinner - stuffed mushrooms.


• We have just about finished the leftovers from Thanksgiving. We really got our $8 out of that turkey.


• I finished my holiday card list. I am sure there will be some additions, and I still need some addresses, but I could get the bulk of the cards in the mail by the 15th.


• I have even started addressing the cards. I should probably order stamps.


• I also figured out our holiday gift list.


• I am also once again caught up on my postcard project. Card number 10 goes in the mail tomorrow.

on the night stand :: Of Bees and Mist by Eric Setiawan.

a trip down memory lane

canon digital rebel xsi

Recently I found several of my classmates from grade school on FaceBook. This was a class of about 40 students, the majority of whom had been together since first grade. I didn't join them until the sixth grade, and we graduated in the eighth. That's the longest I attended one school (aside from college), by the way.

Today I was reminded of an incident that happened in the eighth grade. On my way home from school, I was hit by a car while riding my new bike. Overall, I was fine. My face did hit the pavement, leaving me to look like Frankenstein for about a month. I actually called my best friend after getting home from the hospital and told her I was hit by a car. I forgot that I had had time to process this, as she started screaming into the phone.

The driver that hit me was pretty young. He might have actually been in high school. Unfortunately one of the witnesses to the accident insisted I hit the car, and since I was driving the wrong way on the sidewalk, I was cited. I actually had to attend traffic school. I was 13-years old.

The truth was this driver was making a right turn on red, and didn't stop completely, or behind the intersection lines. In the end, he was not held responsible for any of my medical bills.

The accident happened at a busy intersection. There was a gas station on the corner, so someone there called 911. The ambulance was required to take me to the hospital because I had sustained a head injury. I really just wanted to walk my bike home. I was about 3 blocks away, and was so not looking to my mother's reaction. I hadn't seen my face yet.

At the hospital they took x-rays. I was fine. In a weird turn of events, my Mom was actually home that afternoon. She was making eggplant for dinner. Normally she wouldn't have been home for a couple of hours after the accident happened. She stopped cooking, and met me at the hospital.

I remember asking the doctor if I could go back to school the next day. I had a spelling test. I still think he went back to check the x-rays again, as I am sure most kids wanted an excuse to stay home from school.

I did go to school the next day, despite how horrible my face looked. My Mom drove me because the doctor was concerned that I could pass out. I didn't. But because my Mom had an early day, I arrived at school much earlier than usual. I still remember everyone coming up to me as they arrived at school, asking what had happened to me.

I went to a cheerleading competition not too long after that. My face was still pretty bad. This wasn't something that you could cover up with makeup. By that point, I was good at ignoring the stares.

Before I completely healed, I rode my repaired bike to the traffic school for non-drivers. As part of the experience, we had to go around the room and say why we were there. Most kids had gotten caught doing really stupid things like grabbing ahold of a car while on roller skates, or riding with three people on a bike built for one. Amazingly none of these kids had been injured. Yet there I sat, my black eye still not healed, cited for riding my bike the wrong way on the sidewalk. There were gasps when I told my story.



on the night stand :: A Penguin Story by Antoinette Portis.

trying to get into the holiday spirit

canon digital rebel xsi

This is the first year in a very long time that I actually have a tree and decorations. Usually this time of year I am posting about wanting a Christmas tree, and childhood memories of begging for a tree. That said, I have no idea what is wrong with me.

Part of me thinks it is still a little early for decorating. It is only the 7th. The other obstacle is that the tree is in the garage. And I am afraid of the garage. There are big nasty spiders in there. I keep thinking that we are going to take the tree out of its bag, and find it covered in spiders. That is not my idea of a Christmas memory. Spiders make me scream.

I am still not done with the card list. It really isn't a difficult thing to do. I just have no motivation. I really should just sit down at the table, and get to work. In a few hours, I could at least have the envelopes addressed. No idea about what to say on the inside. I have done some work on what goes on the front.

Maybe that is what it is. All the work it takes to put this holiday together. Not that I don't like work. I just don't like work that isn't appreciated. I think I am having these feelings of no one really cares about me. I am feeling isolated (which makes sense since I do spend a great deal of my day alone). But I also feel when I do reach out, I am ignored.

