obligation

ob^.li^.ga^.tion
noun

an act or course of action that makes a person morally or legally bound; a commitment or duty.

ORIGIN: Middle English: in the sense [formal promise].


I only bring up obligation because I think it can make the world a little too black and white when it is used as your guiding course. Don't misunderstand, I think that obligation has its place. And I get why it has been used as a governance over people - it keeps things in order and makes it easy. But I also think it can quickly lead one down a slippery slope.

My Mother had this credo:

Say nothing that you can be held to, and nothing unless you are compelled to.

It has more to do with keeping yourself out of trouble in a legal sense (she did graduate from law school although did not pass the California Bar). But if you think about that last part and instead of 'say', substitute 'do',, you might get a better sense of what I am talking about. [Compel and oblige are synonyms, by the way.]

Can you imagine living your life only doing things that you were legally bound to do? If you had no obligation to a person, then you wouldn't have any reason to associate on a deeper level with much beyond your immediate family members. Sure you would have to obey teachers and be generally kind to your classmates, etc., but anyone outside the family really wouldn't matter. And family would only be those born into or legally entered into (i.e., marriage or adoption).

As I said, I can see why societies would be set up around obligation, but it really doesn't leave much room for the gray areas. What happens for example when you have no family to be obligated to? It actually explains why orphans are so often ostracized from society, as well as written about so often in literature. All of the great tales are centered around orphans for a reason - it allows the author (and his or her characters) to go to unthinkable places. It still happens today in movies (and books) - so many stories center around someone who has lost a parent (or a spouse).

My point is that while obligation in and of itself is not wrong, I just think it oftentimes needs to be challenged. Or at least thought through. Sometimes there are things that trump obligation. I don't think a piece of paper or shared blood should be the main reason you decide how you treat or interact with someone.



on the night stand :: Everything I Needed To Know About Being A Girl I Learned From Judy Blume