I know that this time of year makes me feel vulnerable to start. I get to constantly be reminded that I don't have a family, and how that means I don't fit into the Hallmark image of Christmas. That something is wrong with me. I also get to listen and watch other people whine about the families the do have. That's a pretty bad combination. It makes me vacillate between wanting to cry and scream. I probably shouldn't be around people.



on the night stand :: The Magician's Elephant by Kate DiCamillo.

wonder and delight

canon digital rebel xsi

This photo really doesn't do the holiday light display at Small World justice. It truly is amazing. It actually felt like it was snowing at Disneyland.

It truly has been decades since I have been to Disneyland during the holiday season. I know that it was special back then, but I couldn't believe how much wonder and delight the park holds right now.

I understand that they are making handmade candy canes now. I made marshmallows once. I can't imaging the work that goes into formed candy.

We plan to go back before the season is over. I can't wait!


on the night stand :: Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon.

making a list

canon digital rebel xsi

Today we headed to Old Town Pasadena to do some holiday shopping of sorts. Even when you don't do the present thing, there are still things you need. We got the blank cards. Two packs of 50. I know of only one store that carries them. Thankfully, they were on sale too.

We also got boxes for cookies. I guess I am committing to this holiday baking project. It has been ages since I have baked cookies as presents. I stopped because it was so much work. One year I literally had every plate we had covered with cookies. There were so many cookies, even after my Mom gave them to everyone she wanted, there was still enough to fill a coat box - yes a box large enough to fit a full length winter coat.

The worst part of it was the next year when people didn't receive a box of cookies. Some people got rather nasty, wanting to know where there cookies were. It was truly awful. I hope I don't regret this.

While we were at The Container Store, we also picked up an 8 quart container for bread dough. I think this may solve the problem I have been having making bread - it doesn't have enough room to rise. With this container, you can actually see how much your dough is rising. I hope this does the trick.

on the night stand :: A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore.

facebook brings out the high schooler in people

canon digital rebel xsi

I honestly have never been a fan of FaceBook. I still don't see it's value beyond being a way of displaying very targeted ads. I play along because I secretly hope that one day I will have an epiphany and will see the reason everyone is so crazy about it. Until then, I watch and wait and frown at my laptop (a lot).

At first, I thought my problem with FaceBook was that I didn't like being Super-Poked. Isn't that something only my husband should do? The 'hide' feature took care of that problem.¹ Really though, it is the level of behavior many people exhibit on FaceBook that bothers me most - it's like we have been time warped back to high school (or beyond).

I see many people sharing things in an attempt to make themselves feel happy about themselves. I call these "the look at me, I'm awesome" posts. Really I should call them "the look at that lost soul" posts. I know you know what I am talking about. Some of you are nodding your heads right now. Heck, I get that we all want to feel good about ourselves, but there must be something more important to share than what came out of your child's you know where. And if not, then remember that listening is always more important than talking. Go toss a farm animal or play Scrabblious.

An even worse offense in my book, are those who call in the cheerleading squad to have a pity party - the "oh woe is me" posts. Again, I am not against the pity party per se. But if it is all you have to offer, or you really aren't being honest about what's got you down, I am going to bring a mirror and hold it up so that you see your life isn't so bad. Yes, I am the one posting about homeless children - because really no one on my friends list has a life that is all that bad.

I think the thing that bothers me most though, is the lack of empathy that people seem to have. From time to time, people do share some really hard stuff. Things like "my family member has cancer". And you know there are people who just want to hit the 'like' button and move on, except, they know that would be wrong. You can't like the idea that someone might die. And so most do nothing. How sad is that?

But even when someone has really good news - like they dedicated themselves and earned a promotion at their job, people can't seem to just offer a true word of congratulations. Again, how very sad. Could you really be that jealous? In theory the people on Facebook are supposed to be people you know. The people closest to you, or who at one time were close to you. They are people who shared a life experience (like high school or working under a crazy boss) that no one else did in quite the same way. And yet most of us can't seem to be bothered to do something that takes literally seconds - offer a kind word.

I am not letting people off the hook, but I do think that FaceBook shares some of the blame for the way people treat one another on it. It is a very passive aggressive application. The best example I have is that of defriending. When you add someone to FaceBook, the other person has to approve. But when you defriend someone, it lets you do it without any kind of notice. Many people find out because the person shows up on the right column under friend suggestions.

So think the next time before you hit "share". Are you really adding value to your friends? Are you having fun? Are you being truthful and caring? If something is really bothering you, let us know. That is what friends are for, after all.


_________________________________________________
¹If you don't know about the hide feature - it's great! It will let you hide things from your feed like Superpoke and Mafia Wars (and any of those other annoying applications that get people to waste hours in front of their screens so that FaceBook can generate ads). On the top right of an entry, you should see "Hide". It will let you select if you want to hide the application or the user. If you select the application, it will hide anyone who uses that application - not just the one user. And yes, you can hide people too. I admit to have done it, but only rarely when people are not thinking before they hit share. It keeps me from defriending everyone.


on the night stand :: Everything Matters! by Jr., Ron Currie.

25 days of free music

canon digital rebel xsi

Amazon is once again offering 25 daily holiday music downloads for free. Every day in December, there is a new MP3. You need to download the Amazon MP3 Downloader to start. Of course, you must also have an Amazon.com account.

I did this last year, and it was quite a mix. There was a little something for everyone. You can download them daily, or throughout the month. After the 25th though, they may or not be available.

Here is the playlist to date:

1. Joy to the World by Casting Crowns (from the album Peace on Earth)


2. Snow Angel by Tori Amos (from the album Midwinter Graces)


3. The Coventry Carol by Mediaeval Baebes (from the album Mistletoe & Wine)


4. Slower Than Christmas (explicit) by The Box Masters (from the album Christmas Cheer (explicit))


5. God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen by Jars of Clay (from the album Christmas Songs)


6. Christmas Tree by Lady GaGa (from the album Christmas Tree)


7. No Room by Todd Agnew (from the album Do You Hear What I Hear)


8. Hark the Herald Angels Sing by Carola (from the album Christmas in Bethlehem)


9. This Christmas Girl by James Pants (from the album Badd Santa)


10. Silent Night by House of Heros (from the album The Christmas Classics)


11. O Holy Night by Richie McDonald (from the album O Holy Night)

And just for today, you can download the entire soundtrack to the Disney Pixar movie, UP. Go here and enter the code: latimesdisney. This expires on December 3, 2009, so act quickly.

on the night stand :: Nuture Shock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson.

a postcard project

canon digital rebel xsi

I have decided what to do for December's challenge. I really do have close to 31 postcards around here. Why not send them out over the month, and see what happens. It could be fun. Or at least interesting.

I have postcards from Vegas and Disneyland and even Oregon. There are also some from the W Hotel. Those are actually pretty cool. I love postcards, but do agree that they are best sent out into the world.

I also realized today that I need to get started on my holiday cards. I always say I will get them out by the 15th, but have never succeeded. I'm lucky if I make it by Christmas day.


on the night stand :: Await Your Reply

a mitzvah december

canon digital rebel xsi

Mitzvah is defined as a precept or commandment. A good deed done for religious duty. Comes from 17th century Hebrew.

I signed on for another month of blogging. December comes with an additional challenge from Eden Kennedy: "to give something, to someone, every day of the month, and then blog about it. The goal is to act with kindness, obviously -- I don't want to be responsible for people giving each other black eyes. Your gifts can be as large as volunteering or donating to charity, or as small as a kind word to someone who needs it."

Being a bit of a shut it, I am not sure exactly how this will work. I also am not much into bragging about doing something good - somehow I think that takes away from it. I do like sending things in the mail, so perhaps that is something I can do.

Here are some other ideas (off the top of my head):

• Do something nice for someone you care about: make someone a sandwich, walk the neighbor's dog, do someone else's regular chore.


• Do something unexpected for someone you have lost touch with: phone a friend out of the blue, send a card, write a letter, buy someone something off their wish list.


• Be kind to strangers: hold open the door, help someone with a heavy package, smile, let the other person have the better parking space.


• Help the needy: give your leftovers from your dinner to a homeless person, put some change in the Salvation Army can, drop off a used coat or warm clothing.


• Start a project: bake cookies, take up a cause, start a postcard campaign.

on the night stand :: That Old Cape Magic by Richard Russo.